Page 16 of Free Fall #1

Damn, it’d been good, though. I remember that much for sure. The best I’ve ever had. The way he moans and moves, the way he shivers and writhes, the way his asshole tastes and flutters against my tongue when I eat him…

Damn.

I really don’t think last night is going to be enough. I’m going to need to fuck him again.

Plus, there’s the whole smile thing.

I’ve seen him cry, and grimace, and come. I’ve seen him laugh, and yawn, and smile warily, even happily, but I still haven’t gotten that purely joyful smile like I saw in his dating app photo or like I saw him give to Jeanie and those little kids at Tater Tots.

After last night, I really don’t think fucking him is going to earn me that smile, though. Powerful orgasms just seem to leave him stunned, not smiley. I’ll have to figure out another way to get it…

And I’ll fuck him a few more times too, for good measure. Because if things go wrong on Heart Route on D-day, then I’ll want to have banked plenty of magnificent orgasms like last night’s before I go. Sejin is the best source of those I’ve ever found.

So, Sejin it’ll have to be. Assuming he wants to fuck again too.

And why wouldn’t he? He’d practically sobbed in pleasure last night while I’d eaten and screwed him. No, not practically. Did.

There’s no way he’s going to be against doing this again.

I gaze at him, taking in his handsome face and gorgeous hair.

Smiling at the video on his phone, he’s kind of adorable.

My heart does a funny flip-flop in my chest, and I rub my breastbone, still watching him.

His lips are swollen from the blowjob, the ball gag, and the kissing last night. My cock stirs.

What is it about him that makes me so hot?

Everything. Everything about him from what I can tell. I even like his voice. It’s so…warm. Like a pot of maple syrup in sunshine. Kind of like his eyes. They’re a glowing brown that I’d pour over pancakes any day.

What the fuck am I thinking? Good lord. Orgasms make me dumb.

Sejin sees me watching and scoots over, showing me the screen.

“What’s VLive?” I ask, trying to get my mind off all these strange thoughts and onto the phone in Sejin’s hands.

There are five Asian guys on the screen, all wearing sweats or t-shirts, and all seeming pretty hyped up about something.

I can’t really say what since they aren’t, you know, speaking English.

Which is pretty much the only language I know, unfortunately.

“VLive is a service that a lot of KPop idols and other celebrities use to broadcast live videos to their fans. I mainly use it to follow KPop groups, though.”

“KPop. That’s Korean pop music, right?”

“Yeah.”

I tilt my head. “Why don’t they use Facebook Live? Or Instagram?”

“Because not everything is about American companies,” Sejin says casually, eyes still on the screen.

He points at one guy. “This? This is Cha Eunwoo. He isn’t my bias—um, my favorite—in this group.

That’d be Moonbin.” He points at another guy.

“But Cha Eunwoo is Cha Eunwoo no matter who your bias is. I mean, look at him.”

I look, and the guy’s handsome, but so is Sejin and he’s right next to me, so I’d rather look at him . But maybe I just don’t know enough about what’s going on with the VLive thing, so I ask, “What are they talking about?”

“Not a clue. I don’t speak Korean.”

“Then why are you watching this?”

He shrugs, still smiling. “I just like seeing them talk to each other. I like the sound of their voices too. Not just the language, which I find fascinating, but also I like hearing them laugh together.”

“Mm.”

Sejin looks up. “If it’s bothering you, I could go finish watching it in my car before I head home.”

“Nah,” I say, observing the men on the screen tease, shove, poke, and talk over each other. They’re all wearing makeup, surely. Because their skin looks like it’s made of spun glass, it’s so perfect. “It’s fine.”

For some reason, I don’t want him to go yet.

It’s possible, likely even, I could get hard again and we could go another round before he heads out.

I’d like that. Still, my balls are pretty sore and the rest of me is really feeling that long-ass fall from yesterday.

It was a gnarly one. A real whipper. I hadn’t placed a piece of gear properly, and so it’d been nearly a full pitch’s worth of distance.

The rock rash is stinging like a motherfucker now that the endorphins of sex and the oblivion of sleep have worn off. The bruises throb too.

Besides, if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t want him to go because I kind of like having him next to me.

His skin against mine is soft, and the brush of his lightly hairy leg over mine is agreeable, and I like how he smells.

His sweat, and shampoo, and the lingering odor of our cum is heady.

Rye would probably be very smug about this if he could see me now, cuddled up beside Sejin, soaking in another man’s company just because I want it.

So the fuck what? I’m human, aren’t I? Not some alien. No matter what my foster families seemed to think. I deserve moments like this, don’t I?

I shove the doubts away, along with the surging mental whispers that this isn’t safe or smart, that this is a distraction. I’m not distracted. I’m just at peace. Relaxed and attracted and wallowing in corporeal comfort with another man. That’s all.

Fuck, Sejin smells good, and I like how his breathing is timed with my own.

There’ve been men I haven’t kicked out of bed directly after fucking in the past, and the way their breath didn’t hit evenly with mine always made me crazy.

But Sejin’s intake and outtake syncs with my rhythm perfectly.

It’s like we’re one unit right now, breathing and existing together in my cozy van, warm and snug.

I’ve rarely felt so content in my life, and never with another person.

That’s what great sex will do, I guess. Leave you limp and soft, willing to accommodate and accept almost anything.

Like this VLive thing. I don’t get why he’s watching a livestream of young men from a KPop group who all speak and sing in, presumably, a language he doesn’t know.

But I’m curious about what’s going to happen, or not happen, next. Will they sing songs? Dance? What?

Before I know it, I’ve been watching these dudes for about ten minutes, and I haven’t hated it. It’s been…enjoyable? Leaning against Sejin, resting my cheek on his shoulder, and just absorbing this sparkling bit of human interaction from across the globe.

“Who are those guys? I mean, what KPop group are they?” I ask when it’s over, and Sejin closes the app.

“Astro,” he answers. “Fans or staff will translate what they said later, and I can rewatch it then if I really want to know what they’re saying.

But the important parts will be live-translated by fans on social media.

” He opens an app and taps in a few search terms, showing me how various fans have been posting translated snippets from the broadcast. It seems that some members of the group like mint chocolate ice cream and others don’t and, for some reason, that is a very important divide, requiring debate and noogies.

It’s beyond me, but Sejin smiles his particularly gorgeous grin at his phone , and I’m simultaneously thrilled to see it and disappointed that, once again, it isn’t for me.

“You’re a fan of them in particular?”

“Yeah, I’m really into their music right now. They just released a new album, and I can’t wait to teach the dance for their comeback song to the kids. I’m still learning it myself, though. Then I have to kind of dumb it down for them.”

“Comeback song? Were they on a hiatus?”

“No, that’s KPop slang for a new lead single on an album.” He shrugs. “And they call the lead single a title track, even if it’s not the title of the album. It’s a thing.”

But I have more questions. “You’re a dancer? Were you trained or self-taught?”

Sejin laughs. “I’m not a dancer. I’m just a KPop fan who likes kids.” He stands up, and I’m afforded a full body, naked view of him stretching. God, he’s gorgeous. I don’t want him to go yet, and I reach for him.

“Sorry, I have to work this morning,” he says. “I need to find a shower and…” He glances at his phone again. “I’ll still be late, but whatever. What do you recommend?”

“For a shower?”

He nods, gathering his clothes and sadly covering himself so that I can’t see his pretty butt and the sleekness of his back or the sexy way his balls nestle under his cock.

I really want to get my hands on him again, but I guess I have to wait because consent has been withdrawn now, and he’s on his way out.

“The campground showers are that way.” I gesture with my hand. “But they’re pretty gross. If you head into the woods,”—I wave my hand the opposite way—“you can find a fresh waterfall, and I prefer it. The water’s cleaner, believe it or not.”

Sejin stares at me, glances at his phone again, and seems to calculate. “A waterfall?” he says uncertainly.

“It’s not far. Not that much farther than the shower block.”

That’s not entirely true, but I want to show him the waterfall and see him wet and slick beneath it. No idea why, but I do.

“You’ll have to show me another time,” he says. “I really do have to get to work. Campground showers seem like the best bet.”

“Okay.”

“But, hey, I mean it,” he says, his eyes earnest and intent on mine. “Next time? I’d love to see it. I’ve never used a waterfall as my shower before.”

Next time. Yes , he said next time. I smile, feeling like I’ve won a prize of ice cream, pancakes, Jolly Ranchers, and every other yummy thing in the whole world.

“You’re in for a treat,” I say about the waterfall. “An ice-cold treat.”

Sejin’s eyes go wide and he looks like he wants to ask more questions, but then he glances at the time on his phone again, grabs his pants, and says as he puts them on, “Do you have a towel I can borrow?”

I point toward three folded into a cubby. “And take that bar of soap too.” I point to one of the half-used soaps on a rope hanging on a hook next to it.

“I’ll return these to you next time we…” Sejin pauses and uncertainty washes over his face.

“Next Friday?” I suggest.

He nods.

“I’ll be looking forward to it, Doc.”

After Sejin leaves, I sprawl back in my bed and feel something hard under my hand. I grab it and smile. The ball gag.

I can’t wait to see him again. I should have said Wednesday.

No, I should have said tonight.