Page 19

I woke up some time during the middle of the night missing Kinga’s breath softly falling over my face.

I expected to smell the liquor seeping through his pores from a night of binging on liquor.

Instead I woke up in the bed alone with his son pressing on my bladder.

As I got up, my heart tightened as the weight of empathy swallowed me up.

I watched the game from home, so I saw that things didn’t go so well for Kinga.

I waited up for him as long as I could. I was concerned knowing he hadn’t found his way to our bed safely.

Moving at a slow pace, I kicked my legs over the side of the bed and slid my feet into my house shoes. I wobbled to the bathroom, rubbing my belly gently. After handling my business and washing my hands, I thought to check the front room for Kinga.

Reaching for the remote, I turned the TV on for some light.

I flipped through Hulu then Netflix looking for something to watch.

I finally settled on some Viking show that looked intriguing enough.

I lived for the blood, violence, and gore of those reenactments of that time in history.

Those people were ruthless as hell. Sometimes, I found myself watching through the spaces in my fingers as they covered my eyes.

I tossed the remote on the bed and shuffled through my condo flipping on lights as I went.

I sighed when I found the living room as empty as I had left it.

I turned to go back to the room but the craving for something sweet became too intense to ignore.

I allowed my bulging belly to lead me to the kitchen.

I swear I grew a little more every time I shut my eyes.

After snatching the door to the freezer open, I dug around until I found a treat I wanted.

My latest pregnancy craving was frozen fruit bars, and Kinga had stuffed the inside with every flavor in stores.

I chose a strawberry bar then grabbed a bottle of water from the pantry.

I preferred room temperature water, so it was perfect.

I popped it open for a swig then walked back to the room.

I got back comfortable beneath the sheets. Peeling open the package of my ice cream, I started to enjoy the sugary sweetness of the strawberry flavors bursting across my tongue. I wiggled my toes, feeling satisfied with my life.

Turning the show back on, I reached for my phone to see if there was anything from my husband.

I tried not to worry as I placed a call that I already knew would go to voicemail.

After I hung up, I got ready to text him when I realized my notifications were flooded from every social media app there was.

I braced myself when I saw that all the tags were coming from one of the well-known gossip blogs I Heard Media . I rolled my eyes figuring it would be another pregnancy speculation, except it was confirmation.

My mouth fell open, eyes filled with tears, and heart raced as I read Kinga’s post. There were so many typos that it was obvious his ass was drunk, but the message was still evident.

He’d revealed it all for the world to see in a heartfelt message then didn’t come home.

Tears splattered on the phone screen before I pressed it into my chest.

Releasing a shaky breath, I tried to settle the anger rising in my chest. I couldn’t believe Kinga had gone against my wishes and told the whole world about not only us but our baby.

The temperature in my body continued to rise until I was dialing him again.

This time I was sure to leave a voicemail.

“Kianis Kinga, how fucking dare you share our maternity photos like that! I could strangle your neck right now. Then you had the nerve not to bring your ass home? I know you had a rough game but we’re a team and I’m not your pregnant side chick.

I am your pregnant wife ! I could need you at any moment and you decided to pour your heart out while creating distance with us.

You better be lucky I liked the photos you posted or that’d be your ass.

Come home or call me back so I know you’re okay. ”

I tapped my phone against my palm before automatically going back to Kinga’s post. I sat on the edge of the bed reading it over and over until the comments at the bottom caught my attention.

@reignofall: Once a dog, always a dog. Don’t trust him Charm

@whatupho: So fucking cute together. I’m here for it!

@rastapasta88: King of the Court, a married man? Going to be somebody’s daddy? Get the headlines ready! He about to live in the blogs just like his damn no good daddy.

@alittlemessy: Runnnnn Charm. I thought you was smart! This is all too fast. Slow down mamas.

@stantheman: Kinga you ain’t wrong my boy. I’d lock that down too.

I swiped up as a call came in. My mother wouldn’t stop blowing me up.

I ignored every call and text because I had nothing to say to her.

She was excited the news had finally been shared with the public.

There were already potential brand deals attached to some of the texts and for some reason that annoyed me.

She didn’t even ask how I was feeling about all of this.

After reading the comments, I was feeling the pressure of how sudden everything seemed to the world when it was months in the making.

Hours later my phone was still flooded with a bucket of notifications every few minutes. Staring down at the maternity photos on my screen I decided to officially celebrate all the new things in my life. Vari sat beside me tearing up.

I chose my favorites from the photoshoot, creating a carousel post that included our elopement. For a romantic charm, I added Tink’s “25 Reasons Interlude.”

@americassweethart: It’s easy to judge what you don’t understand.

I wouldn’t want to take this journey with anyone else.

What may seem fast to y’all feels like destiny for us.

A culmination of a million lifetimes returning to our minds at once, reminding us that our souls always were and always will be one.

I’m holding your hand through any and everything.

Cheering on the sidelines while you do what you do best. Baby, I love you with everything in me and can’t wait to welcome our son into that same cocoon of love.

Vari gave me a dramatic round of applause as the media immediately started to eat the post up. My comments were flooding with love, support, and niggas promising they wouldn’t mind being a step daddy if Kinga fucked up.

“I am so happy for you, friend. You deserve this.”

I tried to hide my smile. “Yeah, expect the nigga might be getting cold feet. He hasn’t called or texted.” I pouted, folding my arms over my chest.

Vari scooted closer before wrapping an around my shoulders.

“I’m sure he’s fine. The media is eating him alive right now.

His sponsorships are up for termination.

He’s about to be a father and has already committed to being a husband.

I think he should be allowed a moment to take a breath.

” I frowned at him feeling like he was against me.

He chuckled and tossed up his hands. “Wait, wait before you stab me let me explain. I know without a doubt that Kinga loves the fuck out of you. He’s given his all to your relationship but he’s human.

You know the pressure he’s under. Trust he’s not out doing you wrong and only needs a moment to get his thoughts together.

He’s a man that likes to lead. Sometimes they need silence in order to do that confidently. ”

I wished everything my friend was saying didn’t sound so right but all I could do was nod.

I also knew Kinga loved me. After reading some of the things people had to say about him, I could understand if he was somewhere questioning himself.

I reached for my phone wanting nothing more than to talk to him.

To assure him that he was already doing it and succeeding.

Fuck what these judgmental people had to say.

A lot of them wished they had the love we did.

I sent a quick text then flopped backward on the bed.

Me:

Always on your side. Never forget that.