Page 43 of Forbidden Sins

“Oh my god.” Cora’s eyes go wide. “Is this an arranged marriage?”

“It…yes,” I admit helplessly, seeing all three women looking at me with shock. “It’s a friend of my dad’s. Someone with who he has business dealings, that will help our family grow, especially after my brother’s death. My brother would have inherited the family business, all of that, but now?—”

“Why don’t you just inherit it?” Marilee cuts in. “Why do you need to get married?”

I look at her, feeling my heart sink. This was a bad idea, I realize.

Sebastian was right. There’s no way I can make her understand, not in any real way, or any of them.

I can feel the gulf between us opening up even wider, the difference between my life and theirs so vast that I can’t bridge the gap.

“My father doesn’t want a woman running the family business,” I whisper helplessly, feeling hot shame crawl up my neck, as if it’s somehow my failing instead of his. “So I have to get married.”

Marilee drops her napkin, waving off the server as he tries to approach to get our appetizer order. “There’s something between you and Sebastian,” she declares firmly. “I know how I saw him looking at you. That’s not how a bodyguard looks at someone.”

“There isn’t,” I insist. “And even if there was—it doesn’t matter, Marilee. I have to get married.”

Silence hangs over the table for a long moment. “This isn’t normal, you understand that, right?” Cora finally asks. “This isn’t how people live, Estella. You don’t just…marry someone because you’re told to.”

“I do, unless I want to lose my family and my inheritance.” I meet her gaze helplessly.

“I know it doesn’t make sense?—”

“It doesn’t.” Marilee presses her lips together.

“We’re not trying to be mean, ‘Stel…but come on. A few months ago, you were working on a thesis about the Renaissance for our senior capstone, and now you’re getting married to a man you barely know?

When it’s clear there’s something going on with this other guy?—”

“There isn’t!” I snap, instantly regretting my sharp tone when I see the look on her face. “Sebastian is my father’s employee. He’s a professional. He’d never?—”

But he did. My lips tingle with the memory of Sebastian’s mouth crushed to mine, the feeling of his hands on my body, his hard length pressed against my thigh. The memory is sharp, almost painful, because I know I’ll never get to feel that again.

Not with him, anyway.

I know I’ve lost the argument when I feel the heat crawling up my neck. My friends aren’t idiots, and I can see the knowing look on Marilee’s face. She purses her lips, letting out a long breath.

“I think this is a mistake, ‘Stel. If you needed a place to stay, you could crash with one of us for a while…just until you got on your feet?—”

“And walk away from my family just like that? My whole life?” I stare at her, shocked that she would suggest something like that so easily. “Do you really think it’s that simple?”

“No, of course it’s not,” Rachel interjects. “It’s just?—”

“When is the big day?” Cora interrupts, looking at the other two women with an expression that says she knows this is a pointless conversation, and she’s trying to keep it from going so far off track that the day is ruined.

Not that it matters. My life is ruined, as far as I can see. Today, going the same way isn’t all that surprising. And I guess Sebastian was right…I should have known that this couldn’t possibly make sense to them.

“Fall, I think,” I say numbly. “I’ll spend the summer planning the wedding. Vito said something about September. He’s eager to have it before it gets cold.”

“Of course,” Rachel murmurs. “Fall weddings are so pretty. And it can be so dreary here in the winter. Although getting away somewhere tropical for a honeymoon would certainly be nice in the winter.”

Marilee is still staring at me as if I’ve grown another head. “You’re really okay with this?” she shakes her head, reaching for her water glass. “ Really ?”

I bite my lip. “Things change. Priorities change. My brother—” I take a slow breath, wishing they could understand. Even if they won’t really be a part of my life after this…I still want them to understand.

“My brother was supposed to inherit,” I say softly. “And maybe I wish I could, too—just as myself. But that’s not how my family works. So I have to do my best, now that he’s gone. And that means accepting things that I might not otherwise want.”

The three women across the table share a glance. “Family is important,” Rachel says finally, looking at the others and then at me. “If it’s what you feel is the right thing to do.”

“It is,” I say, with a firmness that doesn’t feel real. “It’s a good thing. It will be a good thing, for me and for my family.”

I know they don’t entirely buy it. These three women knew me all through college, and even if there’s a big part of my life that they’re oblivious to—they still know when I’m not being completely honest.

“We should eat,” I say abruptly. “I have some other stops to make after, and I need to get back home before too late?—”

“Of course.” Marilee picks up her menu. “The perfect accessories for the perfect engagement, right?”

It’s impossible to miss the sarcasm in her voice. “Sure,” I say softly, and Rachel gives her a reproving look.

“We’re just worried about you, ‘Stel,” she murmurs. “You say this is a good thing, but you don’t seem happy. And we can all see the way you look at Sebastian?—”

“Don’t.” My voice sounds hollow even to me. “I don’t want to hear about that.”

Silence falls over the table again. When the waiter comes back, we all order, but even my favorite meal from this particular restaurant—a steak and avocado panini with a side of a summer berry salad—isn’t enough to bring back my appetite.

I pick at the food until the check comes, and pay for everyone’s lunch as I promised before we all retreat to the car.

“I’m not feeling well,” I tell the driver as we slide in. “I think we’ll just go home.”

The driver nods, and I see Sebastian cast a glance at me in the rearview mirror, a hint of concern in his eyes. He says nothing until all three of my friends are dropped off, and we’re pulling into the courtyard of the mansion.

When he opens my door and I step out, he shifts ever so slightly in front of me, making me pause. “Are you alright?” he asks gently, and I bite my lip, holding back tears with an effort.

“You were right,” I whisper finally, unable to fully meet his gaze. “They didn’t understand. It was a mistake to try to include them at all.”

Sebastian lets out a slow breath. “Very few people would understand, Estella. This is a lonely life.”

“And ours wouldn’t be?” I look up at him. “Always on the run? Always afraid, never able to get close to anyone else because they might be a target, too?”

I see a flash of pain in his eyes. “Estella?—”

“My brother is dead. My father is using me as a piece in his chess game. This is my life. You think we’d get a happily ever after?” I slide my tongue over my lip, tasting the raw spot where I’ve bitten it too many times. “You need to save yourself.”

I push past Sebastian, feeling the weight of my future settling on my shoulders with a crushing finality.

He doesn’t say anything, just lets me pass, and all I can do is hope that means that he’s accepted our fates.

That he’ll get himself out of here the night of the party, before anything worse can happen to him.

I walk up the stairs leading to the front door of the mansion, and as hard as it is, I don’t look back.

I just walk back into my prison and listen as the door shuts behind me, the echo ringing in my ears long after I walk up the stairs.