Page 46 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 11

Wednesday

I’d told the real estate agent that we needed a place that was cozy.

But maybe the concept was as new to her as it was to me.

Because the first apartment she brought us to was more rundown than cozy.

And the abandoned couch in the center of the room did not look comfortable at all. It looked like it was filled with…

My train of thought ended when a cockroach ran across the floor and Penny jumped. Yup. The couch was definitely filled with cockroaches.

“No,” I said firmly. “Next.”

“But we haven’t even seen the bedroom yet,” Penny said.

Was she serious right now? She was glued to my side like she was worried the cockroaches would carry her away. “I know you saw that cockroach,” I said.

She shrugged. “Isn’t New York City filled with those? I figured I just had to get used to it. Like when you go to Disney World and there’s all those little lizard things. Although…those are kind of cute.”

Get used to cockroaches? Fuck no. “No, Penny. You don’t have to get used to mouse-sized bugs. Or…lizards.”

Rob tried to push the curtains to the side and the curtain rod fell and almost hit his head. He dodged it right in time and Ian laughed.

“Not funny,” Rob said. “I was almost impaled! I don’t think I’ve ever been on this side of town, and I’m always down for something shady. Where the fuck are we right now?”

That was a great question. I turned toward the real estate agent. “Evelyn, I’m so confused,” I said. “You know my budget. There’s no way that this place is anywhere close to that. And you sent me a couple listings. This is nothing like the ones you sent over.”

“Oh. Well, Penny and I got to talking on our way to the car. She wanted something rent-controlled. And I kinda had to scramble because you can’t really buy something rent-controlled if you don’t have a family member already living there.

And my boss said she probably meant a place like… this. I’m sorry.”

I’d left them alone for literally one minute when we picked Evelyn up from her office. I turned to Penny. “Where did you even hear about rent-control?”

“Isn’t that what all the best places have? Like in Friends?”

I just stared at her. What was she talking about? “Which one of your friends?” I didn’t realize she knew anyone else in the city.

“The show Friends,” she said with a laugh. “Monica has a rent-controlled apartment because it was her grandmother’s. And it was so nice. I was kind of picturing a place like that.”

Ian handed me his phone to show me a picture of the apartment from Friends. This apartment looked nothing like that.

I shook my head. “I think maybe we should stick to the list Evelyn put together in advance.”

“I know this one was a bust, but let’s try one more,” Penny said. “Evelyn, can you take us to the nicest one you found for me?”

“Um…” She scanned her phone. “Yes?”

I didn’t love the way she said it as a question.

This next place was definitely not going to be better.

But Penny was moving here for me. The least I could do was let her choose a few places to look at.

Besides, she still wasn’t yelling at me about the fact that I’d been recording her for weeks without her permission.

We all headed back to the car.

“No need to drive,” Evelyn said. “The next place is in walking distance. Right this way.”

Yeah, this next place was going to be shit too. I stared at the rat hanging out the side of a dumpster. Seriously…where the fuck were we?

“Penny,” I said and grabbed her hand as we turned down a side street filled with more trash. “We don’t need a rent-controlled apartment. Or whatever it is we’re about to look at.”

“I know you can afford anything you want.”

“So…what are we doing here?” We were probably going to catch some kind of bug just standing here.

“If I’m going to pitch in with rent…”

“You’re not.”

“I might,” she said.

“You’re not,” I said more firmly. This really wasn’t up for negotiation. “You’re going back to school. You can’t have a job at the same time. I’d never get to see you.”

“Well, I’m not supposed to start until the spring semester. What am I going to do all day until then?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Except work?”

I smiled down at her. She was impossible. “I was kind of hoping to spend the fall hanging out just the two of us. Exploring the city together.”

“What about your new business? I thought you wanted to move here to get things rolling?”

“Yeah, I’ll be doing it on the side. Just like I’ve been doing now. But that doesn’t take up much time. Spending time with you is my priority.”

Her cheeks flushed. “Well, I’ll still need something to do when you’re working.”

“I have an idea. Maybe you could sit in on a few classes? Get the feel for the campus.”

“Hmm. Yeah, I guess that could work. I don’t know though…you probably wouldn’t be comfortable with me going to NYCU yet because you haven’t had a chance to install any cameras.” She tried to raise her eyebrow at me, like I so often did to her. But she wasn’t very good at it.

I tried to hide my smile. “Don’t worry. I can get Ian to install cameras there any time.”

“Ian helps with the cameras?” She nervously glanced at him and then back at me.

Oh shit. I knew telling her the truth about Ian a little later was the right move. But I needed to be a little more careful about it.

“I thought you said he was your driver?” she asked.

“Yeah, but he’s also kind of…an assistant. He helps with whatever I need.”

“Why did you never mention him to me before?”

I shrugged. “It didn’t come up .” I was trying not to freak you out. I’m still trying not to freak you out.

She leaned a little closer to me. “Do we really need a driver though, James? I really can take the subway.”

She was trying to make me live in a disgusting apartment with cockroaches and now she was trying to fire Ian? “He’s been with me for years,” I said. “Ellen and him are both like family.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize.” She smiled up at me. “Okay. He seems nice.”

“He is.”

“I might still ride the subway sometimes though.”

“You’re going to be the death of me,” I said as Evelyn opened up the door of the next apartment complex. Just like the last one, there was no doorman and no concierge. And the elevator was broken.

The five of us walked up eight flights of stairs.

“Why is it so hot?” Rob asked as he pulled on the collar of his shirt.

“The heat is definitely on full blast for some reason,” Evelyn said. “I’m sure that’s not an all-the-time thing though.”

Was she sure about that?

She opened up the door to the unit she wanted to show us and stepped to the side.

This one was a lot nicer than the last. Although the view out the one window was of a graffitied wall.

And it was even hotter in here than it was in the hallway.

It was a pretty nice autumn day. There was no reason to have the heat on so high.

I wanted to love it for Penny’s sake. But I couldn’t live here. It wasn’t cozy, it was fucking claustrophobic.

Rob tried to pull off his shirt, but it got stuck on his sweaty torso. He finally removed it and tossed it on the ground. “Throw some glitter on me, because I’m stripper-hot!”

What the fuck?

Penny laughed. “What on earth did you just say?”

Rob ran his hand down his sixpack. “Throw some glitter on me, because I’m stripper-hot.” He thrust his hips toward her.

I glared at him.

“I heard you,” Penny said. “But what the heck does that mean?”

“It could mean a lot of things. And I meant every single one of them.”

“Like?”

“Well, I’m as hot as a stripper gets on stage under all those light, so you should throw some glitter on me.

Or…I’m hot enough to be a stripper, so you should throw some glitter on me.

Or… I’m just fucking really overheated because of the heater in this shit apartment and if you threw some glitter on me I’d look like a stripper, because it would definitely stick to my sweaty skin. ”

Penny burst out laughing. “Okay, you guys win. I don’t want Rob to be stripper-hot. Let’s go see one of the apartments you picked out before, Evelyn.”

Thank God.

“You’re welcome,” Rob said and patted my back. “The thought of me covered in glitter made Penny want a nice place.” He grabbed his shirt off the ground. “Let’s get out of here, gorgeous,” he said and linked arms with Penny.

She laughed.

“I kind of expected her to yell at you about the cameras,” Ian whispered to me. “Or…do something. She’s usually pretty fiery.”

He would know. “I expected the same.”

“Do you think she’s waiting for the two of you to be alone to freak out?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea.” I watched her laughing with Rob. “I think maybe she’s just…happy.” I found myself smiling too. What was there to be upset about? We were in New York. We were about to start fresh.

“Do you think she’s like…into it?”

I really had no idea. I was kind of hoping she would be. She liked the idea of almost getting caught. A lot. And she really didn’t seem upset. She’d just joked about it. “I guess we’ll find out when we’re alone.”

“I guess we will,” Ian said.

I shook my head and climbed back into the car, making sure to sit next to Penny. I didn’t need her leading Evelyn astray anymore. Yes, Penny and I were a team. But I knew what kind of place I pictured. And it wasn’t anything like what we’d already seen.

Rob vetoed the next place because it was too cold.

Penny agreed.

Although I was pretty sure they were talking about different kinds of cold. Penny thought the atmosphere was cold and lifeless. Rob was just upset he couldn’t take his shirt off and talk about being a hot stripper.

Rob vetoed the next place too because the guest bedroom was too small.

“Rob,” I said. “You can’t just keep vetoing places. This isn’t about you.”

He pretended to look shocked. “I mean…it’s a little about me.”

“It’s really not.”

“Aren’t I going to be living with the two of you?” he asked.

Wait…what?

He laughed. “I’m kidding. You should have seen your face.” He laughed again. “But I will be staying with you frequently and giving you no advance notice.”

That sounded accurate.

“And I need my room to be twice that size.” He started walking toward the door.

“You mean the guest room,” Penny called after him.

“No, I mean my room. I’m going to put my name on the door. And this door does not deserve my name. Which is Rob by the way. Not Bob. Never Bob.”

Ian laughed.

Penny looked at me. “Why does Rob think I don’t know his name?”

I’d never brought this up to Penny before. Because the whole thing was really awkward. “It’s not about you. It’s about your dad.”

“What about my dad?”

“Penny, I think your father is really bad with names.”

Penny laughed. “He absolutely is.”

“Wait. You know that he is? Why didn’t you warn me about it?”

“He got your name right.”

“Yeah, but when we first met he was talking to me about football players and butchering all their names and I thought he was messing with me.”

She laughed. “No, he’s just bad at remembering names. Wait, and when did my dad meet Rob?”

“Rob and Ian were there when I got your dad’s permission to propose.”

“The three of you showed up to my parents’ house together?” She laughed. “I wish I could have seen that. If only I had cameras all over my parents’ house…” She attempted to raise her eyebrow at me again.

“Penny, I’m really sorry about the cameras. And for the life of me, I can’t tell if you’re upset or you just think it’s funny. Are you mad? If you’re mad, just tell me.”

“I don’t know…” she said playfully.

“Penny, just tell me.”

She leaned closer to me. “You’ll find out when we finally get some alone time. But I’ve always liked your eyes on me, Professor Hunter.”

Fuck. Me.

She patted my chest. “Now let’s go see the next place. Hopefully it has a room big enough for your brother and plenty of places for hidden cameras.”