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Luke

M aybe I should’ve taken Seb up on his offer for some coaching advice. I didn’t expect to find myself here, one-on-one, with one of my players. But as Lennon looks defeated in front of me, I know I need to try to step into the role I’ve been occupying.

“What are your goals? What are you trying to get out of this sport?” If I’m going to be a coach, then I might as well make it worth both of our time. “Do you want to go pro?”

Lennon scoffs and shakes her head. “No chance. There’s no money in that.”

I’m about to disagree, but she’s right. No where close to what men’s professional hockey makes. “But it’s enough to make a decent living?”

“Maybe for one person,” she says. “But I need to get a job that gives me some cushion. So I can help take care of my parents.”

It hits me that I really don’t know anything about Lennon outside of practice. What’s her story? “What do you mean?” I ask her.

Her shoulders sag with a heavy sigh. “My dad was in a car accident years ago and has suffered with chronic back and neck pain ever since. He shouldn’t be working, but the medical bills cleared out most of their savings. And my mom isn’t in a position to financially support them both. I’m on scholarship and working two jobs just to get myself through these four years.”

“I’m sorry about your dad.” That’s a lot on her plate, and some of her frenzy on the ice makes sense now. It’s hard to keep a clear, level head for sixty minutes of gameplay when that’s not the only thing you have to be thinking about. “I know what it’s like to want to take care of your parents.”

Her stare seems to peel back layer after layer as she looks at me, like she’s trying to get inside my head. In this lighting, her eyes look more green than brown.

“Did you go into the league because of the money? To take care of your family?” She sounds curious and almost…hopeful. Like she’s yearning to find some sort of common ground with me at the moment. But unfortunately for her…

“No,” I answer, and her shoulders sag slightly. “But I was able to retire both of my parents and pay off their mortgage.” I was also able to make sure they never felt the financial strain of medical bills from my mom’s cancer treatments like Lennon’s family clearly has faced. But that’s not something I’m going to talk to her about. It’s none of her business.

“That’s the dream, right?” Lennon asks. “Being able to take care of the ones you love while doing what you love.”

I nod and shove my hands in my pockets, growing uncomfortable with the personal turn this conversation has taken. Needing to redirect, I ask, “What’s your degree?”

“Accounting.”

“Do you like it?”

She shrugs.

“Is that what you want?”

“It’s stable.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“It’s the answer I have for you,” she snips, and clearly I’ve struck a nerve.

“Didn’t you just say the dream is to be able to do what you love and provide at the same time?”

“That doesn’t mean that dream is realistic for everyone.” She lifts her chin in that defiant way of hers where I almost feel like she’s looking down on me, even as I’m standing over her. “Look, I asked you for help. To make me the best goalie I can be. That’s not because I want to play pro, or beat records, or anything like that.” She cracks her knuckles, and my eyes dip to the movement. Her hands are small, delicate almost. “I want to win the championship. That is a dream that’s within my reach. That’s why I’m putting pressure on myself. Because this is my last chance at it before I graduate and my life becomes work and numbers from sunup to sundown.”

What a depressing future.

It’s not like I’m living much better…

“I know you can make me better,” she says, voice growing stronger and more determined with each word. “I don’t want to play how I did today. That’s not a showcase of what I’m capable of. If you want to know what my goals are, then it’s to win the Frozen Four.” She flicks her eyes to mine, and all the air is sucked out of the room when our gazes lock. It almost sends me back a step. “Can you help me get there, or are we both wasting our time?”

Silence falls over us.

Her spirit, her fire, it stokes the long since burnt out embers inside my chest, reigniting them into a small flame that if I breathe oxygen into it, might just spark back to life completely.

The realization is slightly terrifying, but that just pisses me off. When did I turn into this…this… coward ? Scared of a challenge? Of feeling something again just because it could possibly be taken away?

I can’t keep running from it.

“I can’t make any promises,” I say.

She cracks a smile. “I wouldn’t believe you if you did.”

This smartass. “But I’ll try. I’ll teach you what I can, and it’s up to you to take it and run.”

Her entire face lights up from inside out as she practically beams at me. “Thank you. I appreciate it a lot.”

The door swings open, and Lennon and I both whip our heads toward it as the team comes streaming in. Red cheeks and exhausted faces pass us one after another. I step back as a few of the girls immediately swarm toward Lennon.

“Are you okay?” Maria asks. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

Lennon shakes her head as embarrassment creases her face. “I wish I could blame my shitty play on an injury, but nope, just a bad day.”

Austen taps her stick against Lennon’s leg pads. “It happens to all of us.”

“Shake it off for the next one,” Aubrey adds. “We tied it up, so don’t feel too guilty. Charlotte got us back on the board, and Austen sunk another.”

Lennon grins at the two of them, her smile completely transforming her features. It’s almost as if I can see the heavy cloud that was hanging over her slowly evaporate with the chatter of her teammates. She looks lighter, refreshed.

It brings a pang of sadness, remembering similar times with my own team. Maybe it will be good for me to go to Decker’s engagement party and see some of them again.

Alice steps into the locker room, and when we make eye contact, she raises a brow in question. I dip my chin, letting her know Lennon’s fine. She trusted me with her, and I’m going to actually try to be worthy of it.