Page 63 of Full Court Crush
“I’m going to go before you say anything else you’ll regret.” Amelia’s voice was sad, and her eyes shimmered in the light of the streetlights as they passed. She wanted to reach out, take her hand, apologise and tell her not to leave, but her mind and body wouldn’t cooperate. Instead, she watched in silence as Amelia got up and returned to her seat without looking back.
Keira sighed and put her headphones back on, once again resting her chin on her hand and staring out the window. Their height in the coach allowed them to see over the cars on the motorway and out into the dark field beyond, an abyss of nothingness. A single rogue tear rolled down her cheek, and she hurriedly wiped it away.
Keira had stayed on the bus while the others ventured into the services for food she couldn’t justify spending money on. She had a sandwich badly wrapped in cling film in her bag, but she didn’t feel like eating it right now.
Not long after their journey restarted, she must have fallen asleep, because she woke up with a jolt when the bus pulled into the familiar car park next to the Blizzards’ home court. She slowly packed away her headphones and gathered her things, waiting for the rest of the team to exit the bus first. She didn’t want to have to talk to any of them.
Everything was so complicated. Basketball used to be the one thing she could rely on, and she’d already nearly lost it once after finishing college; the last thing she wanted to do was risk losing it again. Especially now, when it was the only thing keeping her sane while she dealt with her dad’s cancer, and the only thing putting food on their table.
The sports complex was quiet when Keira finally got up, thanked the driver, and stepped off the bus. The cool air immediately bit at any exposed flesh, in great contrast to the comfortable warmth of the coach. She walked along the bus and rounded the end of it, heading towards her car.
When she looked up, Amelia was digging in her bag. She had parked a couple of spaces away from Keira, and there were no cars in between them. The way the lights caught Amelia’s profile almost made her look like she was glowing. Keira smiled, but her chest was hollow. She thought about just walking past Amelia to her car, but her conscience stopped her.
“I’m sorry for what I said earlier,” she said quietly, scuffing her toes on the tarmac, unable to meet Amelia’s gaze. Amelia stopped digging in her bag, smiling brightly at Keira.
“It’s okay. Basketball can have that effect on us sometimes. None of us like being on the bench.” Amelia’s hand twitched at her side again. Keira folded her arms across her chest.
“It’s not just basketball, or being on the bench,” she said quickly, flicking her gaze up to Amelia’s. “It would be so much easier if it was. It’syou.I can’t think clearly when it comes to you.”
Amelia visibly tensed.
“I think what we did…was a mistake.” Keira had to choke the words out, though her heart tried desperately to cling onto them and shove them back down, but her head ripped them out of her heart’s grasp.
“How can it have been a mistake?” Amelia asked. The quiver in her voice rocked Keira. “It was… I feel so safe with you.”
Keira’s heart shattered into a thousand pieces, but her head ploughed on.
“I know, and I feel the same. But we’re still teammates. You’re still my captain. If I’d have seen anyone else talking to the coach at half time, I wouldn’t have second guessed it. But because it was you…”
“You immediately thought the worst?”
She shaped a few words with her lips, but nothing came out. She sighed.
“It’s not a reflection on you. It’s my own issues,” she said finally.
Amelia laughed. But it wasn’t a fun or happy laugh. It was hollow and spiky.
“Really? You’re going with ‘it’s not you, it’s me’?”
Keira’s cheeks burned. Amelia took a deep breath and slowly exhaled.
“Can we talk about this another time? When we’re not tired from a game and a six-hour round trip?”
“Why? What would it change?”
“I don’t know — I just — I,” Amelia stammered.
“If we carried on, would you tell people? Would you hold my hand, or kiss me after training, or on team nights out?”
Amelia didn’t respond. Her lips quivered and her eyes roamed Keira’s face. But she still did not speak.
“You need this to be a secret, and I need it not to be,” Keira said firmly. “And I know that, for me, that won’t change. So, it’s end it now, or end it in a few weeks time when the pressure of keeping it a secret is too much, and makes me feel like you’re ashamed of me, while at the same time potentially risking both our basketball careers.”
“I’m not ashamed of you! It’s just —”
“You’re the captain. And we’re teammates. And the team has to come first,” Keira stated simply, ending with a sigh.
Amelia didn’t respond. She just wrung her hands together, as her eyes widened with clear disbelief. Keira looked around the car park, making sure everyone else was gone. Then she stepped forward, took Amelia’s hands in her own, grasping them tightly, and gently kissed Amelia on the cheek.