Page 53 of Goldilocks
“It’s another world. Seems like something interesting to check out.”
Austin scrambled to his feet and whirled on Sam. “Who told you about me? Connor? Is that it?”
Austin advanced, getting in Sam’s face. Sam took a careful step back to each one Austin took forward. He should have left Austin alone.
“I don’t know anything about you,” Sam said. “Just that you helped Connor.”
Austin glared like he didn’t believe Sam. And Sam realised that his doubt was true; Sam did know pieces of the story behind Austin.
“Some, actually,” Sam admitted. “Connor told me about himself, and you came up. I know the same thing that happened to him happened to you. And that you’re real prickly,” Sam added, after a moment of thought. Connor had told Sam an abridged, dismissive explanation about what happened to him. He’d spoken remotely, emotionlessly, as if it was a stranger he was talking about. His biological dad, Ben, had used him as a genetic experiment, injecting genes from a merperson into him as a foetus. Austin had been a victim too.
Austin’s glare didn’t lessen. “What’s wrong with your dad?”
The question caught Sam completely off guard. “What?”
“What’s wrong with him?” Austin repeated.
The ocean lapped lethargically against the hulls of parked boats, and a lone gull cried in the sky. Sam looked from Austin to his boat, hardly a stone’s throw away. “I didn’t see you when I came down with Eric.”
“You were scowling at your shoes.”
“And you listened in,” Sam said. When he saw Austin begin to tense all over again, he cast him a half grin. “Suppose that’s payback from before? My dad has dementia. He’s stable once he’s at the house with his birds and books, but he gets really confused if I try to bring him out anywhere.” Sam wanted to ask why Austin was interested, but he got the feeling if he pointed out his curiosity, Austin would slam it shut just to prove Sam wrong.
“Why do you take care of him?”
“My mom passed away when I was young, and my brother moved away. I’m the only immediate family he’s got left.”
“So it’s obligation?” Austin’s pointed questions were clearly seeking something, but Sam didn’t know Austin well enough to know what he was looking for, or if Sam could give it to him even if he did.
“Partly. Love too. He was always good to me, and patient,” Sam explained. “And I want to give back that patience.”
Austin’s pointed look turned piercing. “You’re always out on the water or at college. You’re hardly home an hour each day. That isn’t what patience and love look like.”
The nasty words struck true and pierced Sam deeply. Sam made sure his dad had food. Made sure to regularly take out new books on birds from the library for him and made sure the radio was tuned properly whenever he was in the house. But Sam spent less and less time at home with each passing month. Refusing to acknowledge that the obligation was stifling and that he wanted to be out and doing other things. That he wanted to be out on the water, hanging out with Goldilocks and indulging in his art.
Sam hated Austin in the seconds that followed his words. “What does patience and love look like, then? Do you know?”
Austin opened and closed his mouth without saying anything. He looked as stung as Sam felt. Austin’s top lip twitched, as if he were about to snarl the same way Goldilocks did. He turned from Sam with a jerk, storming away down the dock. Sam watched him go.
As Austin stomped off, Sam noticed for the first time the sailing boat parked in the water just opposite his own fishing boat. Fionn’s sailboat. The blue canvas of his jib and mainsail were both tidily wrapped up, and in the dimming light, the red paint of his waterline on the hull looked black. He turned away from it.
He stooped down with a sigh and retrieved his ignored fleece from the ground.
As he was about to step onto his boat, metal clanged behind him. He twisted to look over his shoulder at the sailboat, examining the deck. He waited, but all he heard was the sound of the waves. If it was another boat, he might take a closer look and see if there was a loose piece of equipment that hadn’t been secured. But it was Fionn’s sailboat and Sam didn’t want any trouble. He ignored it.
Sam tossed his fleece into his cabin and locked up again. He wanted to spend the night, which meant he needed to head home and get his dad’s meals all sorted out for him first, and check in on him and make sure he was okay. And then show his patience and love by leaving him there without company for the night.
Sam pressed his lips tightly together. Should he spend more time with his dad? Between college and fishing, he didn’t have much spare time. So if he truly wanted to do that, be more present at the house, it would mean giving one of those up. And Sam could survive with just fishing, but he couldn’t commit to only college. He didn’t have the money for that.
More time with his dad would mean giving up college. He didn’t let himself acknowledge the third thing he could give up.
“I’ll be back in an hour,” Sam said aloud, in case Goldilocks was lurking nearby. “Or two.”
***
It ended up being three.
Sam shouldn’t have even bothered leaving the house again given the late hour, but he did, waiting only for the dryer to finish its cycle so he had fresh and clean clothes to replace the wet ones on his boat. The pier was abandoned given the late hour, and Sam didn’t catch sight or sound of anybody as he got onto the boat and started the engine. He went to Curlew Bay, where it was private.