Page 53 of Forbidden Sins

ESTELLA

M y skin is still damp from the shower as I step back out into the cool air of the motel room, a threadbare towel wrapped around my body. I can feel the water droplets sliding down between my shoulder blades, cooling rapidly as I leave the steam-filled bathroom.

Sebastian walks past me, a towel wrapped around his hips in a way that seems indecent, even though he’s covered.

Just the sight of those deep lines of muscle disappearing into the towel makes me want to reach for him all over again, strip that small layer away, and spend the rest of the night learning every possible way we can give each other pleasure.

But we have to sleep, at some point. We can’t stay here too long, and we should have been sleeping two hours ago. Sebastian, especially, needs his rest for the drive tomorrow.

Still, I can’t help drinking him in with my eyes, every inch of his broad, muscled body.

He’s somehow never looked as dangerous to me as he does right now, his muscles gleaming damply from the shower, flexing as he reaches for his sweatpants.

My body is still humming from his touch, from the three orgasms he’s given me tonight, and I can’t help but want more.

I’m his now, and he’s mine. My first, and hopefully the only man who will ever have me. I feel a victorious sense of elation at the thought, a feeling as if I’ve won. Even if we’re caught, Vito will never have what he wanted most. That’s Sebastian’s now, and it always will be.

No one else can ever have it, and I’m glad for that.

“We need to sleep,” Sebastian says regretfully, echoing my thoughts from earlier. “We need to be on the road not long after sunup.”

I nod, wishing I could fight reality, but I can’t. This isn’t a romantic getaway—we’re fugitives. Vito and my father will be chasing us already, and if we stay too long in one spot, our chances of being caught increase.

If I want to run from the life that was planned for me—to have my own life—then we need to be smart. And we can’t linger for too long on the things we want, instead of the things we need to do.

I let the towel drop as I reach for the oversized T-shirt I was wearing earlier.

There’s no point in being modest now that I can see.

It’s not as if Sebastian hasn’t already seen all of me, as intimately as anyone possibly could.

I catch Sebastian looking at me out of the corner of my eye as I slide it over my head, and I press my lips together, hiding a smile.

“Do you think they can catch us?” I ask softly, and Sebastian lets out a slow breath.

“Your father and Vito will have called in every favor they can to try and find us.” He runs a hand through his wet hair. “This is an insult to them both. They’ll do all they can. But we’re not helpless. If we’re smart, we might be able to make it.”

I bite my lip, nodding. “I still can’t believe I did it,” I whisper softly. “I left everything behind and ran away with you.”

Something flits across Sebastian’s face, an unnamed emotion that he quickly hides. “Are you regretting it yet?” he asks wryly, and I shake my head immediately, crossing the space between us to lean up and kiss him.

“Absolutely not,” I tell him firmly. “The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. We should have left before my father could ever hurt you the way he did.”

Sebastian sighs, his fingers running along the edge of my forehead.

“Maybe I should have taken you away that night,” he admits.

“When he caught us in the rose garden. I thought I was doing the right thing by not tearing you away from your life. I thought we couldn’t win against him.

But now—” He gives me a small, tight smile.

“I have to hope that we can. Because I couldn’t bear leaving you there any longer. So come what may?—”

“This is what matters.” I touch his chin gently, enjoying the scrape of his stubble against my fingers. “Us. That we’ve made a break for freedom. Even if we fail… at least we tried.”

I kiss him again then, tasting the cheap mint of the motel toothpaste on his tongue. His hands slide down to my waist, gripping me gently there, and desire washes through me again, hot and sharp.

“We really need to sleep,” Sebastian murmurs regretfully. “I wish we could stay up all night together, but?—”

“I know.” I press my lips against his once more and retreat to the bed, watching him as he follows me, wearing only his sweatpants. “You look absolutely sinful like that, you know that, right? No one should be allowed to be that gorgeous.”

“That’s how I feel about you.” Sebastian slides into bed next to me, one arm sliding around my waist to pull me in close, my back pressed to his chest as he kisses the side of my neck. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman. And I’ve never been in love with anyone else.”

A thrill washes through me at that, and I twist slightly in his arms, looking back at him. “When?” I ask softly. “When did you know you loved me?”

He pauses for a long moment, and I can tell he’s thinking.

“I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw one of your paintings,” he murmurs quietly.

“You were in the sunroom, in this yellow dress that made you glow like you were made of light itself, and I couldn’t believe how talented you were.

That someone could make something so beautiful.

But…” He hesitates. “I knew I loved you the night I held you after Luis died. When you cried in my arms, and I knew I’d give my own life if it meant I could take the pain away. ”

I feel his breath against the back of my neck as he breathes in slowly and lets it out again.

“As your bodyguard,” he murmurs, “I always knew I’d give my life to keep you safe.

But that moment was different. I knew I’d die to protect you from any hurt, even the ones that aren’t made of bullets or knives. I knew I loved you then.”

“I think I fell in love with you when you asked me to tell you about the book I was reading, and you actually seemed interested.” I laugh softly.

“You listened to the whole synopsis I gave you, even though it was some young adult novel that I don’t think you’d ever have read on your own.

But I knew I loved you—” I press my lips together.

“I couldn’t admit it to myself until I saw my father taking you away.

And then I thought it would be too late to tell you. ”

I turn in his arms, facing him, our bodies pressed together under the warm weight of the duvet. “I love you, Sebastian Sinclair,” I whisper in the darkness, my fingers brushing against his face. “I love you, and I always will.”

“I love you too, Estella,” he murmurs, brushing his lips against mine. “And no matter what, I’ll love you until the day I die.”

—

We fall asleep like that, together, until Sebastian’s alarm wakes us up, a shrill sound coming from the burner phone he left on the nightstand.

He wakes up instantly, but I’m slower to come awake, groaning groggily as I feel him moving behind me.

He leans over, kissing me on the cheek, and I feel the hard line of his cock pressing against the curve of my ass.

I moan softly, arching back against him, and Sebastian laughs regretfully.

“I hope there’ll be a day when I can take advantage of how eager you are to satisfy me in the morning, princess,” he murmurs, kissing me again. “But right now, we have to go.”

He flicks on a light rather than opening the curtain, getting dressed quickly. I slip on the sweatpants and shoes I grabbed the night before, and Sebastian glances at me.

“We’ll get you some clothes that fit as soon as we can safely make a stop. But we need to put some miles between us and them, first.”

I nod. “I know. Where are we going?”

Sebastian hesitates. “I think California, for now,” he says slowly.

“Unless you object. From there, we might head to Mexico or Costa Rica, maybe. Somewhere that your father and Vito will have less sway. We’ll have to leave the States for that.

” He looks at me warily, and I can tell that he’s waiting for me to dig my heels in, to say that it’s too much. That I can’t run so far away from home.

“And then what?” I ask softly, knowing that it’s going to be hard for him to give me a real answer. One that has any weight to it, anyway.

Sebastian smiles tightly. “Maybe we can stop running, if we get far enough away. Maybe we can settle down in a beach house somewhere, and start building a life together. It’s a small chance, dove,” he adds quietly. “But we have a chance.”

“That’s all we need,” I tell him firmly. “Just a chance.”

“And to have that chance, we need to go.”

Sebastian checks the duffel bag, taking his gun and a second, smaller revolver out. He holds out the revolver to me, and my eyes widen.

“You need to be able to protect yourself,” he says firmly. “Don’t shoot it unless you have to, I know you haven’t had any practice. But if you need to, then point and shoot. Don’t hesitate if you know you’re in danger and I can’t get to you.”

I bite my lip, nodding as I take the gun. It feels strange in my hand. I’ve never even considered shooting another person. But I know it might come to that, and I need to be ready.

I made this choice, too. Now I need to do what’s necessary to live with it.

I hold onto the gun, careful with it as we head to the door. Sebastian motions for me to stay behind him as he opens it slowly, looking up and down the motel walkway and out to the parking lot before he deems it safe.

“Follow me. Let’s get to the car quickly.” He moves out, walking toward the car as I follow him. He tosses the duffel into the backseat, and I slide the gun down between the seat and the console after I get in on the passenger’s side.