Page 26 of Gideon’s Gratitude (Love in Mission City #5)

Chapter Eleven

Gideon

A wareness came gradually. I was warm. Deliciously warm.

And safe. Even without full consciousness, I knew I was safe.

Strong arms banded around me, holding me in place.

I glanced at the clock radio. Nearly six-thirty .

Lucky’s likely good for another hour or two.

And if he wasn’t, he’d let his needs be known. The dog never held back.

I rested my hand against Archer’s left forearm.

The hair was soft, but the muscle underneath was hard.

We were as close as two men could be while spooning, but I longed for more.

I longed to crawl inside Archer and stay protected forever.

This man could slay dragons. He seemed to have demons of his own, but reading him was proving difficult. We were polar opposites.

I was the proverbial introvert, preferring my own company or that of just a handful of loved ones. Other people were exhausting .

Archer put on a good show about finding his family annoying, but clearly he was an extrovert and fed off other people’s energy. He basked in the attention. Would have to, in order to be a talented lawyer.

What if he can help me?

Hope flared like a burning flame within me.

Kennedy seemed to feel I should keep trying.

Archer offered to help. Was it worth getting my hopes up, only to have them dashed again?

Leo was resolute—of that I had no doubt.

The man was known for being stubborn. Had to be to get that far in his profession as a surgeon.

Leo was also rarely willing to give up fighting. More than one patient who should’ve died was alive because of Leo’s fortitude. He believed every problem could be solved by willpower. The few times he lost patients, he took that loss deeply. He might be setting himself up for failure.

Patients were going to die. Life cycled that way. People passed away. Leo’s will of iron couldn’t keep someone alive if their time had come.

A tightening of Archer’s arms yanked me from my introspection. I closed my eyes as the bigger man pulled me closer.

“I could get used to this.” The words were spoken softly—a whisper across my ear.

“Yeah, I like it too.” And I did. More than I might’ve admitted. But here, in this space and in this time, being honest was the only way to react. “I wish…”

“Wish…” Archer’s prompting came out as a lazy drawl.

Dare I tell him? Dare I be honest?

“I, uh, like you.”

Archer stiffened.

Crap. “Like, maybe just forget I said anything? ”

The man’s grip tightened. Then he did something completely unexpected—he placed a kiss to my exposed shoulder blade. “What if I don’t want to forget? What if I want to say I like you, too?”

Relief, disproportionate to the circumstances, washed over me. Normally I’d never be this bold. But here, in this space, being honest felt like the right thing to do. The only thing to do. “I want you. I mean, I really want you. Like I’ve only ever wanted one person before. And that terrifies me.”

“You’re worried I’ll reject you. That I’ll hurt you.”

Nailed it in one. “You have that power. I’m vulnerable with you in a way I’m not with other people.” Not that there were many other people.

Archer exhaled. “There is pretty much only one other person on the planet who knows about my university boyfriend, and I can guarantee he’s not talking. I’ve been honest with you because you call to me. I want to protect, but I also want more. I’m just not sure what the next step is.”

I exhaled on a giggle. “Yeah, I’m of no help.” I rubbed my temple. “I don’t do relationships.”

“Only twenty-year ones.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Archer feathered a hand through my hair. “Is it safe to assume you don’t have condoms?”

A snort. “Uh, yeah, definitely not. I’ve never actually used one.”

Archer stilled.

“Well, when you’re with the same person forever, and you know they’ve only ever been with you, condoms aren’t a thing.”

“You were sure he never cheated?”

Another snort. “So like a divorce lawyer. No, Leo never cheated. I know because the guy was always scrupulously honest. About everything. If he cheated, he’d have owned up to it.

Despite everything, he never strayed. Even when our sex life went down the crapper, he held firm to our vows.

Maybe if he’d gone elsewhere…” I couldn’t finish the thought.

“You said the marriage ended because of your addiction.”

“It did.” Of that I had no doubt. Never a moment’s hesitation. And it broke my heart. Cheating we might’ve been able to move past. My use of opioids? Unrecoverable.

Archer slid his hand along my arm. “I’m sorry I brought up such a painful topic.”

I shrugged. “This is my life. There’s no escaping it. No hiding from it. I might wish to stay locked up here forever, but my problems aren’t magically going to disappear.”

Archer stroked down my side. His smooth fingers caressed and soothed.

So easily, I could find himself falling for this man. A man who didn’t even plan to be around that much. On the other hand, maybe this was the perfect relationship. No entanglements. No deep feelings. Just two men finding mutual satisfaction in each other.

Yeah, right.

Was I even built that way? A few days ago, the answer would’ve been an emphatic no . Now I wasn’t so sure.

Archer’s hand rested on my hip. On the waist of my sleep pants.

I’d taken a tremendous risk by coming to bed without a shirt.

Mainly the risk of rejection. When the other man crawled in practically naked and drew me into his arms, I knew I’d made the right decision.

And now, as that warm chest protected me, I had no doubts where this could go.

I scooted back a fraction of an inch so my ass touched Archer’s groin.

The man groaned. And thrust his morning wood against the small of my back .

Well, okay then. At least I hadn’t missed the mark on the attraction factor. I wanted Archer, and apparently, it was mutual. Without condoms, things became more complicated.

“I’ve been tested twice since my wife left me, and I haven’t been with anyone.”

Archer’s breath feathered across my ear.

“But I don’t want you to have doubts our first time.”

Ah. Assurance there would be a first time. “If you say I can trust you, then I believe you.” Even as I said the words, though, doubt crept in. How much time needed to have elapsed? When could someone be absolutely certain?

“Let me get one more round of tests and then we can talk. For now…” Archer eased his hand under the elastic band, slid down, and grasped my cock.

Shock ricocheted through me. Not nasty shock. Just absolute surprise. If I asked Archer to stop, he would. But I didn’t want him to. I arched into light stroking. The touch was gentle and teasing, but I wanted strong and vigorous.

Archer chuckled. “All in good time.”

I didn’t have patience. I refused to calculate just how long it’d been since Leo’d touched me. Even longer since the last time it’d been done without underlying recriminations.

Don’t go there.

That welcome grasp tightened, and I considered rifling through the drawer to find lube, but soon it didn’t matter.

Sensations bombarded me from all the sensitive parts of my body.

Chest hair scraped across my back. Muscular thighs rubbed against mine.

Archer’s other hand stroked my cheek, and I leaned into the touch.

Still, the sensations coming from the center of my body took precedence.

Heat suffused me, and my mind kicked into overdrive.

Each stroke drove me higher, and try as I might to fight it, the battle was lost.

I didn’t have time to give warning before the orgasm ripped through me. I strained against the release of pleasure that rocketed me into another realm. My blood heated and my cry of release rent the air.

“Wow.” I could barely catch my breath.

“I’ll say.” Archer’s voice was low. Amused.

Rational thought clawed its way to the surface. “You, uh…”

Another chuckle. “I’m just fine.” Another press of his lips to my shoulder.

I wanted to reciprocate, but my mind was muddled.

A whimper sounded outside the door.

“Oh crap.”

Archer eased his hand back and pulled away. He scooted off the bed and headed to the door where he opened it with his left hand.

Lucky thrust past him and launched himself onto the bed.

I oofed as the dog landed on my chest.

“I’m going to clean up, and then I’ll take him out.”

“You don’t have to.” I tried, ineffectually, to ward off the dog’s insistent kisses. “Yes, Lucky, I’m fine.”

Archer chuckled as he left the room.

Within moments, the water ran.

“I’m okay, boy.”

The dog didn’t look convinced.

Archer strode back into the room and snagged his clothes. In less than a minute, he was dressed and looking respectful.

I was a wreck. I tried to scoot back, but Lucky held firm.

When Archer clicked his tongue, the dog’s attention finally wavered.

“You want to go for a walk? ”

Lucky looked back and forth between the two of us several times before deciding the offer was genuine. He leapt from the bed.

“You don’t have to—”

“I know I don’t.” Archer leaned over and pressed our lips together.

I was stunned. I’d been the recipient of a mind-blowing hand job, but we’d never kissed.

He feathered my hair and pressed a palm to my cheek. “We’ll be back. I think he needs a good run.”

“He’s going to get muddy.”

“So I’ll wipe him down. It’s all good, I promise.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Why don’t you sleep some more? Just take it easy.”

And then they departed.

I should make breakfast.

He told me to take it easy.

I scooted out of my pajama bottoms, tossed them over the side of the bed, then gingerly rolled so my nose lay on Archer’s pillow and my body inhabited the space where his had been. I let the residual heat seep into my bones as I was pulled back into slumber.