Page 21 of Ghost of a Chance

Hadn’t he said they were cousins? He couldn’t remember. He definitely said they were like brothers. He’d always felt that way about Paul. “When I was a baby. He was my cousin. My dad’s sister’s kid.”

The look she gave him would have melted a weaker man. Frankly he felt singed by it.

“You’re just mentioning it now?”

“I’m pretty sure I said he was like a brother.”

She shook her head and her bangs shifted, revealing her frustrated look as she stared out the window. “Gia’s like a sister to me and we share no blood.”

“Sorry. I should have been clearer. Everyone who knew Paul knew we were cousins. I wasn’t hiding it.”

They arrived at the apartment building soon after and he pulled into a parking space nearby.

“What else?”

“Uh, Paul was working on figuring out some physics notes left by my dad.”

“Okay, all of this should have been brought up earlier. Why were you sitting on it?”

“I don’t know. Maybe if you knew we were related you’d think that I should have figured out how to help him on my own…lame, I know, but I can’t do this on my own. I wanted you to have to stay.”

“Once you brought the freaking book on the TV show that was a done deal,” she pointed out. Leveling that serious stare of hers on him, she just waited.

“I don’t like talking about any of it. I can’t deal with the grief. I know, grow up, right? But I can’t. I miss Paul and this freaky ghost version of him isn’t the same. I guess…it’s easier to not talk about him.”

Her lips narrowed before she opened the door and got out of the car.

He did the same, pocketing his keys as they approached Dan.

Kirsty was pissed and rightly so. She’d stopped her entire life to help him.

To help his best friend. And here he was keeping vital information from her because he was scared. She had every right to hate him.

“Hey. Before we go inside I want to say…talking to you about Paul is helping me open up. I wasn’t keeping the fact that he was my cousin a secret for any nefarious reason.”

“I get that. I was starting to trust you.”

Dan approached them before he could respond.

Dan chatted all the way to the apartment and didn’t seem to notice that Kirsty wasn’t speaking to either of them. When he knocked on the apartment, it was answered by Lon, the new renter, who let them in.

Lon had on sweatpants and a UVM basketball T-shirt. His hair was short and he had a weight bench in the corner. He told them to feel free to look around and went back to the couch and his controller where he was playing Fallout . Kirsty stood at the edge, still simmering from earlier.

The apartment hadn’t changed much since he’d lived there.

The same old leather couch with a blue fabric-covered love seat dominated the space.

There was a TV mounted to the wall and a small credenza under it for the cable box and game consoles.

The kitchen was off to the side. Jasper couldn’t see it from here but wondered if the sink was full of dishes as it had been when he and Paul lived here.

“This was my room,” he said, pointing to the one on the left.

Dan poked his head into the room. “Did it look like this when you lived here?”

“Yeah, this place has always come fully furnished. My bedding was different and I had a few Star Wars posters on the wall.”

“I’ll get some B-roll of the house. Did you bring the book?”

Jasper opened his backpack, taking it out and opening its well-worn pages.

All three of them waited to see if anything happened. Maybe they’d finally get lucky and it would be easy.

…Nothing. As Jasper placed the book on the bed, Kirsty wandered over to the other room. Dan asked Jasper to sit on the bed and hold the book. “As if you’re studying it. Look pensive.”

“I’m not an actor.”

“I’m aware. I want to capture some of what you’re feeling.”

When they walked into the other room, slightly more deflated, Jasper caught the scent of Kirsty’s perfume.

She was perched near the window gazing down at the street.

There was something solemn about her. To him, keeping his secrets about Paul felt harmless.

But in reality he’d hurt her, broken her trust.

He owed her a real apology.

“I’m sorry. I’m an ass. I just do what’s right for me. I should have realized I was hobbling your ability to reach Paul by keeping my secrets,” he said, coming closer. The urge to embrace her was so strong that he wrapped his arms around his torso to hold himself back.

“Yeah, you are. I get it. There are things I don’t tell you or want to talk about either. But we both want results, so from now on, no more hiding things from me,” she said.

“Deal.” He went in for a handshake, but she swatted it away with a playfully mocking look.

God why did her prickliness make him feel so good?

* * *

This apartment stirred memories Kirsty thought she’d suppressed forever.

Her ex Buck had lived in a furnished place similar to this. Off campus. With a roommate that he did his best to make sure she never met. This room suddenly made her feel twenty and so insecure. How did one generic room channel one of the worst experiences of her life?

Jasper was beside her, looking all earnest and apologetic, but she was in her head and not in a good place. She couldn’t shake the fucking loud voice in her head, screaming that Jasper wasn’t the only one hiding things.

Standing in this jock’s bedroom just served to remind her of the reasons she’d started hiding who she was. It was easy to say she gave zero fucks if people liked her or not, but that was total bullshit.

Right now she couldn’t even say her mind was on her career or helping Jasper get rid of Paul.

The room felt heavy, filled with something more than her own emotions.

Doubt, anger, uncertainty all engulfed her.

Was she channeling her rejection from Buck?

Having some sort of fucked-up emotional flashback?

Humbling to realize that love and rejection had shaped her. Especially when she was liking Jasper so much and he wasn’t leveling with her.

She was scared. Not about rejection. That was a solid part of the core of the woman she was.

“Hey, you okay? You look pale and—”

“I’m fine. I’m going to go outside and get some air while you finish up in here,” she said.

“But it’s rainy.” He sounded concerned.

“I like the rain.”

She walked out of the apartment, hearing the thumps of Jasper following her down the stairs.

As soon as she was outside she walked to the edge of the sidewalk near the wooded area that consisted of a few trees that had seen better days. Spreading her arms out wide, she tipped her head back so that the rain was cascading down her face.

It was her most fervent hope that it would wash away everything being in that apartment had stirred in her. The panic and fear of not being accepted, of not being good enough, were overwhelming.

Jasper’s firm hand touched hers, but she refused to look at him. Until the warmth of his fingers started to register and slowly the storm of emotion started to ebb.

Glancing over at him, she could barely suppress a laugh. He was mimicking her, but his hair was matted to his head and he looked a bit like Chewie after he’d been caught in the rain. It was impossible to look at him now and not remember their first night and how they were almost together.

A slow hum started in the center of her body, spreading outward, driving away the last of the cloudiness inside of her and replacing it with a need so deep it ached. Deeper than anything she’d felt for any other man she’d slept with.

It wasn’t love. Love was a childish fantasy. But this was a…craving. Yes, that was it. She craved him.

It wasn’t logical in the least, but from the moment he splashed his beer over her, her world shifted. That moment had ignited something inside of her that she wasn’t sure would ever fade.

His eyes opened and met hers with an intensity that sent a hot, sharp and fierce current through her. Jolting her like a lightning strike. She went up on tiptoe, pulled his head down to hers with their entwined hands. His mouth was warm and familiar. Just what she needed.

His lips parted, their tongues tangled, warming her from the inside out. The rain barely registered anymore.

This was what she’d been craving. Her heartbeat was steady in her ears, his chest solid against her breasts, sending chills even through her heavy sweater.

He cupped her butt with one hand, drawing her up to him. She pushed her right leg between his and felt his erection solid and strong against the top of her thigh. Desire was driving her now. She needed him.

His hand slipped under her sweater, the rasp of his calloused fingers against the base of her spine ecstasy as he rubbed a small circle there. Their kiss deepened, and it made her melt.

Like nearly into a pile on the wet rainy ground.

She was tempted to draw him down to the concrete and get him inside of her any way she could.

She was tired of holding back, tired of worrying that she’d get exposed as a fraud, tired of feeling like she was going to let not just everyone but Jasper down.

It was so strong that she ripped her mouth from his, stumbling backward.

Looking around for a place where they could find some privacy.

Jasper seemed to be on the same page. He thrust a hand through his hair and then took her wrist, leading her back to his car. Even those few seconds apart were more than she could stand.

As he tried to open the door, she pushed him back against the car.

Her hand skated over his erection, her mouth on his.

Their bodies both slick with rain. He groaned and tried to say something, his mouth moving against hers, but she just took his hand, with the keys, and guided it under her sweater to her breast.

As he squeezed her, she felt his tongue against hers again. When his finger brushed her nipple, she shuddered in his arms. God that felt good. So good she was ready to do whatever she could to keep him close to her.

Someone cleared their throat behind them, but she ignored it. Then they did it again. Louder. Fuck.

Jasper lifted his head. “Yeah?”

“I got the B-roll. I’m heading back to the house instead of home. Bri wants me to stay and get as much as I can. So see you back there?” Dan’s voice sounded strained. The rain had slowed to a misty drizzle. She tried not to think of what this looked like to him.

“Yeah,” Jasper said.

Kirsty stepped away from him. She still wanted him but the run-in with Dan put a damper on the impulse that had swept through her. She shoved her hands into her pockets and walked around to the passenger side of the car.

Jasper didn’t say anything as he unlocked the car.

She was dripping wet. Before she sat in the passenger seat, she looked over the roof of the vehicle to take him in.

Jasper’s lips twitched, and then she couldn’t help it.

She started laughing. He went to the trunk and dug around, finding a towel and tossing it to her.

That slow hum of sexual awareness was a returning throb inside of her as he settled in the driver’s seat.

His voice was rough and so, so sexy. “Not that I’m complaining, but what brought that on?”

She had the same question. She’d never felt that kind of desire or compulsion before.