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It covers endless pain and torture.

But it now acts as a shield… a shield to protect me from the past.

After telling myself to act like a man, and to suck it up, I manage to finally get a grip. I inhale, sniff and apologize. As I kiss the head of the woman below me, I sigh, and whisper. “I’m sorry.”

We pull back, and we stand there together. The woman wipes her own eyes. “Nonsense, and I’m sorry dear. I’m so so sorry. I had no idea.”

“It was a lifetime ago.”

As we look into each other’s eyes, she uses a handkerchief and looks up at me. “So? First things first.”

“I love her, Martha.”

Martha gets a twinkle in her eye, and maybe, just maybe she can tell I mean it. “And… ”

“She’s the one.” I say. “I’d like to marry her, if… If it’s alright with you.”

Martha laugh-cries and finally smiles. “That’s very sweet dear. But it’s really up to her.”

As I nod, Martha returns to the tea. She pours two teas, and hands me one. “Are you sure? You can only do this once.”

“I’ll never love another. Actually, that’s a lie. I’ll always love you, and her.”

Martha smiles over her tea, and we both sip, and process, our eyes still wet.

After we talk for a few more minutes, Martha asks if she can call Storm’s mother. As I pace nervously in the living room, I look at photos of Martha and her own extended family.

Most are with Tommy, her late son, she has no other children.

Martha lost her husband in her thirties, and it’s really just her. My mind churns as I pace, and I feel nervous about the outcome.

Finally, Martha walks back in, and she crosses her arms. Our eyes meet.

“Storm’s mother is like me. She is rather old fashioned. She would like to know your intentions.”

I nod, trying to imagine what they both need to hear, and where this is going. I pace, and then stop. I finally notice Martha’s eyes on me. There is something she’s not giving away.

She then lightens, just before I plan my verbal pitch. “She is just nervous and protective, Lorenzo. You have my blessing, and I am sure you will have Storm’s mother’s, as long as you are honorable, and honest.”

I sigh, and start to breathe again. “What’s her name?”

“Her name is Florence.”

“Florence,” I say inhaling, and getting ready for the next obstacle. “Well, if it’s alright with you, I have a woman to find, and get back.”

“You do,” Martha says, her tea steaming under her wet eyes.

“Thanks,” I say, as I walk forwards. “You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to family, and I love you with all of my heart. I love you like a mother.”

Martha nods, and I know it means a lot to her.

Tears run down her cheeks, as she turns to a photo of Tommy. I take her tea off her, and I hug her tight.

Like me, she lets out a little pain. I hold her in my arms, as I think about Tommy. I remember him kidding around in my office.

I also remember teaching him to sail, and teaching him a few other things. He was younger than me, and the plan was he’d come work for me, after the military.

After another minute to ease our pain, and settle our energy, we pull back, and wipe our eyes. Finally, Martha walks me to her door, and she pats my arm. “It’s good to see you, son.”