Page 27

CHAPTER 27

brIAR

S haking my head, I stay where I am. “I’d rather not.”

“I wasn’t asking,” he growls through clenched teeth. “I’ll throw you over my shoulder if I have to, but I promise you won’t enjoy the consequences if you make me do that.”

I bite my lip, wishing he would just tell me what he’s going to do. The anticipation is driving me crazy, which I’m pretty sure is the point.

He stares at me for a beat longer. “Fine.” Letting out a sigh, he makes a move like he’s going to stand up.

“Okay, okay! I’m coming over.” I hurry to cross the room, absolutely believing him that I won’t like whatever the consequences are for disobeying him. When I come to a stop in front of him, his mouth is tilted up in a satisfied half smirk. I narrow my eyes at him, and he raises a challenging brow at me.

“Get on my lap,” he orders in a deceptively quiet voice. I can still hear the warning simmering just below the surface, though.

My nose scrunches in confusion because that’s not what I was expecting him to say. “Why?”

He pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He then pins me with a glare. “Just do what you’re fucking told to for once in your life, Briar.”

I throw my hands out in frustration because he’s not being fair. “I was trying to listen to you! You said to look for anything out of the ordinary. I did, and, spoiler alert, I found it. It’s not my fault I tripped.”

My voice is steady, but inside, my heart aches at upsetting him so much. I honestly didn’t mean to go off on my own or get sucked into another dimension. I know I would be sick with worry if any of my mates did that, so I can frustratingly enough see his side to it. It makes it hard to hold on to any anger when I know why he’s acting this way.

He jumps up from the sofa and gets in my face. Pressing an almost burningly hot hand against my back to keep me in place, he roars, “I don’t fucking care that it wasn’t your fault you tripped. I care that I almost lost you, yet again, goddamn it! I care that if you had listened to me, you never would’ve been too far away for me to get to you in time.”

“I’m sorry, Malachi!” I shout at him, my voice breaking. “What do you want me to say other than I’m fucking sorry? I don’t want to keep worrying you.” I hang my head and squeeze my eyes shut, pushing back the traitorous tears that want to trickle out.

“Then don’t! Jesus fucking Christ, Briar, you drive me insane sometimes.” He breaks off and tilts his face up to the ceiling, looking like he can’t decide whether he wants to strangle me or hold me. Eventually, he looks back at me, his lips pressed into a thin line. “You have one last chance to follow directions. My patience is wearing very, very thin. You do not want to see what happens when I finally run out of it.”

I grind my teeth as Malachi sits back down. Part of me wants to ignore him, turn around, and leave. If I tell him no, I know he’ll let me walk away, even if it hurts him and his wolf. But I can tell by the wildness and hint of desperation in his gaze, he needs this, whatever this is. And, truth be told, I think I need it too.

Briefly closing my eyes, I open them and walk over to him. I climb onto the cushy sofa on my knees and sit on my heels. I bite my lip. “What exactly do you want me to do?”

He pats his lap. “Lay down on your stomach across my knees.”

My eyes widen slightly at his direction, realizing he’s planning to spank me. Heat flares in my core at the thought, and I clench my thighs to try to tame the ache growing there. I brace my elbows on the other side of the couch and lower myself until my torso is resting on his muscular legs.

Squirming a bit, I try to find somewhere comfortable, but it feels like I’m lying on granite. With a huff, I give up and stay where I am.

Malachi pulls a throw pillow from the corner and places it under my face. “Hold onto the arm of the sofa and don’t let go. Understand?”

“Yeah,” I whisper as I reach my arms up. My fingers bite into the rough fabric as I hold onto the arm like it’s my only anchor in a tumultuous storm.

He reaches under us to unbutton my jeans before pushing them and my panties down to pool at my knees. His knuckles brush the sensitive skin of my inner thighs as he does so, and I gasp at the sensation. One palm presses down between my shoulder blades, keeping me in place, while the other rubs my ass softly.

I squeak in surprise when a hard slap lands on my ass cheek, and I bite my lip to hold in the moan that wants to slip out as the pain burns through me. When he delivers another smack to the other side, my muscles tense before relaxing the smallest fraction.

As he continues to rain down blows on my increasingly sore ass, all the tension and fear and frustration slowly drain out of me. The physical pain clears my mind and makes everything feel like it’s going to be okay. I can’t worry about everything I have to do, all the mistakes I make, or being a colossal disappointment. All I can do is feel and be in the moment.

I’ve gone completely limp in his lap when Malachi gruffly asks, “Do you understand why I’m turning your little ass red?”

It takes me a second before I can focus enough to understand what he asked. I shrug and blurt, “Because I pissed you off?”

I wince because I know that was the wrong answer as soon as it leaves my mouth. While Malachi’s angry on the outside, I know that it stems from being absolutely terrified that something awful happened to me.

He brings his hand down harder than he has before, the crack of it meeting my skin echoing in the otherwise silent room. I yelp at the sharp pain radiating from my already abused butt. “Try again. And this time, don’t be a fucking smart-ass.”

I hang my head and blow out a breath. “Because I wandered off on my own and worried you.”

“Close.” Malachi’s hand stills before gently rubbing the tender skin he was just spanking. “I’m punishing you because you’re reckless and put yourself in danger, constantly. This isn’t just about today. It’s about all the times you’re so quick to sacrifice yourself. You could’ve died today and when you gave yourself up to the Knights, and there wasn’t a goddamn thing I could do about it.” His breath hitches, and he cuts off abruptly.

My chest squeezes uncomfortably at the utter devastation I can hear in his voice.

“I’m sorry,” I gasp out. He resumes smacking my ass. The pain feels like it shatters a dam inside me. Tears start trailing down my cheeks as all the fear and anguish and crushing sense of failure that I’ve been holding inside for weeks comes pouring out. My breath hitches as sobs shake my shoulders. “I’m so sorry.”

I’m not even sure who I’m apologizing to or what I’m apologizing for as I keep repeating the phrase over and over.

I don’t notice Malachi’s stopped spanking me until he lifts me up by my shoulders. He shoves my jeans further down my legs so I can straddle him, and he crushes me to his chest. Tucking my head into the crook of his shoulder, he rubs a hand soothingly up and down my back.

He buries his face in my hair and rasps, “Shh, baby girl. You’re okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe to let it all out.” Malachi keeps holding me and whispering comforting words until my trembling stops and my tears dry up.

I keep my face tucked into his neck as embarrassment flushes my face at sobbing all over him with my bare ass in the air. Opening my mouth to say something, I have to clear my throat before I can force anything out. “Sorry,” I tell him in a husky voice.

He runs his fingers through my hair, the motion almost lulling me to sleep. “None of that, baby girl. You don’t have a thing to apologize for.”

Pulling back to look at him, I raise my eyebrows skeptically. “I just cried all over your sofa, and you were pretty mad at me.”

Huffing a laugh, he cups my face and swipes his thumbs over my damp cheeks, catching any stray tears. “It’s okay to cry, Briar. You’ve been through a lot, not just in the past couple weeks but in the past several months. And I was never truly mad, just scared out of my fucking mind. One second you were right there, the next, there was no trace of you.”

Leaning into his touch for a moment, I enjoy the feel of his warm palm against my face. “It feels like I’m supposed to be strong and eager to fulfill the prophecy. But I’m not. I’m terrified. And crying just shows how weak I am.”

His eyes soften as he shakes his head. “Crying doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. It’s healthy to let out your emotions instead of bottling them up and trying to muscle through them like you have for years.”

“It’s not like you ever cry,” I counter.

“I’ve cried a lot.” He sees the surprise and disbelief on my face and sighs. “I cried when we found you at the Knights’ facility. I cried when I found out what happened to Bastian and when we almost lost him. I cried each time one of my friends died protecting the pack. And I used to cry every time I helped Dad torture any of the pack members. The first time I had to hurt anyone like that, I cried so hard I threw up. So, yes, I’ve cried plenty in my life.”

I gape at him, surprised to learn this about my seemingly impervious mate. Malachi always seems so in control of the world around him that it’s hard to imagine him ever shedding any tears. “I didn’t know that. I’m sorry you had to experience all that. Why do you guys interrogate pack members? And why do you have to be part of it?”

He rubs small circles on my hips as he considers what to say. “I didn’t enjoy any of those experiences, but they made me the man I am today. Without them, I would be a worse brother, alpha, and mate. We only punish members of the pack who are actively doing something to put the rest of us in danger, like feeding information to the Knights or rival alphas. And I have to help because I will eventually be the one tasked with protecting the pack, and a good alpha has to be willing to do anything and everything to keep his pack safe.”

My eyes widen because I didn’t realize that being an alpha required things like torture. I guess I thought it was just getting to boss people around all day. “Do you regret any of it?”

“Many of the things I’ve done in the name of protecting my family and the pack keep me up at night and have stained my soul, but I can’t say I regret them. I did what was necessary, even if it wasn’t easy.” He cuts off and stares into space for a long moment, like he’s reliving all the things he’s had to do. “And I will always do what’s necessary to protect you and keep you happy, baby girl.”

“I know,” I whisper, because I do. I know he’ll do anything for me, even if I’m not always happy about his methods. “I’m here if you ever wanna talk about any of it, Malachi. I’m not squeamish about blood, injuries, or torture.” Maybe I was bothered by all that stuff at one point, but seven years of having to stitch myself up, seeing my own bones, and healing gruesome injuries took care of that.

His mouth twitches up at the corners, and he presses a sweet kiss to my forehead. “I might take you up on that. Not the torture part, because I have my dad to talk to about that, but I could use another opinion on some of the pack decisions I have to make. Now, back to you. What are you terrified of?”

“Letting everyone down. I don’t know if I’m enough, Malachi,” I admit in a whisper.

It feels like no matter what I do, I’m disappointing someone. And I’m tired of it. Just once I want to get things right, but nothing about the prophecy, fighting the Knights, or navigating four relationships comes with instructional manuals. Unfortunately.

“You, baby girl, are so much more than enough, just as you are. You’re enough for me and the rest of your mates, for your sister, for Mom and Dad, Rory and Ronan, and all the people that were rescued because of you. You won’t be letting anyone down if you can’t destroy the curse, but I know in my bones you are more than capable of it.”

“But I piss you off and drive you insane and make you worry and never listen to you,” I point out. “How can I be enough for you?”

“Yeah, you do. And you wouldn’t be you without all of that, so I love all those parts of you. Even when I have the urge to shake some sense into you, you’re still enough for me. In fact, you’re perfect for me.” Malachi’s lips quirk up in a half smile. When he sees the skepticism on my face, he sighs. “Do I ever piss you off and irritate you and make you wanna scream?”

I snort. “Yeah. You ordering me around can get old pretty fast.”

“But do you still love and want me even with those parts of me that frustrate you?”

“Of course, Malachi. You wouldn’t be the man I fell in love with if you weren’t insufferably bossy sometimes.” He raises an eyebrow, and realization dawns on me. I love him exactly as he is, and I don’t want him to change, even when he annoys me. I guess the feeling goes both ways. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” A full-blown grin lights up his face, and it steals my breath. I so rarely get to see him this unguarded with pure joy radiating from my most serious mate. It makes my heart skip a beat, and I smile in return, feeling a little lighter than I did before.

I nervously play with the close-cropped hair at the base of his neck and look away. “You really think I have what it takes to stop the Knights?”

Gently grasping my chin, he lifts my face up so he can look at my face. “I do. I know it in every fiber of my being. You just need to believe in yourself as much as everyone around you does. And you have to work with us, instead of impulsively handling it yourself. No one can handle everything on their own. That’s just setting yourself up for failure.”

I nod and rest my head on his shoulder again as I mull over his words.

He’s right. There’s no way I can defeat the Knights and stop the curse on my own. The Knights have a ton of resources, so I highly doubt I’ll be able to break into Dido’s tomb without help. Plus, there are parts of the search, like translating the documents and interpreting clues, I can’t do without my mates.

The prophecy only mentions me, but it never says I have to do everything alone. I got so used to doing everything on my own after my mom died. Even though I have people who want to help now, my knee-jerk reaction is still to make snap decisions and tackle everything myself. While I’ve gotten lucky so far, I know Lone Rangering it won’t be enough to break the curse.

The only way I stand a chance of defeating the Knights is by working as a team with my mates, Uncle Vale and his pack, and even the mages. It’s going to take all of us to have a hope of stopping Ryker and his minions.