Page 64 of Full Court Crush
“If things had been different…” She sighed. She straightened up again. “Goodbye, Amelia. I’ll see you after Christmas.”
She took a step backward and slowly dropped Amelia’s hand, then she determinedly walked past her to her car and got in.
She only looked back once she was halfway out the car park. Her rear-view mirror showed Amelia still standing alone, illuminated by the streetlight like it was the spotlight on a cruel stage. She forced herself to keep driving.You’ve done the right thing. She frantically wiped away her own tears.This is for the best.
Why did the right thing have to hurt so much?
Chapter 19
Amelia
Ameliagruntedassheforced her aching muscles to finish one more rep on the bench press. It was Christmas Eve, several days after Keira had left her in that bleak car park, driving away without looking back. Amelia had buried herself in work, taking as many shifts as possible. She was glad training was over for the year. She didn’t have to worry about coming face to face with Keira, or risk the rest of the team seeing her sadness.
The gym was emptier than when she had first walked in an hour and a half ago. She had completed one of her usual circuits, with a focus on her legs, but couldn’t bring herself to leave the gym yet. She aimlessly moved between machines, pushing herself until failure. The barbell clattered down onto the safety arms on the Smith machine when Amelia’s muscles gave out. She sat up on the bench, grabbed her sweaty towel from the floor and wiped her face. The sporadic sound of metal on metal and the thud of weights hitting the padded floor surrounded her, like a badly organised percussion section. Clearly, she wasn’t the only one without anything better to do on Christmas Eve. She wondered what the other patrons’ stories were. Was the woman sprinting on the treadmill trying to run away from heartbreak? Was the man checking himself out in the mirror trying to deal with poor self-image? Amelia sighed and slowly dragged herself to her feet to de-plate the bar. Amelia glanced up at the clock in the gym. It wasn’t even six o’clock yet. She instinctively wanted to text Keira and see what she was up to. Then she remembered that door was well and truly closed, and reopened the emotional wound.
Amelia picked up her water bottle and headed towards the stairs up to the gym’s changing rooms. Her legs were heavy after working them so hard, but her heart was heavier, like some undetectable force was trying to drag it down through a chasm in the floor. She kept replaying the conversation with Keira over in her head. Would it have gone differently if she’d managed to get her sideswiped brain to engage and say yes, she would have told the team? Not straight away, maybe, but eventually.
But when would eventually be?
An anxious, knotted ball of elastic formed in her stomach at the thought of the team knowing about her and Keira.
I guess that doesn’t matter now.
Amelia sighed and pushed open the door to the changing room. The idea of going home to her empty house with nothing to do except watch trashy TV until bedtime filled her with dread. She didn’t want to be alone right now. Impulsively, she took her phone out of her pocket and fired off a quick text to TJ and Evie, asking if she could come over. She returned the phone to her pocket and retrieved her belongings from the locker, grabbed what she needed, and headed into the showers.
Amelia frustratedly pushed the shower button, mad she couldn’t make the showers hotter or stay on for longer. The flimsy curtain that closed her off from the rest of the space didn’t offer her much privacy, either, so she rushed her shower, inadvertently getting soap in her eye.
“Damn it!” She hissed and spun around, lifting her face to the shower. The not-hot-enough water sprayed onto her face, and she rinsed her hands before using them to wipe away the soap.
“Damn it,” she whispered again. Tears joined the water droplets tracking down her cheeks, and quiet sobs wracked her whole body. She wasn't sure when her life became so messy. She'd worked so hard to keep it calm and ordered, and now she felt like she was picking up the pieces after a tornado had ploughed through. She sniffed, determined to pull herself together. Shehadto be able to pull herself together.
After a few minutes, Amelia let the shower turn off and quickly dried, wrapping a towel around herself before stepping back into the changing room. The changing room was empty, and even her quiet footsteps echoed off the walls. She sat down on a bench, and her mind immediately flashed back to her and Keira’s evening in the changing room, and how Keira had held her so gently afterward.
How could something that felt that good have been a mistake?She sighed and opened her bag to get dressed, checking her phone out of habit before she did so. She saw a reply from TJ, which surprised her — he didn’t usually text back so quickly.
TJ:
Sure, we’re in for the evening. Stay for dinner? X
Sounds great, thank you. I’ll be there soon x
Amelia put down her phone and got dressed. She needed to practice her ‘no-there’s-nothing-wrong’ face on the way over, because right now, she was pretty sure she looked how she felt.
By the time Amelia pulled up outside her friends’ house, she was pretty sure she’d arranged her features into something approaching neutral. She took a deep, steadying breath, then exited the car. She clutched the bottle of non-alcoholic wine she’d bought on the way over like it was a life vest. She hadn’t wanted to arrive empty-handed, and right now, her offering would also be her shield. She took another breath, then opened the door and stepped inside.
TJ and Evie’s house was warm, much warmer than Amelia’s, but that was because Evie ran cold. Which explained why TJ appeared in the hallway wearing shorts and a vest, despite it being December. They’d gone all out with the decorations; it looked like a truck carrying Christmas ornaments and tinsel had crashed into their house.
“Pipsqueak!” His voice was jovial as he embraced her in a bear hug, inadvertently pressing the wine bottle into Amelia’s stomach. “This is a nice surprise, what’s the occasion?”
“I want to see my best friends for Christmas?” she offered half-heartedly. “Where’s your better half?”
“In the shower. She’ll be down soon; she knew you were coming over.”
Amelia nodded and followed TJ towards the back of the house and into their galley kitchen. The kitchen had a mottled grey tiled floor, white walls, and a dark countertop running down one side. The air was thick with herbs and spices, and a wave of onion hit Amelia, making her eyes water. TJ returned to the chopping board, and Amelia put her bottle of wine in the fridge before taking a seat at the small breakfast table on the opposite wall to the counter. Christmas dinner preparations covered half the counter. A cauliflower cut and prepared with ingredients for cheese sauce lay nearby, and a mountain of peeled carrots were being kept fresh in a bowl of water.
“How’re you feeling after the game?” TJ asked, still with his back to her.
“Pretty good, yeah,” she lied. “It’s nice to get the first W under our belts.”