Page 115 of Forbidden

As we watch the falcon eat the steak in the next room, it watches us. Storm and I lean on each other, and I hold her tight.

It gets me thinking about building a family.

I know nothing about that, but likely one day, I should. Being passed around endless messed up foster care families, gave me no sense of family. Or being wanted. Or being loved.

The only person who has ever loved me is Martha.

The woman who told me Storm is forbidden.

I shake the dilemma from my mind, and I hold Storm. As I look at our new family member, the wild falcon, I have no idea if I’m being messed with, or if the universe is playing with me.

Maybe, just maybe I attract the wild. Or we all, attract each other.

After two quietdays around home in the Hamptons, with walks on the beach, a long vet visit, plus two more doctor visits, we decide to keep the falcon alive, at all costs. The falcon will come back to NYC, and live on the rooftop.

But just until his wing works properly.

We decide to soon head back to Manhattan.

We were reassured Storm would get to keep all her once blue fingers and toes, and that’s good. Good, because I’ve become attached to them.

For whatever reason, the wild falcon is settling in fast, and it is not trying to rip out Storm’s eyes or nose.

Somehow, she can get close to it, and it does not attack her, unlike me. Maybe it knows she saved it. As long as he doesn’t expect me out of the picture, I’m willing to share my woman with the bird.

After we fly back to NYC, we watch the falcon settle in for its first night in the wooden kennel on the rooftop.

As it looks across the city from its elevated platform between two eagle statues, I shake my head at the odd universe.

Storm and I look on proudly, almost like a couple of parents. As the falcon cries out, and looks around the city, I figure we’ve done okay, considering.

“It’s kind of like having a kid,” Storm says, leaning against my chest and looking up.

I kiss her head, and then freeze.

“What?” she asks. I must have looked shocked, because her eyes grow big.

“Nothing,” I say, trying not to be a complete loser.

I walk slowly away, and I look silently across the city below, deep in thought.

I’ve never imagined, myself as a father. The idea scares the hell out of me. But maybe, just maybe it would work, with a stable gentle woman like her. I sigh and shake my head.

I then lecture myself, about change, and adapting. I’m already trying to get used to my fast-changing life.

It’s evolving fast.

Storm said what she said, as if we are innocent teens in love, and at some country river. Or we are some sweet kids in a diner, after realizing we’re pregnant.

She had not said it in a gold digger-like manner, or in a manipulative, way. She is perfectly innocent and I…

I’m messed up. I’m also closed off.

And because I’ve never had a loving family, and I’ve never embraced society, I’mbroken.

The only thing I’ve ever done, is learn how to produce entertainment. I’m little else, I am my work.

I’m broken, and Storm deserves a real man.