Page 7 of Gay for Pray (Arport Sacred Sacrament University #1)

Chapter Seven

Jude

SMOKE CURLS OVER MY head with my exhale, obscuring a cloudless sky bleached by blazing sunlight. I wave my hand to bat away the smell, then pass the J to Nick, who’s lying on the grass beside me.

He laughs as he takes it. “Relax. We’re not even technically on school grounds.”

“The gates are right there.”

I point my foot at the tall wrought iron fence that lies down the grassy hill.

Nick and I are lying on the side of the hill looking down at Arpor Sacred Sacrament University, our puffs of smoke wafting away in the still air.

The fence that rings the university technically marks the edge of the school’s boundaries, but I have no doubt the administration wouldn’t let that stop them if they caught me and Nick out here smoking.

“You’re acting like we’ve never done this before,” Nick says. “What’s with you, man?”

He passes it back, and I take an inhale while trying to formulate an answer. I asked him if he was willing to “go to the hill,” our code for this little excursion, and he didn’t question it, but I must have revealed more than I thought when I made the request.

“It’s just school and shit,” I say.

I don’t believe for a moment that Nick buys my excuse, but he accepts his turn with the J and lets my answer pass.

For a while we simply lie there basking in yet another picture perfect southern California afternoon, the university sprawled before us.

The stately stone buildings and tree-lined walkways tangle around each other so thickly I can’t see more than a few feet into campus.

Every once in a while I spot a student filtering between the buildings on their way to class or the cafeteria or some sort of activity.

This university is so enormous that I probably don’t know a single one of them, yet I still haven’t managed to meet a guy.

Despite my plans for this semester, the only guy I’ve actually spent any time with in the first couple weeks of the semester is Theodore.

And sure, I’ll admit that our first meeting about our project went better than I thought it would.

I couldn’t believe he actually gave ground about picking the topic.

It made me believe for a second that he might be human after all, and that’s a dangerous thought.

I don’t need to see him as anything but an enemy.

Otherwise my desperation might lead me down an even worse path than trading handies with Nick.

“So, the choir,” Nick says when he gets sick of the silence.

I glance aside at him. There’s a whole story behind his voice. From the sound of things, this is a line of inquiry he’s been holding back for quite a while.

“What about the choir?”

He meets my eyes for only a moment, then looks back up at the sky. “I guess it’s kinda cool.”

“Yeah?” I prod. Oh, there is definitely more going on here. I dive in, hoping to avoid my own thoughts by getting absorbed in Nick’s personal drama.

“I don’t hate it as much as I thought, I guess,” he says. “I mean, it’s cool getting to sing, even if we have to get up on Sunday morning for it.”

“And?”

His gaze slides toward me again. “And…maybe there’s a guy there I have my eye on.”

I sit up, grass sticking to the back of my shirt. “Who is it?”

Nick refuses to look at me. His throat bobs. “I think he’s a freshman. Dark hair. Kinda small guy.”

That could describe a few guys in the choir, and I’m not going to let him get away with dodging me like that.

“Brett? Kevin?” I lob out names, watching his face to see how each one hits.

He grumbles something I don’t quite catch.

“What? What was that?”

His lips twist. He glares up at me as he says, “Anthony. His name’s Anthony.”

I rack my brain. I can’t conjure up the image of the guy, which isn’t a good sign considering there’s only twenty of us in the entire damn choir.

Some nagging doubt scratches at the back of my mind, telling me I don’t know anyone else in the choir because I’ve been too busy thinking about one man in particular, a frustrating, horrible religious freak who drives me crazy in all the worst ways.

“…and, man, that voice. It’s incredible,” Nick is saying.

I realize I’ve missed his whole soliloquy about this Anthony guy, but I nod along.

Nick sits up beside me. “What about you? Who are you checking out?”

I shouldn’t be dreading this question. It’s the whole reason we joined the choir in the first place.

Besides, this was my idea. I hatched the crazy scheme to treat a liturgical choir like a glee club in order to figure out if there are other queer guys at this bleak campus.

Now the moment of truth has arrived, and I honestly don’t have an answer for Nick.

I should, but when I scan the choir in my mind, only one face stands out clearly.

Only one man appears in my thoughts, that scowl of his twisting his mouth into perpetual disapproval.

“I…I don’t really know,” I say.

Nick’s eyebrows shoot up. “You don’t know? You haven’t checked out anyone in the entire choir? Wasn’t that the whole point of this?”

“It’s not that I haven’t checked them out. I’m just… The semester’s been really busy so far. My philosophy class is crazy this year. My professor is giving us all this homework and shit already, and I guess I’ve been too distracted.”

“Too distracted to get laid? You can’t be serious. What the hell else are our college years for?”

Nick shuffles closer to me, leaning in to peer at my face.

“Are you okay, man? Seriously.”

He puts his hand on my forehead like he’s feeling for my temperature, but I swat him away.

“Don’t be an idiot,” I say. “I’m fine. It’s been like two or three weeks. There’s a ton of time left in the semester.”

“This is so sad.”

I hit him with my fiercest glare, but it doesn’t slow him down at all.

“Did that asshole in your philosophy class drug you or something?” Nick says. “This is seriously the most pitiful you’ve ever been.”

“Even more pitiful than…”

I raise an eyebrow, implying some of those desperate times he and I shared last year. Nick flushes, and I almost feel guilty for resorting to such a low blow. His prodding got to me more than I thought it did, I suppose.

I heave a sigh. “No, he didn’t drug me. He didn’t do anything. Though I am stuck doing some stupid group project with him, so I see him almost as much as I see you.”

Nick’s face scrunches up like he bit into a lemon. “Oh no. No wonder you have no game. His rancid vibes are bringing you down with him. There’s no way you can get out of it?”

“Definitely not. The professor insisted that we do this project together, and he and I were the only ones stuck without partners.”

“How? Don’t you have friends in that class?”

I do, but when Professor Demsky was describing the project, I was busy screwing around on my phone.

I missed half her directions, and by the time I looked up, everyone had already picked their partner.

I was left with the dregs, meaning Theodore.

It’s my own fault, but I’m certainly not going to admit that out loud.

“Got unlucky,” I say.

“That’s a little beyond unlucky,” Nick says. “That guy is the worst. He’s the complete opposite of how we’re trying to experience our college years. It might be worth taking the hit on this project just to get away from him.”

“Yeah, I wish, but my scholarships are contingent on my grades.”

Besides, the project is kind of going okay, as much as I would never say that Nick.

I think we could get a really good grade on it now that we’ve mutually agreed on a topic we both have a genuine interest in.

I never would have thought it possible, but there was a lot that happened in that library study room that I wouldn’t have thought possible.

Maybe that’s why I keep thinking about Theodore.

It’s not only the desperation, but also the surprisingly positive results of our meeting in the library.

He caught me off-guard by kind of almost being human, and my overwrought brain is seizing on that like it actually means something.

Logically, I know Theodore would push me in front of a bus if it meant he scored a couple points higher on that project, but the less rational parts of me aren’t interested in that explanation for why a good-looking guy is being slightly less mean to me than usual.

Nick pats my thigh. “I’m saying this as your friend, but you are never going to get laid if you go on this way. I’m worried about you.”

I smack his hand and his sarcastic concern aside. “How about you worry about yourself? Have you even talked to this Anthony guy?”

The speed with which Nick looks away answers my question for me.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Whatever. I have a better plan than your choir shit anyway.”

He fishes around in the grass for our smoke, stuffing it in his pocket so we don’t leave any incriminating evidence behind. School grounds or not, we don’t need the university on the hunt for students breaking the ethics code.

“There’s a party this weekend,” Nick says. “Heard about it from some guy in my bio class. Sounds like it’s going to be pretty good, and everyone’s going. They’re all sick of not getting laid during summer break. You should come with me.”

“Will there even be any queer people there?”

Nick shrugs a shoulder. “Maybe? Who knows with this place? I know where there aren’t queer people for us to meet—in our dorm room.

” When I hesitate, his voice turns pleading.

“Come on , Jude. We can’t spend another weekend on that damn couch playing video games.

It’s pathetic. At least this offers us a sliver of a chance.

If we go, something fun could happen, but if we don’t, something fun definitely won’t happen, so this is the only logical choice. ”

He isn’t wrong, but something still makes me want to hesitate.

A party isn’t a perfect opportunity at a university like this, but it’s a better shot than we’ll ever get hanging out at home with only each other for company.

Besides, I’m starting to think I need to spend time around someone, anyone, who isn’t Nick or Theodore.

It’s making me go insane. Even a stranger at a party has got to be better than this.

If nothing else, I’ll get out for the weekend and have some fun.

If nothing more than that comes of the excursion, it’ll still be worthwhile to tamp down these weird thoughts I’m struggling to control.

“Fine,” I say. “I’m down. It better not suck though.”

Nick flashes a toothy smile. “It won’t. I hear this frat house’s parties are absolutely legendary. It’s gonna be so good. Just wait.”

I’m waiting, all right. I’m waiting for a miracle.

I’m waiting for a guy to drop out of the sky and land in my lap.

I’m waiting for my college experience to actually live up to the hype.

This semester has to be different from my freshman year, and step one is this party, the most un-Theodore like event I can imagine.

I can’t stop myself imagining him at the party, stuck to the wall like a painting. I catch myself grinning at the mental picture and shake my head. The point of this is to get him out of my head, and that begins now.