Page 81 of Flameborne: Chosen (Emberquell Academy #1)

SOUNDTRACK: Tonight by Secret Nation

~ DONAVYN ~

Two blocks from the tavern, there were players on the street. Fiddles and flutes rose to fill the air, a cluster of barmaids and passersby formed a ring to clap and jig. And even though we didn’t stop walking, I had the distinct pleasure of watching Bren dance.

She hummed along with the music, skipping her feet. When we reached the circle, she twirled on her toes, hands over her head, laughing.

One of the men caught her at the waist to turn her into the jig—but I caught her tension and the flash in her eyes.

I took his elbow and tugged her free before he’d even had time to pull her close.

When he turned, the scowl on his face dropped away as his gaze trailed up my chest, my uniform, to the fire in my eyes that told him in no uncertain terms, man-to-man, that if he touched her again, I would remove the offending limb.

Dear God, what was wrong with me?

Thank God, Bren didn’t notice my fury.

After slipping sideways out of the man’s grip she dropped her hands, but continued to bob and skip, smiling and humming along with the music as she skipped up the street and away.

Away, away, away.

I’d never wanted to get the hell out of the city more. I didn’t breathe properly until we’d passed out of its walls and onto the rutted road that would take us the half-hour’s walk home.

Bren was no longer dancing, but I’d never seen her so happy.

“I did it, Donavyn,” she said when we were alone on the road, hugging herself. “I really did it. Alone. No one helped me except Akhane. And it was my idea. ”

I didn’t want to burst her bubble by reminding her that the dragons were far sharper-eyed and minded than we were—which was why Kgosi had to give them the order not to offer Flameborne ideas during a trial.

But still, she had thought that up on her own. She’d studied the terrain, come up with a plan, and executed.

And almost executed herself in the process.

I frowned and kept walking, made myself keep my eyes on the road ahead—which appeared to sway slightly, because I’d drunk too much ale too fast.

She was here and safe, I reminded myself. And smart enough not to get shitfaced, even when her brothers were.

“Are you angry?” Bren walked right at my side, so close the hair on my arms rose because I would have sworn I felt the heat of her, though she wasn’t touching me. “Donavyn? Are you angry with me?”

I blinked again and clawed a hand through my hair, forcing myself to look at the road ahead. “Of course not,” I growled.

“Are you sure?” she said, her tone implied I might be lying, or she might be teasing.

I cleared my throat and braced, forcing my lungs to inflate when I looked down at her again. “I’m certain. I’m proud of you, Bren. Very, very proud. That was stunning.” And it said a lot about who she could become. And how much she trusted Akhane.

I’d worked with them long enough to know if a bond wasn’t deepening, it wasn’t the dragons that were the barrier.

The bond required intimacy to grow. If the Chosen human devoted themselves, the dragon would give everything.

If a human kept their heart and mind walled off, the dragon would be miserable.

The more a Chosen held back from their dragon, the more a bond struggled to thrive.

The fact that Bren was already prepared to throw herself off a tower and trust Akhane to catch her was worth celebrating. I should have heralded it. Applauded. Urged her to keep doing it.

Instead, I wanted to curl her to my chest and close my jacket around her like a blind, helpless newborn kitten found in the barn.

‘Kgosi, what the hell is wrong with me?’ But my dragon was too far away to be reached. I was on my own. I’d have to ask him later.

Except, with every step we took, the knot in my chest grew tighter. The urge to touch her, to keep her, more undeniable.

We walked on for another mile without speaking. Then, curse me, she was the one who had the courage to breach the silence.

“Thank you for caring,” she said quietly, looking up at me from the corner of her eye, her smile a touch uncertain.

“I’ve always cared, Bren,” I said. It was only true.

“Well, thank you for caring today . And for coming to catch me at the end. I’ve… I’ve missed you.”

I was being shown up as a coward. Walking in my sullen little panic, not meeting her eyes. God, I was a General, not a child !

Making myself look at her properly, I nodded. “I’ve missed you too. And I’m very proud, Bren. I’ve just been… busy.”

She nodded, but a shadow flickered in her gaze. The panic in me screamed louder.

Closer. Don’t let her drift away.

“I understand. I’m just grateful for any of your time,” she said quietly, turning back to the road.

I raked a hand through my hair and mentally cursed myself.

We spoke very little after that. I don’t know what kept her quiet, but for me, it was a battle with my body. The urge to touch, to take, to know that she was there and safe and mine and—

Where the fuck did that come from? Was I losing my mind?

When we were within sight of the Keep I desperately tried to link with Kgosi, but I couldn’t reach him. He must be out hunting.

Praying for this fog of panic to burn off, I walked Bren all the way to the stable, struggling. Antsy. An urgent drumbeat thrummed in my chest. A feeling I had no name for, so didn’t know how to combat.

When we stepped into the stable, Akhane wasn’t there and Bren jerked to a halt, frowning. “I wonder where she’s gone?”

“I wouldn’t worry. They’re probably hunting. Akhane worked hard today and I don’t think Kgosi fed yesterday.”

But Bren frowned. “She usually tells me when she’s leaving.”

It was instinct to put a hand on her shoulder, to comfort her. “She couldn’t have reached you, she probably woke from her nap and was hungry. That’s all. She’ll be back soon, I’m sure. They both will.”

Bren turned to look at my hand on her, then followed my arm up to my shoulder, then my face. When our eyes caught, something tense entered the air. Neither of us looked away.

She licked her lips nervously and I had to swallow a groan.

“Donavyn, what—”

Panic. “Congratulations on today, Bren. You were amazing,” I blurted, my voice hoarse.

Obviously off-balance, Bren blinked. Lines of consternation appeared on her brow, but she didn’t pull away. “That’s humbling, coming from you.”

I grimaced. “I’m just a man, Bren. I know the Furyknights like to make a fuss, but truly. I’m just a normal man.”

To my surprise, her eyes narrowed. “No, you aren’t.”

“I assure you, I bleed red and need sleep and—”

“That’s not what I meant,” she said, then her eyes widened and she tore her gaze away, her cheeks pinking so that I wanted to touch them and feel their heat.

She swallowed and the sight of her delicate throat bobbing made me ache.

I couldn’t take my eyes off that skin, paler than her cheeks that were never shaded from the sun and…

“I guess I should have that nap,” she said reluctantly.

Then she bit her lip and looked at the empty stable. “Or, maybe I’ll go look for Akhane. ”

Don’t leave. “Bren?”

“Hmm?” She went very still and I almost let her go. Almost forced myself to take my hand back, because when Bren went still, it was usually from fear. But this time, inexplicably, her tension felt different.

My heart swelled. Don’t leave me.

“Are you lonely?” The moment the words were out, I was mortified.

I’d meant to ask if she wanted company. I meant to share that I understood if she didn’t want to be alone.

But somehow those words came instead, and they hung in the air now, like an accusation.

“No,” I said hurriedly, putting my hands up when her expression grew horrified.

“That sounded—I didn’t mean—I was only thinking I could sit with you.

Until the dragons return. If you didn’t want to be alone. ”

She blinked. “Don’t you have a meeting with the King?”

Shit. I had said that.

“I lied about that,” I admitted with an uncomfortable shrug. Then I scratched the back of my neck to cover my wince.

But Bren’s eyes widened and locked on mine.

As her gaze grew rounder, my stomach plummeted. I couldn’t move. I was frozen, my guts twirling with nervous butterflies and the quivering kind of tension I hadn’t felt since I was a lad, still learning women and uncertain of every step.

I tore my gaze from hers and cursed under my breath. What was wrong with me? What the hell had happened—

Then she moved and instinctively looked back to her again and I was caged in those eyes. Round, staring, liquid… pleading.

“Bren—” I cleared my throat, my entire body twitching with tension as Bren stared at me like I was a creature she’d never seen before, and I had to decide if I’d be honest with her.

“I asked that because I’m lonely sometimes.

And, yes, I am a busy man, but not that busy.

Not too busy. For… for you. I just…” I swallowed and cursed myself as I tried to find the words.

“What are you doing, Donavyn?” she breathed.

“I’m trying to be honest with you.” I turned to face her fully, stepped closer, heart pounding. Her eyes grew even wider. But she didn’t back away.

She swallowed again. “You said last time you regretted—”

“I… what?”

“When I kissed you,” she said, forcing the words through her teeth, her jaw clenched—in anger or fear? I couldn’t tell. “You told me that you regretted it, and—”

“Regretted my actions , Bren. Not yours!”

Her brows pinched over her nose. “But, you said—”

“I told you that you didn’t misread me, didn’t I? That I couldn’t, even if I wanted to?”

“Yes, but— ”

“I never regretted you, Bren. I regretted the circumstances. I’m a General,” I rasped. “The Battle Commander of the Furyknights. I vowed I’d never confuse anyone with my intentions, or inappropriate… anything. I breached a vow when I kissed you and—”

“You didn’t kiss me, I kissed you,” she insisted.

I huffed. “Trust me, I was doing the kissing,” I muttered.