Page 61 of Flameborne: Chosen (Emberquell Academy #1)

“But your other option is to evade,” Ronen said carefully.

“While some of us fight best in frontal attack, others are more stealthy, or strategic. Or to fight from a distance. You have an opportunity in this exercise to show your intellect and planning. Instead of creating chaos for your opponents, you can choose to focus solely on your task, and strategically avoid conflict with others. It’s an entirely acceptable approach, and one that’s very useful for certain parts of our battle strategy.

You won’t be marked down if you approach the Banner Seize as a problem to solve, rather than a fight to pick.

As long as you show that you’re thinking.

Make your goals clear and achieve them.”

I gave that some thought too. “You’re saying, either fly aggressively and upset the others, or stay out of their way and get through it quickly?”

“Exactly,” Ronen said, smiling.

“But make the choice based on your skills and intellect, not what scares you,” Gil added with a nod.

I wished I wasn’t too far away from Akhane to reach her mind. I would have liked to know what she thought was the best approach for us.

“You can do this, Bren. I’m certain of it,” Ronen said quietly. “When the time comes for the Banner Seize, follow your instincts. Choose your path and stick to it.”

“Ignore their words,” Gil growled. I looked at him and he grimaced.

“The most common weapon in the skies are mind games. Most men use taunts and insults to get you riled up so you’ll make bad choices.

My advice is to fly as if none of them are there.

And if they get in your way, go straight through them.

They already know you aren’t scared to do that.

It’s an advantage you have. Use it,” Gil said with what was possibly the nastiest smile I’d ever seen.

I gaped at him for a moment, trying to adjust. Gil was quiet and steady. The kind of man who came alongside others when they were upset and tried to keep the peace. I’d heard my brothers talking about his ruthlessness in battle, but honestly, I’d assumed it was a joke. He was so calm.

But now, as he leaned towards me, his eyes bright with intensity, and his teeth slightly bared when he spoke, I saw it.

As they moved on to outlining the points system, how each of the trial segments would be graded, and what I could do to give myself the best chance of a good mark, I tried to focus, but my mind kept coming back the mental images of the flights I was about to take, and whether Akhane and I were better suited to an offensive strike, or an evasion strategy.

I was snapped out of my musings by the casual mention of a name that felt like the twang of a bowstring every time I heard it now.

“…and General Arsen.”

I blinked and looked at Ronen quickly. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t—I didn’t catch that last part. What did you say?”

Ronen gave me an odd look, but didn’t ask, just repeated himself. “I said, the assessors in the sky will be providing reports to the evaluators—who are Captain Gunnar and General Arsen. They’re the ones with the final decision on whether you’re passed and raised.”

“Oh.”

That comment should have prompted questions. I should have asked how best to impress them, or what I should avoid .

But the only words that came to mind were, will I see him? Will he talk to me?

I’d barely laid eyes on Donavyn since that day, four weeks ago, that he’d reprimanded the squad.

Four weeks.

I hadn’t spoken to him alone at all in that time.

At first that had been a relief. But when it became clear no one knew I’d kissed him, and he wasn’t marching around angry about it, when I was overcoming my embarrassment and could let an hour pass without thinking about it, I missed his gruff voice.

And definitely missed bouncing ideas off of him and having his help.

I grimaced. When I thought the word help, the images that sprang to mind were of those thick arms and hands hauling him effortlessly up Akhane’s side to grab hold of me and lift me so I could unhook from the safety strap.

Of his handsome face when he laughed—even if it was at me.

Of his somber consideration when I asked a question, and his quiet intensity when he encouraged me.

I closed my eyes as his words from that last, awful conversation came echoing back across the weeks…

“You weren’t wrong. You didn’t misjudge. The feeling is there and you perceived that. That’s my fault. I’m sorry. I assure you that I take full responsibility for anything untoward… But that doesn’t change the fact that, in no uncertain terms: we can’t.”

The pained intensity on his face when he spoke those words…

I hadn’t been able to get that conversation out of my head. It had tormented me the first week until I’d had to force myself to turn my mind from it because nothing was changed by reliving it.

It was becoming abundantly clear that I had crossed an unforgivable line.

The few times I’d seen him Donavyn wasn’t cruel or cold as I’d originally feared.

But he was distant. Cool. Professional. He treated me as if we hadn’t spent hours alone.

As if he hadn’t talked me through tears and rage.

As if he hadn’t helped change my life. As if… he didn’t care.

At first, when I was still embarrassed, I’d been nervous to run into him at the stable.

But since that day he hadn’t come for Kgosi at times when I was in the stable.

And the few times I saw him on the grounds, he nodded and kept moving, or if I was with the squad and he stopped to talk, he kept his comments brief and purely professional. And I felt it.

I’d grown accustomed to seeing his smile, hearing his encouragement, in such a short time. I hadn’t realized how much stronger I felt with him around until he was gone.

“…it’s a point system. You’ll gain points for maneuvers well-executed, for goals and instructions fulfilled, and for demonstrable courage. Don’t cut corners, Bren. If there’s a more powerful way to achieve the same goal, choose it, even if it’s harder.”

I nodded, scrambling to turn my focus from Donavyn to the upcoming trial .

“Don’t worry,” Gil said, patting my hand where I’d rested it on the table. “You’ve got this. One advantage to your slower training is that I think you’re better equipped for this. You understand the dragons and the officer’s expectations better because you’ve been around us more.”

“Because I couldn’t do necessary things,” I muttered.

Gil shrugged. “It’s all past tense now. And I know you’re less intimidated by the Officers than the new Flameborne.

Don’t forget, the others have all waited for this trial too.

You’re testing against the same Flameborne you assessed with and a couple more that were cleared before you. So, you’ve caught up.”

Maybe. Everyone had been held to wait until this trail, but that didn’t mean they hadn’t been ready earlier. “Well, I’m about to find out, aren’t I?” I said nervously and tried to smile. But the flutters were climbing from my belly into my throat.

“Don’t forget, we’ve done this, Bren,” Ronen added gently. “We know what’s involved. And we’re telling you, you’ve got what it takes. I wouldn’t throw you to the wolves. I signed you up for this Trial because I knew you were ready.”

My eyes stung as I thanked them both. They didn’t act like training me was a burden. And I really believed that they believed in me.

Today we’d find out if they were fools to do so.

One thing Donavyn had been right about—that reprimand and the instructions for sticking closer and keeping them informed about what I was doing had drawn us closer together.

I’d assumed they’d want to be around me even less after that.

But that night I’d found out they were angry with me, but it was because they were upset that I told Donavyn they wouldn’t care.

They were hurt.

After that meeting, they hadn’t just become more attentive to my schedule, they were inviting me to lounge with them after the dinner meal when they weren’t on patrol. We shared more meals. I’d even been to the taverns with them once, though it was during the day and no one drank very much.

I’d learned that Einar loved to read as much as I did, and we’d exchanged books, though he found mine a little too colorful, he said, which I took to mean, too romantic.

I’d learned that Jhoare was a quiet charmer. The others called him Whore more than anything else. And he didn’t mind. But I hadn’t seen him with a single woman, so I still didn’t understand the reference.

Oros was a gentle giant who reminded me of a male version of Akhane—encouraging and strong, but not to be trifled with.

I had come to understand that Ronen turned a blind eye to pranks, but not to cruelty. That Gil had a wicked sense of humor, but you had to be close to him because he generally murmured his comments quietly so they’d be missed by anyone who wasn’t at his side .

Voski was the coldest of my brothers and still an enigma to me. But he adored making Harle squirm and looked for any opportunity to take a dig at him—sometimes to the point that Ronen grew sharp with him.

And Harle was like a puppy. Cute and full of boundless energy, but sometimes deflated when others didn’t share his excitement.

They were all complex, capable men that I didn’t fully understand. But I liked them. And couldn’t quite believe that they liked me, as well.

“…I think that’s everything. Do you have any more questions before we go, Bren?”

Ronen and Gil both looked at me expectantly. I opened my mouth, but the truth was, most of my questions were ones they couldn’t answer.

“I think I’m ready.” I sprang to my feet, nervous energy suddenly radiating to my limbs. But as I was about to step away from the table, Gil caught my elbow and shook his head.

I stopped, only to find Ronen walking around to come stand at my side.

With both of them looming over me, the fear coiled in my guts, but to my surprise, Ronen lifted a hand to place on top of my head, closed his eyes and dropped his chin.

“May the Creator guide you in your day of trouble,” he murmured.

I stopped breathing as a strange, tingling feeling started on my scalp and trickled down the back of my neck.

“May he carry you in his arms, and sustain you with His power. May he give you what your heart desires and show the world your whole purpose. Let us all join and shout for joy when you raise the banner for truth, honor, and wisdom. Amen.”

I was touched. “Thank you,” I breathed.

Ronen flashed me a grin. “Now get out there and make them shit their pants, Kearney.”

I snorted. “I’ll do my best.”

There was a moment, half an hour later, when we walked out to the launch hollow, Akhane and I at the front with Ronen and Gil and their dragons behind, and the rest following, that I think I felt the true unity of a squad for the first time.

I did not walk alone. And even though I knew that in theory I never had been since I was Chosen and assigned to Seventh Squad, I felt them with me then.

It was still dark outside and the air was cold, and here I was in the very same launch hollow where I’d seen Ronen and Ekko that first morning when I was looking for Ruin. But even as I skittered away from thoughts of Ruin, the surreal power of being here as one of them didn’t leave me.

Just months ago, I was small, weak, tired, and hunched in the trees across the clearing, watching a magical creature emerge. Now it was me walking alongside my dragon in the early dawn light, smoke and steam rising in thin tendrils from her nostrils.

My skin still tingled from Ronen’s blessing, and I found myself beaming as we entered the launch hollow and started down the slope to its bottom where many men and dragons were already gathered .

I felt full. Satisfied. Ready.

May the Creator carry you in his arms, and sustain you with His power. May he give you what your heart desires and show the world your whole purpose.

Yes. Yes.

Help me. Show them my whole purpose.

Please!