Page 12 of Forgive Me Father

"That wasn't from today," I mutter, fighting back the urge to cry.

Clenching his jaw, he yanks his hand away, pressing his fingertips over his closed eyelids.

"Why the hell are you even up here?"

"Why are you?" I push, pissed by the authority in his tone.

"Your father said you were going to some lookout spot with your brother. I like being alone with my thoughts after Mass and wanted to see if it was worth the drive. Your turn," He hisses.

"Aiden... I drove Aiden and two of his friends up here to... smoke, after Mass.”

"Who were the other two?" He questions, not letting me finish.

"Zack and Nathan."

"From the congregation?" He bites out.

Nodding, I force myself to continue.

"They placed a bet to see if Zack could see what was under my sweater," I sob, opening and closing my hands. "He was being kind, and ripped it off when I least expected it-"

"Stop talking," Roman hisses, his knuckles white from how hard he’s gripping the steering wheel.

Several seconds pass, his focus on anything but me.

Eventually, his gaze finds its way to my arms. I expect to see judgment written across his face, but his expression is something I can’t quite decipher. Something like understanding mixed with sorrow.

"How long?"

"Three months," I admit, feeling as if this is the first time I've actually been honest with a confession.

"And the nail marks?" He questions. "When did you get those?"

I bite my lip as I swallow down my pride.

"Three months, two weeks, and one day," I say coldly.

He looks back out the window before putting the 4Runner in drive and pulling away from The Overlook.

The sound of the rain drowns out the silence between us.

I didn’t have to give Roman too much direction to get me home. My family name is well-known enough in this town, making it common knowledge where we lived. As we enter the gated community, I give him the pin, and the gate swings open. He parks the car a few blocks away from my house. The heavy rain makes it impossible for anyone to be out. He turns off the ignition and shifts his focus towards me.

"Thank you, but I need to clarify, my brother-"

"Should tread carefully," Roman hisses, my excuse silenced.

Shaking my head, I narrow my eyes.

"Aiden is easily influenced-"

"Is that not who the Devil preys on most?" Roman questions, the divide between the two of us prevalent in these moments.

He believes faith is the only path. I believe –well, I don’t even know what I believe in but it hasn’t been anything since that night.

"You can't blame the Devil when everyone has free will. Everyone has a choice in the sins they commit," I hiss, waving my arm in his face. "The Devil didn't make me cut my skin to cope with –”

"Do you enjoy pain?" Roman asks, his hand curling around my wrist. Watching him study the cuts, I shake my head.