Page 21

Sitting on the floor in my bedroom, I sat there organizing everything we had for our baby boy.

The countdown until delivery day was vastly approaching.

Every day, I grew a little larger, and he moved around a little more.

I placed a hand on my belly as flutters filled my core. He was always right on cue.

I had a feeling he was going to be active like his father.

So, I spent a lot of time already praying for my sanity.

I was excited, too. The thought of a little me or Kianis intrigued me.

Or would he be the perfect mixture of us both?

I tried to fight back my tears with a sniffle as I quickly placed the last set of outfits in the drawer I’d purchased to hold his things.

Walking over to the box with the crib, I knew it couldn’t be put off for much longer. Since my husband still hadn’t shown his face, I decided to work on it myself. I had nothing but time, and it would give me something to do other than sit around thinking about him.

Glancing down at the rock on my finger, I entertained the idea of having to take it off if Kinga didn’t get his shit together.

For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

In a way, it’d become a part of me. Despite his silence, I knew Kianis loved me.

I just think everything was changing too fast for him, and he got scared.

I couldn’t say I blamed him. This love shit could get scary.

Not having the ability to control any aspect of it or the intensity of the emotions you got to experience…

it really could be a lot. So, if that’s what was getting to him, I couldn’t even be mad because I understood.

I just wish it didn’t hurt so damn much.

I attempted to attach one end of the crib to another and realized the instructions weren’t so easy to read.

Tears welled in my eyes as feelings of loneliness pressed down on me.

I wondered how much of this I would have to do alone if Kianis and I ended up separating in the future.

My eyes drifted to my phone. I was almost tempted to call him when the doorbell rang.

I wiped away my tears, happy to escape the rabbit hole I was about to fall into.

“Who is it?” I called out as I was nearing the door.

I was already opening it by the time he responded.

“Your husband.”

Even though little currents of excitement rushed through me, I kept my composure. He was wearing a pair of Adidas joggers, a wife beater, and slides. I tried my best not to look at his dick print.

Folding my arms over my chest, I said, “Why didn’t you use your key?”

“I grabbed the wrong key ring. I need to put up the crib.”

I tried not to entertain childish ideologies like destiny and divine timing because then my guard would be down. Things could go either way as far as I knew.

“That’s the only reason I’m letting you in here,” I admitted before taking a step back to allow him inside of my condo.

He smiled with a wink as he casually strolled past me, carrying a toolbox.

I sighed in relief, realizing that was probably why I was struggling so bad.

I didn’t even think about the necessary tools.

He stood off to the side, waiting for me to lead the way.

I didn’t need to turn around to know his eyes were likely glued to my ass.

The most annoying thing was how giddy that made me feel.

When we entered the bedroom, I went to sit on the bed while he stood over the mess I’d made in the middle of the floor.

“You were trying to put it together?”

I shrugged nonchalantly. “Wasn’t sure you would.”

There was a little twitch in his jaw when he glared at me. “Just because I had a moment of doubt doesn’t mean I will neglect my responsibilities as a father.”

I stared down at my manicure so I wouldn’t have to look at him. “Well, how am I supposed to know that, and so, you are doubting us?”

He sat his toolbox down then turned toward me. “Not the way you’re probably thinking. Without a doubt I can sit here and say you are the woman for me, Charmony.”

I absentmindedly began to rub my belly. He watched me intently.

His hands flexed as if he were trying to stop himself from reaching out before turning his attention to the unorganized crib pieces.

I swallowed when he got down on the floor.

His muscles flexed as he began organizing things based on what he was reading on the instructions.

After a minute of silence, he said, “I know you said you don’t have anything to say, but I do, so just listen.

I have never had someone love me the way you do, Charmony.

For a long time I didn’t feel like I deserved to have you but letting you go was never an option.

I started to believe I could be the man you deserve when the voices started to get too loud again.

I’m so tired of always being in competition with my father.

No matter what I do, the world has to do a side by side comparison. ”

I wanted to reassure him that wasn’t how I felt but decided to keep quiet. There was nothing for me to prove. I might’ve been hesitant at first, but he’d proven why it was wise to be cautious.

“I don’t want to do this life without you and our son.”

“I won’t keep him from you, Kianis,” I blurted out.

His eyes shot to my face. He frowned. “That’s good to know but I’m saying I still want to be a family, something I was never going to have with Breeland because she’s nothing like you.

Where the world says you’re just a pretty face, I see a hardworking woman, a woman who shows up no matter what anyone says or thinks.

I see a woman who would give the clothes off her back to someone in need.

I see a gentle and sweet soul buried beneath eye shadow palettes and high ponytails.

A God-fearing, compassionate, and praying woman who’ll take her tears to God and expect gold in return. ”

I rolled my eyes and giggled as a distraction. It took all my effort not to let his words take root in my soul again.

“You ain’t have to say all of that now.”

“I just want to make sure you understand what I’m saying. I was distant because I was doubting myself, not you.”

“Distance that hurt me.”

“Is there anything I can do to make it better?”

I shrugged. “Maybe, but not right now. I lost a little trust in you, Kianis. What they say about trust is true. It takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair. You can’t ice me out anytime you need to clear your head. I depend on you.”

He nodded his head. “You’re right. It won’t happen again.”

Why did he have to agree so easily? I allowed my eyes to drift away from the worry lines crinkling his forehead because it made me want to reach for him and use my thumb to smooth his skin until it was flawless before planting a lingering kiss right in the center.

“I love you without a doubt, but not knowing if I can trust you, is a red flag.” I glanced down at my bulging belly. “Especially when everything is about to change. Do you even really want this? Or are you trying to do the right thing?”

“I hate that I even gave you a reason to doubt me. I didn’t put so much effort into you for nothing, Charm. I absolutely want this.” He waved his hands around as if I didn’t understand what he was saying. “I want you more than anything else.”

He paused his assembling as his hands began to shake. The silence was deafening. I could hear my heartbeat flooding my ears.

After a few minutes of silence, he dropped the tools in his hands and crossed the room in an instant. He snatched me up and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I can’t live without you, Charm. There are a lot of things about me I wish I could change but my love for you isn’t one of them.

“I would give up my last breath so you could have another one and another one after that. You are the other half of my soul. I’ve known this since the day you fell in my arms. When I told you I would have you, I was already thinking about marriage, parenthood, and happily ever after.

I was automatically going for three of the most beautiful things God could gift me.

“Things I thought I would never have.” He leaned forward, making my heart stutter. His lips softly pressed into mine and my chest expanded. I instantly became putty in his arms. This was home. A little silence wouldn’t change that.

He slowly lifted his gaze to mine. I shuddered at how handsome he was and the intensity in which he peered at me.

“You belong to me.”

“How you figure that?”

“God said so.”

I nearly choked up. His voice was too soft…

too raw… too vulnerable for me to handle right now, so I left his words as that.

I decided to put some much-needed space between us by going to the balcony just as the Memorial Day fireworks show began.

As I watched the sky explode into an array of shapes and colors that looked like magic, I kept repeating what he’d said in the back of my mind.

Because deep down, a part of me knew it was true.

I hoped he would fight for me, fight for the family he claimed to want so badly every day for the rest of our lives.

I glanced over my shoulder when I felt a chill race down my spine. Kinga stood there leaning against the wall, watching me with a slack expression. An appreciative sigh escaped from between his lips.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Charm. I could watch you forever.”

He looked so relaxed and at peace. Right before I was sucked into the irresistible vortex of his eyes, I returned my attention to the fireworks.

I don’t know how long we stood there. Me watching the fireworks…

him watching me… until we finally ended up in one another’s arms…

He began to kiss down the curve of my neck and my back instantly arched over the balcony, ready for him.

I could hear the smile in his voice as he eased his thick head inside of me.

My mouth spread wide in wonder and ecstasy seconds before the moans spilled out as he rocked in and out…

swirled his hips to ensure no inch of my walls were left untouched.

I shuddered at how easily he could submit my body to his rule.

Kianis was the king of every court. The tingling sunshine ready to sprout from my center was proof of that.

I exploded at the same time a beautiful firework went off in the sky.

As the streaks fell so did my tears. I got to experience a love like this until the end of time.