Page 25 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 11

Friday

Sweat dripped down my back as I increased the speed on the treadmill. I hated running indoors. But going outside right now wasn’t exactly a great option either. And I just needed this tension out of my body.

I rarely had nightmares since I rarely ever slept. But it was easy to fall asleep when Penny’s head was on my chest. Her light exhales soothed something inside of me. She didn’t follow me into my dreams last night though.

I’d felt Isabella’s fake nails digging into my back. I’d felt her pulling me closer. I’d woken up sweatier than I was right now, gasping for air.

I still didn’t know what had happened that night she drugged me.

I didn’t know if the dream was a memory.

Maybe I was finally getting pieces of that night back.

But I didn’t believe I’d slept with her.

I wouldn’t have. Or…had I? I cringed. No.

It was just some new fucked up thing playing in my brain.

Or the truth. Fucking hell. I had no idea what was real.

I shook my head. That wasn’t true. I knew what was real. Penny.

But I needed to get my shit together. I thought I was over this.

What happened with Isabella didn’t matter.

I already came clean to Penny about what possibly occurred.

I just needed to put that night behind me.

Penny needed me right now. I needed to be my best self for her.

I could hide out in the gym all day, but she had to go to class. She had to face all this without me.

I’d left her a note asking her to text me so we could meet up for lunch. And telling her not to fall in love with her new Comm professor. But I hadn’t wanted her to see me after my nightmare. I never wanted her to see me like that. Weak.

I went to increase the speed again when my phone started buzzing.

I grabbed it and kept running. “What’s up, Ian?” I said.

“You have an appointment with Dr. Clark in an hour. Want me to drive you?”

“No, I’m good.”

“You sure? You sounded pretty shaky this morning.”

“I’m good,” I said again and started to decrease my pace. But he had a right to be worried. Calling him at 6 a.m. asking him to schedule an emergency session with Dr. Clark wasn’t exactly screaming that I was fine.

“If you say so.”

I kept slowing down until I was walking. I took a deep breath. “The workout helped actually.”

“So do you want me to cancel your appointment?”

“No, I should go.” I wanted to be a better man for Penny. And that meant seeing Dr. Clark on a regular basis. I wouldn’t be able to go on Sunday because Rob was visiting. So I needed to go talk to him now.

“You’re sure everything’s okay, James? You know I’m here if you want to talk.”

“Thanks, Ian,” I said and wiped my face off with a towel. “But if I talked to you about all my shit, you might quit on me.”

“Nah. No one will pay me as good.”

I laughed. Fair. “I should go. Thank you for making the appointment.”

“Any time.” He cleared his throat. “One more thing. You should probably check your email.”

I sighed. “Just tell me what it says.”

“The investigation isn’t going in the direction Joe hoped. Another girl came forward.”

“What the fuck?”

“All your classes are being cancelled. They’re just handing out As to everyone.”

“Well at least Penny got an A.”

“Actually she’s getting an incomplete. Joe’s pissed that she isn’t cooperating in the investigation.”

I ran my fingers through my wet hair. “And he sent all this via email?”

“Yeah.”

He didn’t even have the balls to call me? What an asshole. No one seemed to care about finding out the truth in this so-called investigation. They were making me out to be a monster.

I took a deep breath. But…wasn’t I?

***

“I thought you’d have a little more to say after Ian called my office ten times to get you this appointment.”

I stared at the newspaper on the coffee table between us.

A copy of the Delaware Post. I knew there’d been more articles written since that first one.

One announcing my resignation and the investigation.

For all I knew, the investigative findings were in that paper there. “You already know what happened.”

“I read the articles. But we both know that wasn’t the truth.”

“At least you believe me.”

“Does Penny not?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I hope she does. But I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. The dean is running this sham of an investigation and three girls have said I seduced them too.”

Dr. Clark nodded. “And how does that make you feel?”

“Pissed.” I shook my head. “Confused. The detectives knew Penny came to my office hours. They seemed to know everything that happened. But I don’t care what people think about me. I just want Penny to trust me.”

“You don’t care what anyone else says about you?”

“No.”

He adjusted his glasses. “Not even a little?”

“The article is all lies. But they painted me just right, don’t you think? So who cares how they got to that conclusion?”

“And what do you think the article painted you as?”

“The villain.”

“Is that how you think of yourself?”

I shrugged.

“James, you’re the author of your own story. You can be whoever you want to be.”

“Sure,” I said with a laugh. That sounded like a line ripped straight out some bullshit self-help book.

He leaned back in his chair. “Do you think Penny sees you as a villain?”

“No.” More like a sex god. I smiled to myself.

“Why are you smirking?”

“Do you not want me to smile?”

“Of course I want you to smile. James, you’re not a villain. You’re not the man they’ve portrayed in the article. Not unless you believe you are. And I don’t think you do.”

He didn’t know about the mantra I’d said while I’d been trying to stay away from Penny. I did believe I was a sick fuck. I did believe I was a monster. But…I didn’t want to believe that. “I actually didn’t ask for this appointment because of the article.”

“No? Well, how about you tell me about that conversation you had the other night after we got off the phone. You were going to talk to Penny about what she wanted. What did the two of you decide?”

“We didn’t get a chance to talk about what she wanted from her college experience. I found out the article was coming out and I was trying to do damage control.”

“What kind of damage control?”

“Writing my resignation letter…”

“You decided to resign without discussing it with her?”

“Before you jump down my throat, Penny already gave me hell about this. And I know I should have spoken to her about it ahead of time. But I was just trying to get ahead of everything. And there was only one option. I had to resign.”

“James, we talked about how important it is to be a team…”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Penny and I are a team. But she still should have trusted my judgement and let me handle it.”

“Why? Because you’re older than her? That doesn’t sound like the two of you are on equal footing at all.”

“But I am older than her.”

“Being significantly older clearly doesn’t make you wiser.”

I glared at him. “Touché.”

“So you resigned without discussing it with her. So…now what?”

“She wants to keep going to classes.” At least the ones that hadn’t been cancelled because of me.

“So the two of you are staying in town?”

“That’s what she wants.”

“But what do you want, James?”

“I want to be with her. Wherever she is.”

He smiled. “Interesting.”

“Interesting?”

“You’re putting her thoughts and feelings above your own. That’s very mature of you.”

“You’re acting like I’m usually a selfish immature prick.”

“I’ve never once said that.”

I took a deep breath. “So you think that’s a good idea then? To stay in town? Even though everyone here is a lying asshole?”

Dr. Clark cleared his throat.

“Sorry,” I quickly added. He hated when I cursed.

“Everyone?” he asked. “Really? Including me?”

“I meant most people.”

“If Penny did decide to drop out of classes, where would you like to move?”

“Is this a trick question? You want me to say that I’d talk to her about it, right?”

Dr. Clark smiled. “No, I’m just genuinely asking where you’d like to be if you weren’t in Delaware.”

“I’d like to go back to New York.” I didn’t even hesitate. My friends were there. I thought I’d never want to go back. I found the city to be suffocating. But…when Penny and I had visited for a day together? I’d felt like myself again. In my element. I was happy there with her.

“Have you told Penny that?”

“She wants to stay.”

“Have you told Penny that?” he repeated.

“No. I’m being the mature adult you know I am and I’m putting her wants first.”

“But your happiness is important too. I think it’s a discussion the two of you need to have. An actual discussion.”

“Hmm an actual discussion? So you’re saying I should just whisk her away to New York this weekend and buy an apartment?”

“What, no, I…” his voice trailed off and he laughed when he saw that I was smiling. “Hilarious. But no. Tell her that you’re excited about maybe starting fresh somewhere new with her. See what her ideas are of a new location. And you can tell her yours. Open communication.”

Yeah. But Penny wanted to stay here. And I’d do anything for her. “Maybe once she graduates,” I said.

“So you plan to stay here for another two and a half years doing what exactly? Talking to me?”

I laughed. God I hope not. “I’ve been working on this new security system.”

“Right, right, I remember. And you’ll feel fulfilled doing that here?”

“Really, as long as I’m with Penny I feel plenty fulfilled. She’s everything to me.”

“Everything is a very scary term to use, James. She’s an important part of your life. But she can’t be everything. You know that’s a slippery slope.”

Dr. Clark was wrong this time. Penny could be everything to me. She was everything to me. I took another deep breath. “I gave up my whole life to be with her. She is everything.”

“So you’re all in?”

I nodded. “I’m all in.” I’d come here to tell Dr. Clark about my nightmare.

Or memory. Or whatever the fuck it was. But I was done thinking about Isabella.

I was done with all of it. Isabella had taken her last shot at me.

It was done. I doubted I’d ever hear from her again.

I was ready to move past this. I was ready for whatever was next with Penny.

Here, New York City, somewhere across the Atlantic Ocean.

It didn’t matter where. Because I was all fucking in.

“I’m happy for you, James.”

I smiled. I was happy for myself too. My phone started buzzing in my pocket and I pulled it out.

There was a text from Penny: "Can you come get me? I'm at my dorm."

What was she doing at her dorm? I quickly texted her back. "Why aren't you in Stat? Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. Please can you come?"

“I'll be right there." I looked back up at Dr. Clark. “I gotta go.”

“You still have 30 minutes left of your session.”

“Penny needs me.”

He frowned. “Is everything alright?”

“I…I don’t know. She should be in class right now. Something must have happened.” I stood up.

“James?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember that taking care of her and being in a relationship with her are two different things.”

I wasn’t so sure about that. At least, they weren’t two different things for me. If someone messed with my girl, you better believe I’d fuck someone up so it would never happen again.