Page 24 of Free Fall #1

Dan

I ’m halfway up the twelfth pitch on Heart Route, rope soloing again, when my phone vibrates with an incoming message.

I haul myself up to a resting place with a few footholds that’re slightly bigger than the nickel-edge holds I’ve been climbing all morning. I reach into my pocket to pull out my phone. I have it on a string that’s attached to the harness, so I don’t drop it and accidentally murder anyone.

The string gets briefly tangled with one of the carabiners. Once I get it free, I stare at the message preview on my screen. I can’t believe it. I’d nearly given up hope after two more days of radio silence from Sejin.

Are you still interested in hanging out?

With chalky fingers, I press in a question. Hooking up or hanging out?

Hanging out.

I can almost hear the emphatic period he puts at the end of it.

Yes , I send without hesitation. I’ve had his ass a few times, and I’d like to have it again, but I want to win his smile more, I know, whether I like it or not, whether it’s smart or not, this is the first step to achieving that goal.

Sejin replies with I have the weekend off

I do too

Wait, you have a job?

Climbing, yeah

It pays?

It could , I hedge, because I’m not sure this is the exact moment when I want to go into my “purity of motivation” speech with regard to climbing.

But it doesn’t currently?

I get by

Why are we talking about money? I thought we were talking about hanging out, and now he wants to know about money? I haven’t proposed marriage, for fuck’s sake. I just want him to smile at me. Jesus. I wipe a hand over my sweaty face.

Frowning, I type Does it matter?

Not really

Then why are you asking?

Curiosity

Fair. Now he can indulge my curiosity in return. What’s your dream date?

Wow, are you going to try to impress me?

I just want an idea of what you’d like

I’ve never thought about it

More bubbles appear, and I wait as he continues to type.

I guess it’d be something unexpected and exciting, but not frightening

Define frightening

Well, for example, I’m afraid of heights

What part of heights scares you?

Looking down? The one time I went climbing with some friends up a small wall, I hated seeing the drop below me.

So, seeing the exposure is too much?

Yeah.

Did you fall at all?

Yeah

Did you hate the fall too?

No. Well, it wasn’t fun. But seeing the rock drop away behind me really freaked me out

Even though you were roped up?

Yeah. It doesn’t make sense. Lizard brain stuff, I think

Brains don’t have to make sense

So climbing isn’t likely to be a good date for me

Not so long as you can see how far away the ground is

Right, but I like hiking! I like a good view

Camping?

Camping is good

I’ll pick you up Friday at sunset which, according to Google, is going to be at 7:36

Alright. How should I dress?

Comfortably

Like ‘we’re going out to dinner’ comfortably or ‘we’re going camping’ comfortably?

The latter

Are we going to build a fire and roast marshmallows? Zip our sleeping bags together and make each other see the stars?

I’m down for that

It’s kind of too bad we started out the way we did

Why’s that?

It makes it harder for me to resist you

You still want to resist? Why? He’s the one who messaged me, after all.

You don’t seem like a safe guy for me to care about

Nothing in life is safe

Is that what you believe?

It’s what I’ve experienced, yeah

Huh, well, I’d like to hear more about that

I’ll tell you about it on our date. I’m hanging a thousand feet up and should probably get back to sending this route

What? This whole time?

I send a photo of my view. He replies with multiple exclamation points, and Holy shit! Be careful!

I’m always careful

Are you?

Yes

I wish I believed that

You should. I’ll see you tomorrow at sunset. Send me your address

He does and I recognize the street as one not too far out from the center of town.

Sunset tomorrow, I say again.

I’ll be ready He again includes a purple, horned devil emoji. I immediately feel my balls tingle and my cock chub up.

Tease , I reply, since he’s already said we aren’t hooking up.

Am I though?

I don’t know, are you, Doc?

I guess you’ll find out, heh, go climb your rock

I pocket my phone again and start back up the pitch, ignoring the way the razor-sharp crimps sting my fingertips.

I feel like I’m flying up the wall. My muscles and blood are humming with something more than lactic acid and adrenaline.

I feel like I’m a bird, or a song, or sunlight embodied in human form.

I think this feeling is what they call hope.

Weird.