Page 25

CHAPTER 25

Frankie

I stared at that arm for way too long. My brain just wouldn’t comprehend the situation even though I was well aware of what was going on. The dirt around me and the stench, plus the sensation of everything underneath me told me exactly where I was.

The arm fell from my lifeless fingers and I reached into my pocket for my phone. I had to confirm. I had to see it with my own two eyes to be sure because if I was back here…

I wasn’t breathing. I knew I had to eventually, but I couldn’t force myself to inhale. Not until I was sure.

My hand was shaking so badly it was almost impossible to turn the flashlight function on, but I finally managed it and nearly dropped my phone when I saw I’d been right.

I’d fallen into a hole filled with human arms and legs.

Turning off the flashlight, I slowly put the phone back in my pocket, feeling weirdly detached from the situation. I was panicking somewhere deep down, but all I could do was act like this was no big deal.

If I started to remember the last time I’d been— no . I couldn’t think about that or I’d end up freaking out all over again.

All I had to do was get out of here, just like the last time.

I looked up and saw the green leaves swaying in the breeze, promising me I wouldn’t be buried alive again if I could haul ass out of here.

Driving my knife into the dirt, I used that to pull myself up and reach for one of the roots but when I pushed up with my foot, my leg gave out.

Now my whole body was shaking. I was about to really feel the full scope of the terror and panic I was ignoring and I needed to get the fuck out of here before that happened.

Something was wrong with my leg, but that didn’t matter. I had to get out. I managed it last time. I could do it again.

I reached down and grabbed the knife in my boot, ignoring the spongy sensation underneath me as best as I could.

Driving one knife into the wall, and then the other, I climbed up, using only my upper body to pull myself higher and higher.

“James?”

That voice was familiar, but I couldn’t call out and ask for his help. If I didn’t get out of here on my own…I’d deserve everything they did to me.

One foot and then another.

“James?” He sounded worried now, but I was almost there.

Almost there .

My knife sunk into the top layer of dirt and I tested it before pulling, not wanting to undo all my hard work.

But I was starting to get dizzy.

I rested my forehead against the dirt wall and took in a shallow breath, feeling my stomach turn despite how careful I was being.

Nausea was building and I didn’t know if I could resist it this time.

I needed to get out of here.

Now.

Swinging my legs up, I pressed my foot to the opposite wall and shoved as hard as I could, pulling myself up at the same time.

“James!” Soren appeared out of nowhere and grabbed my wrist, pulling me over the edge of the hole.

We tumbled right into the ghostbeard plant, his words nothing but nonsense when my ears started ringing. It got louder and louder, buzzing until I thought my head would explode.

I pushed away from Soren and stared down into the hole, wondering if I’d made it all up but no, that was a hand. Her fingers still looked long and delicate with bright blue nail polish on her nails.

Oh god. I’d been down there. Just like last time. Buried with the dead in an unmarked grave.

Nothing more than trash.

My stomach lurched, but the spongy sensation and the smell lingered—I ripped my jacket off and threw it as far away from me as I could.

It felt like the smell was seeping into my skin.

I ripped my harness and tank top off next and then stood, but my leg gave out again.

“James! Jesus Christ. Are you okay?” Soren grabbed me but I shoved him back, away from the hole, and me.

I leaned over and puked my guts out, the bile triggering me just as much as the smell of putrefied flesh. I heaved in air even though it was the last thing I wanted right now.

All I could smell was sweet, rotting chicken.

I puked again, but this time, nothing came out.

That hole was full of decaying body parts and I’d been down there. They were touching me.

I tried to get away. I don’t know where I was planning to go exactly. Just away . I needed to scrub my skin raw and go somewhere no one else could see me until I got my shit together, but I didn’t even know where I was.

Large, warm hands grabbed my arms and suddenly I was being shaken so hard I thought I was going to get brain damage from the way my head was rattling around.

Then Soren came into focus and I realized he was glaring down at me.

No, I couldn’t handle that right now. I couldn’t handle someone being disappointed in me. It would be better if he were disgusted, but disappointed?

I couldn’t hold it together anymore. Not when he was looking at me like that.

My shoulders hunched and I didn’t even try to fight him. I didn’t have the strength right now. All I could do was hide and the only way I could do that was dropping my eyes, showing him deference to insure my survival.

“Frankie…talk to me.” His voice was soft and gentle despite how rough his hands were. “I can’t help if I don’t understand.”

My eyes felt hot, like I might cry, but this was another alpha. I couldn’t do that no matter how badly I wanted to.

“I want to go home,” I managed. It was all I could say even though it was the last thing I know I should be saying right now.

We had to report what I found and go through the whole questioning process?—

“Okay. I’ll take you home.”

I looked up in shock, not understanding why he would say that when he knew what we were supposed to do. Probably even better than me if he really did have a photogenic memory.

His grip eased and I flinched when he reached up, wiping something off my cheek with his thumb.

The shock was stronger than the panic and I just stared at him like an idiot even when I felt the telltale heat trickling down my face.

“Let me take a look at you first, okay?” Soren set me down on the ground right in front of him, but he didn’t let me go. “I’m going to check your leg and then I’ll take you home.”

My chest started heaving and I grabbed the straps of his backpack, feeling the full extent of the panic the instant I realized someone was actually going to take care of me – someone who had the strength and skills to make sure they wouldn’t get the drop on me when I was weak or my back was turned.

I couldn’t breathe. All this air in my lungs and I couldn’t breathe .

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” Soren didn’t look disgusted or disappointed. He didn’t even look scared or shocked. He was totally and completely calm.

Usually that pissed me off, but this time I found that psychotic calm reassuring and I pulled him closer when my entire body started shaking.

“Frankie…tell me what I can do to help.”

“The smell…” God, the smell. I turned my head away from him just in case I threw up again. “The smell isn’t even the worst part—it’s the sensation of their dead flesh on mine, just like last time. I—I know I’m supposed to deal with it on my own. I have to. And if I can’t…then I’ll never be good enough.”

I was starting to ramble, and I needed to stop, but the adrenaline and panic were scrambling my brain and all I could think about was how they’d held me down and broke my bones the moment I was alone. I’d turned my back for just a moment and they’d pounced, like animals.

“The smell feels like I’m being buried alive all over again and I can’t—I can’t .”

Soren didn’t say a word. He just ripped off one of his scent blockers and yanked me into his arms. One large hand pressed against the back of my head, forcing my face into the crook of his neck.

I tried to fight against him, struggling pitifully against his strength, but the moment the scent of patchouli hit my nose, I stopped.

Just like last time, I found the scent of his pheromones relaxing. The cedarwood wasn’t as strong this time, but the sweet scent of geraniums mixed with his sharp patchouli, tempering it enough it didn’t hurt my nose.

I inhaled deeply, gripping the back of his shirt tight, like he might just take this tiny sliver of peace away from me at any given moment.

This was definitely not the way things were supposed to go. In the back of my head, I knew that, but I didn’t currently have the mental capacity to care let alone do anything about it.

I was in the middle of nowhere, alone without a single member of my pack that I trusted.

Who did I have other than my father anyway? Leo? As much as I’d like to think so, he would use this moment of weakness against me, just like all the others, even if his reason would be completely different.

“No one can know,” I muttered as I dug my nails into his back. “No one can know about this. If they find out…if they knew I was a pathetic excuse for an alpha…”

I was starting to get choked up and the tears were soaking into his shirt.

Even if I pretended like this never happened, the evidence of it would be right there on his skin, proving I was a walking shitshow.

“No one’s going to find out,” he murmured against my hair. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Why? What was in it for him? Why wouldn’t he take advantage of this situation to get what he wanted? He was an alpha – at the very least, he should be using this moment to establish his rank and dominance.

I deserved it after all. I wasn’t even a real alpha. I was just putting on the performance of a lifetime and always have been.

Yeah, I was physically strong when I had alpha pheromones and I worked out like my life depended on it to make up for anything I might be lacking, but always having to be the one taking care of others and telling them what to do…

I enjoyed it, but there were times I felt exhausted.

Not that it mattered.

I couldn’t afford to be exhausted. I couldn’t afford to let someone else take care of me.

Fingers on the side of my neck shifted and I realized in a daze that he was checking my pulse.

“Your heart rate has calmed down and your breathing is better.” Soren pulled back slightly and checked my face with a concerned expression. “Can I take a look at you now? I want to make sure nothing’s broken.”

I searched his eyes, feeling weirdly calm. My head was buzzing and I felt numb, kind of like I did when I shoved everything down and ignored any emotion I couldn’t deal with at the moment, but this was different.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Soren released me to pull off his backpack with quick, sure movements. He pulled out a wet wipe first and started cleaning off my face. “You don’t seem to be bleeding anywhere, but I’m going to clean off any exposed skin, okay?”

“Okay.” I watched him wipe down my arms, feeling strangely docile. Was this the effect of his pheromones or was I just that out of it from the panic and shock?

He finished with my arms and then searched my face again, clearly worried.

Exhaustion overtook me and I couldn’t keep up the performance anymore.

My head dropped and my body slumped. The sound of my forehead hitting his chest was loud, but I didn’t bother to move or explain.

I didn’t have to do this by myself.

Soren would do damage control and I could worry about him telling someone what he’d seen later.

For now, I was safe.