Page 17 of Ghost of a Chance

This was…nice. Comforting. Something that he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He seldom talked about Paul. There was no reason to rehash his past.

He missed his friend, still . But no one wanted to hear that.

Kirsty was the first person in a long time to put her arms around him and make him feel like he wasn’t alone.

* * *

Jasper’s head was a comforting weight on top of hers. One that made her feel fuzzy and confused. Something she was doing her best to ignore, but it was tough when he was this close. She wanted to be just another girl to him, but there was no going back from this.

Things were changing.

She was almost willing to forgive him for surprising her on Bri’s show. Almost. But she held on to grudges. It was one of her flaws. But considering she was lying through her teeth about her abilities, holding on to a grudge here felt pretty difficult.

This close, she noticed a small circle-shaped scar on his left pec. She reached over to touch it, drawing her finger around it in a slow circle.

His nipple puckered and goose bumps covered his entire chest. Lightly she traced her finger around the scar and then moved lower to his nipple. His hips shifted, and she noted a substantial bulge in the front of his sweatpants.

He placed his hand over hers as she started moving lower. Lacing their fingers together.

“Why do you think Paul was reluctant to enter the circle tonight?” she asked as he stroked the back of her hand with his forefinger.

Delicious little sensations spread up her arm. Her nipple tightened and heat spread down the center of her body. The room was chilly but being this close to Jasper, she wasn’t cold.

“I don’t know. I have no idea why he’s doing any of this. He should have gone to Victor in the first place.”

She shifted to look directly at him. “From what you said, it seems like Paul wants to be with you. Why do you think that is?”

He wouldn’t meet her gaze as he stared toward the open door. Was he contemplating leaving?

He did have trouble opening up. She was onto something with these questions. This was the key to getting Jasper closure and maybe never having to do a scary séance again.

“Hey, whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“It’s dumb.”

“Deep feelings always make me vulnerable and sharing them out loud always sounds, I don’t know, ridiculous. But it does help?”

“Who do you share with?”

“My mom. But yours isn’t here so spill,” she said in a joking way. He was deflecting. Something she couldn’t allow.

“Fine. He sort of grounded me. Kept me from going too ‘Jasper’ about things. Since he’s been gone I’m drifting.”

So having Paul in the book…was starting to make more sense. Jasper needed to see that Paul was safe to move on.

Taking her phone out she added that note to the ones she’d been compiling.

“He’s with you for you,” she pointed out.

“I guess. Who knows? I’m more listless than ever,” Jasper admitted. “And this—” he made a wild gesture toward the book and television “—really isn’t helping.”

He was getting agitated. “Did the book ‘return’ to you by mail the other times you left it?”

He let go of her hand and she sat up.

“No. Only when I sent it to Victor. Do you even believe any of this?”

Sure she did. She believed that he believed it. And with everything she’d witnessed since meeting Jasper, it was hard to deny that something strange was going on.

Trying to get to the bottom of what was really going here wasn’t as easy as she’d hoped.

There was no one except her mom that she had let into her life that way. There was a lot going on with Jasper. A lot more than she’d been prepared to unpack tonight. This wasn’t just a college story of fun and games and one-upmanship.

This was his life.

He needed answers, and she had to find them for him.

When she went to her room later, she’d contact her cousin Liberty who was a tarot card reader and witch. Maybe she’d be able to give her some insight into that voice from the séance and how spirits might interact with the human realm.

“Sorry. I can see how much this means to you,” she said.

“But you think it’s just guilt—right?”

“There’s no denying you feel guilty.”

“Of course I do. Paul had his life planned out. He was going to get his degree and a job in his field. Ask Victor to marry him. I’d be best man even though Victor was technically the best man that Paul knew. You know what I had in junior year?”

She stared at him. It was clear he wasn’t expecting an answer.

“A low C grade average and not enough credits for a degree in anything but media. I had a reputation for being a serial dater who broke up with women after two dates. I had no map to my future. So yeah, when I think about the one who was left behind, I wonder if fate got it wrong.”

“Jasper—”

“Don’t. Survivor’s guilt has been discussed at length with my therapist. I get that part. But the fact that you might think I’m just manifesting the idea of my roommate into a book because I can’t get over it…that pisses me off. You’ve seen what he does.”

“I have.” There wasn’t much more to add. Jasper’s pain was raw and she hated that she’d driven him here. All to prove something to him. Was there really anything more cowardly than what she’d just done. Forced him into a corner emotionally so she didn’t have to admit her own feelings?

The answer was a resounding no.

“I’m going to bed,” he said, getting to his feet and walking out of the living room.

For a moment it had seemed as if this time she was going to be different. But no. Turns out at the end of the night she was still the same Kirsty, whose real talent was keeping people at arm’s length, never admitting just how much she wanted to let them in.