Page 15 of Forgive Me Father

He takes in every drop of me, letting his eyes close as he devours the taste. I remain awestruck, somewhat seduced by how erotically captivating I find him to be in this moment.

The cross pressed to my chest feels like it’s burning my skin as he lowers his hand away from his mouth. Feeling empty and needy, I consider grabbing his hand and putting it back where it was. A throbbing ache tells me this hunger for more of him won’t go away anytime soon.

Roman helps me get the car seat upright before creating some space between us. My cheeks are flush, my gaze catching on the large bulge still threatening to burst from his pants. A spark of satisfaction zaps through me knowing he was just as affected by this as I was.

"I-I."

"You'remyaltar server," He says, changing the subject as if he didn't just finger fuck me seconds ago. "You start your service hours tomorrow." He shamelessly readjusts the strain in his pants, keeping his eyes locked on mine the entire time.

"You just-"

"And I'll do it again. That’s the last time that blade is touching your skin," He seethes, something sinful creeping into my mind.

"You swore an oath to God-"

"I am no stranger to temptation, Eden," He says. "And while my devotion to God is unwavering, I fear you just might become mygreatest sin."

Still trying to process everything that just happened, my body yearns to feel his touch again, needing more. The last thing on my mind is cutting. The craving to release myself in a different way awakens something hungry inside me I’ve never felt before. But it feels delicious and sinful, and I want to let it out to play with Roman.

"And if I refuse?" I question.

A smirk curls along his lips, his words send a wave of pleasure through me.

"I suppose that will make it more fun for me."

Turning toward me, he lowers his eyes. "I'm sure you know I can keep a secret?" He questions. "Because no one else other than me is touching you like that again."

Saying nothing else, he moves the 4Runner from where we were parked and drives towards my house. My center is still warm and throbbing with need, barely satiated.

For the first time in months, the desire for pleasure has outweighed the need for pain.

How the hell do I come back from this?

1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

Chapter 5

Roman

As I help her out of the car, she seems lost, her cheeks flushed with the remnants of the sinful pleasure we just shared. The memory of my fingers relentlessly moving inside her, the way her body responded despite her futile attempts to resist, is still fresh. Recalling each time I pushed deeper, seeing her eyes rolled back, her gasps brushing against my face, sends a shiver down my spine. The tension in my pants is undeniable, driven by a feral need to bring her pleasure—a need so overwhelming that no amount of repentance could ever erase it.

Seeing her in the middle of the road, so vulnerable and broken, staggering toward my car like that, her arms covered in those cuts... and thosenailmarks –brought me nothing but rage.

A rage I thought I had successfully suffocated long ago.

I'm no idiot.

The marks on her side tell a story of a fight she barelysurvived.

She masks the pain of what happened well, maintaining a detached exterior while retreating into the chaos of her mind, shutting everyone out.

As she steps out, her legs trembling, she holds onto me for support. The moment her flushed cheeks and plump lips purse into a scowl, I feel the blood rushing back between my legs. Her nervous gaze meets mine, and I can't help but imagine how she’d look with my hand wrapped around her throat, those pretty lips gasping for air –

"I c-can't go in there like this," She stutters, clearly still affected by what happened between us in the car.

The moment she touched the bulge of my cock above my pants, the line we’d crossed struck me like a frosty splash, and clarity washed over me. I’d broken the principles I vowed to uphold during seminary. This girl is a test from God, challenging me to see if the demons I thought I’d buried still linger. She ignites a fire in me, one I thought had long since burned out. As I look at her now, I see the sweet innocence others have already sought to exploit, their selfish desires threatening to consume her.

"My arms," She continues, "If my dad sees the cuts, he’ll kill me."