Page 13 of Forgive Me Father

"I enjoy forgetting."

He glances up, his eyes piercing through me for a moment before he responds.

"You think this will make you forget?" He drags his finger down my wrist. My breath catches in my lungs, my body betraying me with a dull throb between my legs.

Fuck, what am I doing?

My house is just a few blocks away, I could just leave-

"I'll take other suggestions," I blurt out. His expression turns dark, something that sounds like a low growl rumbles in his throat.

Unlike Zack, Roman doesn’t treat me like I’m his prey. The way he looks at me comes from some other place.

Perhaps desire?

Maybe hate?

He glances down at my pants pocket, the small blade wrapped in thin cloth sticking out. When I see that he’s noticed it, I quickly reach down to conceal it.

"You keep it with you?" He questions.

"No I-"

Grabbing the cloth, he unfolds it before me. He nestles the blade in his palm, pinching its dull side while keeping my wrist firmly at my side with his free hand.

"Pain can be released from the body in many different ways. Some see pain as God's greatest test for strength," He pushes, holding the blade close to my wrist, my eyes growing wide.

"What are you doing-"

"Your plan was to lock yourself in your room and do this to yourself wasn't it?" He asks. "Tell me, do you feel relief in this moment?"

Watching him gravitate the blade closer, I turn my head away. He grabs my chin between his fingers, forcing me to look back.

"Watch," He urges, touching the point to my wrist. "If this is really how you think your pain should be handled, you won't mind watching."

I yank the blade away from him and lean over the center console, my anger wrapping around me like a protective blanket as I get in Rowan’s face.

"Fuck you," I hiss. "You're no better than them-"

His voice cuts me off in a low growl.

"Lay back," He snaps, no gentleness in his command.

"What?"

Pushing me back down into the seat, he reaches over me and grabs the lever to move the backrest towards the back seat. His face is inches from mine as I lay back, almost completely horizontal by the time he releases the lever.

"Relax, Eden," He snaps, looking me over up and down. "You asked for a suggestion, now I'm giving you one."

Feeling his body loom over me, I wait for the sudden urge to run away, but my body loosens instead, desire unraveling the tightness that had been constricting the center of my chest for far too long.

What the hell is happening?

"Give me your hand," He demands, my head already shaking.

"I'm not-"

Grabbing my hand gently, he moves it toward my stomach, letting it settle above my waistband. He cups the side of my face, elbow resting on the center console for support.