Page 10 of Forgive Me Father

Giving me somecomfort, I smile back, taking in a breath of relief.

Tugging at the sleeve of my sweater again out of habit, he observes the thick material, giving it a long look.

"It's kind of warm for this, don't you think?" He questions, pulling at the sleeve.

"It's about to rain," I say, a few droplets hitting the hood of the car. "It's fine."

I try to tug my sleeve back, but he keeps the material between his fingers as something floods his expression.

There's a shift in his eyes, the same shift I saw inhiseyes the night everything changed. A pit of fear settles in my stomach.

"Now that I think about it, maybe we did interact in high school," Zack whispers. "Was it junior or senior year when you rejected my prom proposal because I was a ‘washed up druggie’?" He asks, holding up quotations with his free hand.

"Zack, let go-"

I tense as he forces his hand under my sweater, the feeling of his hand touching my skin close to unbearable. I want to yell out to my brother, but I’m frozen. His hand viciously tugs at my sweater, trying to force it off of me.

"Aiden-"

"You know, everyone is curious why you were so bundled up all summer." I try to move away but can’t without risking him seeing everything. "You guys were fucking right! She is hiding something!" Zack yells to the others, my eyes seeing red as the sweater is forced up around my neck. I scramble to get away from him, slipping out of the sweater as my feethit the ground.

Stumbling away from Zack, I see my sweater clutched in his hand. I cross my arms immediately. The sheer white tank top is clung to my chest as the cool night air stings my exposed skin. Wide-eyed and confused, the boys move toward the back of the car towards Zack, watching me with varying expressions. Without the sweater, I’m unable to hide the mangled flesh working up and down my arms, some cuts newer than others. Zack and Nathan cover their mouths as they shake uncontrollably with silent laughter. Aiden remains still, his eyes wide with shock.

"Would you fucking look at that? Eden Faulkner, the once perfect little princess in high school, now comparable to a fucking beat-up chopping board," Zack laughs, my eyes peering down at the horrendous cuts spanning up and down my arms.

Shakily reaching into my pocket for my keys, I’m startled when I don’t feel them.

Twirling the keys on his finger, Zack smirks at me, his hand extended out toward Aiden and Nathan.

"I believe you both owe me twenty. Told you I could get that sweater off with one conversation."

Slapping a twenty in Zack's hand, Nathan laughs, my throat concealing a sob as Aiden reaches for his wallet.

"Y-You," I start, moving toward them, my vision lined with red. "You fucking assholes-"

Aiden shoves my chest, and I plummet to the ground, my ass scraping against the dirt and gravel.

"Thanks for the ride," He sneers, glancing at his friends for approval. "Find your own way home if you can. It’s not like you hold much value on your life," He spits.

Suicide was selfish and any act of self-harm was just as bad according to our parents, so while I wasn’t surprised by the look of disgust on Aiden’s face, the pain of his betrayal in the moment crushed me. Ignoring my quiet sobs, they get into the car as I struggle to stand on shaky legs.

"God damn it, Aiden," I yell, tugging at the driver’s door handle, but he’d locked all the doors by the time I was able to get to the car. I slapped my hand against the window, my palm stinging from the impact.

Opening the driver-side window ever so slightly, Zack tosses something out towards me. I recognized the frayed cloth just as the razor blade nestled in the fabric falls loose and skips across the ground.

"Have fun with that. You probably still have some clean skin somewhere," Zack laughs, latching his hand around my forearm, shoving me back down to the ground as he backs the car up to leave. The small droplets of water that once kissed the ground were now dense enough to soak through my thin shirt.

I watch as my car turns on the main road and they drive away, my scream muffled as water and dirt seep into some of my newer cuts. Forcing myself off the ground, I wrap my arms around my torso, glancing up toward the sky, as my hand fumbles to grab the cross around my neck.

Running my hands through my hair, I tug at the necklace as hard as I can, furious when I realize it’s not going to break. I feel around for my phone before realizing I'd left it in the fucking cupholder.

"Is this you?" I question, peering up toward the sky. "When will it end? Do I not deserve your grace?"

As usual, there’s no answer, leaving me to feel utterly alone.

But what’s new?

Chapter 4