Page 33

CHAPTER 33

Frankie

“It’s been over ten years since the last time you let me touch you,” Leo murmured, his grip on me tightening. “I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to touch you again.”

My cheek ached but I deserved this so I didn’t bother pushing him away. I just stared into those dangerous red eyes, knowing I couldn’t avoid this anymore.

I had to know.

“Answer a question for me truthfully and I’ll let you touch me however you want for three minutes so long as it’s not sexual.”

Leo tilted his head the other way, clearly surprised by my offer. “Ten.”

“Nothing sexual,” I reminded him.

He released me and held out his pinky. “I promise it won’t be sexual in any way.”

I eyed his pinky, hating how much I loved that he still made promises like this. “Six minutes.”

“Nine.”

“Seven. That’s my final offer.” I held out my own pinky and waited for him to decide, but Leo didn’t hesitate.

“Done.” He hooked his pinky with mine and we pressed our thumbs together in a silent promise.

Leo took my wrist and pulled me up, tapping in the four-digit code to my smart watch so he could set the timer to seven minutes. I didn’t ask how he knew what it was when I changed it every week, just like he didn’t ask why I wasn’t surprised to see him.

Then he pulled my arm around his waist and hugged me tight against him.

Somehow, he knew exactly what I needed no matter how well I performed. He’d used this chance to give me something I wanted but couldn’t ask for which made me feel even worse and my guilt was all wrapped up in gratitude and grief.

It made me feel like I was going to cry all over again but I swallowed it down and held it in. This was for him, not me. I refused to let myself hold onto him like I wanted to – as if I’d collapse without his support.

The bulletproof vest he wore was too thick for me to feel his heart beating which meant he couldn’t feel mine. I was grateful for that. And annoyed. This layer between us made this easier, but I didn’t want easier.

Leo wrapped me up in his arms and rested his chin on top of my head, keeping his promise. He just held me, nothing more.

It may not be sexual, but it wasn’t platonic either.

I’d let it slide this time because I needed it just as badly as he did.

Deciding to give up, I wrapped both my arms around his waist and squeezed him back.

“Ask your question,” he murmured against my hair.

The scent of sea salt and bergamot curled around me, soothing and comforting. I almost couldn’t bring myself to ask him my question when he was catering to me like this because I knew exactly how he’d take it.

Leo would see it as an opening.

But I had to know.

“Why does my father want your help and not mine?”

It shocked me when he sighed. That wasn’t something I ever remembered him doing before.

“And here I thought you’d ask me if I still loved you,” Leo muttered, his lips brushing against my forehead.

I smiled slightly, hiding my face in his chest so he couldn’t see it. I didn’t have to ask to know he still did otherwise he wouldn’t be stalking me like this.

“Lopez is trying to give you as much freedom as possible,” Leo explained, his hand pressing against my lower back so I was as physically close to him as I could get without crushing my bones. “Your father wants you to enjoy the life you’ve chosen.”

“And what do you think of that choice?”

“Do I get an extra minute for an extra answer?”

I almost gave in and smiled for real. “No, but I will give you a surprise.”

“A good surprise?”

“It’s not bad.” I didn’t rub my cheek against his chest, but it was a close thing. I dug my fingernails into his back instead and Leo let out a contented sigh. The psycho.

“I think your father suffers from the same affliction you do,” Leo muttered as he rubbed his chin on top of my head. “He thinks he can let his children do whatever they want without it affecting the pack and to some degree he’s right, but he stupidly gave you the one thing that ensures you’ll never really be free.”

Right.

If I became the alpha, I would never have the freedom to do what I wanted. I couldn’t do things that made me happy in case it negatively affected the pack.

I’d also have to live my life as a people pleaser since the opinions of the others in the pack meant I couldn’t just bond whoever I wanted or work in a field as dangerous as this.

Lots of people would love to kill the alpha of an entire legacy pack and if I was just wandering the streets, doing my job, I’d be an easy target.

“I’m no stranger to suffering,” Leo reminded me as he slid one hand up my spine. “So, I firmly believe suffering is worth it if you’re getting what you want out of it, but now I have to watch you suffer for something I don’t think you even really like and I hate it.”

His hand slid all the way up to wrap around my neck and I froze, wondering if he’d strangle me for real this time.

“I need you to figure out what you want.” Leo used his thumb to push my chin up so I was forced to look at him. “I can’t help you if I don’t know what that is.”

It wasn’t like I knew what I wanted either. Not really. Every choice available to me had serious, life-altering downsides.

“Do you want that boy?” Leo asked, the sanity in his eyes slipping away with every word out of his mouth. “Or do you just want to fuck an alpha? Whatever it is, I’ll give it to you.”

The scent of mint and bergamot grew stronger. His pheromones oozed out and jumbled my thoughts.

“Just give me a chance.” I flinched when Leo leaned down and pressed his cheek to mine. “I can be whatever and whoever you want me to be. Even if you need me to be an omega. I’ll find a way to make that happen.”

I believed him. If there was a way, he’d do it, but that’s not what I wanted.

“I could even let you keep that boy,” Leo whispered, his grip on me tightening until I winced. “He’s got pretty eyes and I’m sure I could learn to be…versatile.”

“Don’t—”

“Frankie, please . If you’re going to fuck someone, let it be me. I promise I won’t even be angry if you throw me away later.” Leo shifted, pressing his forehead against mine. “I swear I’ll be good. I’ll be a good boy. I’ll even wear a muzzle.”

There wasn’t a single ounce of sanity left in his eyes and my own was draining away with every word out of his mouth. I was throbbing all over again and the ache in my chest was so bad I thought I might actually cry.

This wasn’t the first time he’s begged me like this, but it’s been over a decade since I’ve had to hear it— see it.

Every time he did this it broke me and I nearly gave in.

I’ve always been able to push him away – to say something horrible and unforgivable, but I didn’t think I could do it this time.

My nails dug into his back so hard he hissed in a breath.

I wanted to give in. I wanted to give in so badly but my head was all over the place. I was still all fucked up about Soren and now Leo was here too, making it so much worse.

But when I looked into his eyes, I couldn’t be bothered to care. I just wanted to make that look of pure devastation disappear until he was smiling at me again with love shining from his eyes.

The way Leo looked when he let that love show…it was the most breathtaking thing I’ve ever seen.

“What if I do want that boy?” I arched an eyebrow and waited to see if that would get him to stop begging.

Not that Soren was a boy, but he was younger. It didn’t surprise me that Leo would fixate on that.

“Then I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he has a place at your side,” Leo promised. “But…does it have to be just him? Is there really no place for me?”

I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t keep hurting him.

Reaching up with shaking hands, I promised myself I didn’t have to have all the answers right now, but I could give him some sort of reassurance. I could ease just a tiny bit of the pain radiating off of him.

My alarm went off right before I could take his face in my hands, saving my ass from making another colossal mistake. Leo instantly released me and I forced myself to do the same.

I reached back and rubbed the nape of my neck as I tried to hide how close I’d been to crossing the line I’ve always been so careful not to overstep.

Before I did anything, I owed Leo honesty if nothing else.