Page 56 of Flameborne: Chosen (Emberquell Academy #1)

~ brEN ~

‘Little Flame… Bren? Wake up. I have a message.’

I opened my eyes and rolled over in my narrow bed, groaning when even the small sliver of light around the door into the stable pierced like blades. Clapping hands over my eyes and massaging my forehead, I tried to settle the roiling in my stomach.

What the hell happened? Why did I feel sick?

Unfortunately, the answers rushed in.

The flight assessment.

The roll.

Saul.

His brothers.

The man in the bar.

Donavyn…

“Oh shit,” I whispered, then swallowed hard as a wave of nausea rose in my throat.

Donavyn standing over me in the alleyway in the city.

Donavyn piggy-backing me to the Reach.

Donavyn in the stable.

A creeping sense of dread bubbled in my already churning stomach.

Donavyn talking, complimenting me. Donavyn staring. Those eyes… sweet words… concern… My hand on his chest. And it felt safe.

I never feel safe anymore.

But the memories kept coming, and with them, my horror grew.

My hand in his hair.

My lips on his and his on mine and —

“Oh, shit, Akhane!” I gasped and sat up to find myself still fully clothed and in the same shirt and leathers I’d worn the night before. Head spinning and aching, stomach roiling. “Akhane, what do I do?!”

‘Drink water and eat breakfast. But do so quickly. You have class this morning. You’re going to be late.’

I went utterly still. I’d forgotten about that. Shit!

A string of colorful curses spewed from my lips—my brothers had rubbed off on me—as I rolled to my feet, pleading with God to give me a valid reason not to go.

My heart thumped too fast and my pulse banged like a drum in my aching skull as I stripped off the sticky clothes from the night before, refusing to look too closely at some of the spots and grime on my shirt.

Then, with shaking hands, I poured water into the basin in the corner and splashed it on my face. But I was reeling.

Class was usually brief—a chance for Ronen to instruct me, and my brothers to share their experience. But the idea of walking into a closed-in room with all of them after that night…

My lips burned—and so did my cheeks. With shame.

They’d know. They’d see it on me.

I shook my head and splashed the water on my chest and armpits and any other part I could reach, trying desperately to wash off the awful, sticky unease that coated my skin. But I couldn’t shake it off.

They’ll know. Or maybe they already heard. What if they were waiting to tell me I was kicked out, just when I would have been able to fly?!

Bone-deep disappointment braided with fury, knotting tight in my chest.

I gripped the side of the washbowl and tried to breathe as my mind filled with images I didn’t want to see and I scrambled for ways to explain what had happened and how it was nothing.

But my heart refused to accept the lies.

I’d been broken in that alleyway last night, frozen. Unable to move. And he appeared. He ordered, and planned, and protected me. I’d felt taken care of. Like someone else was watching and would shield me if danger arrived.

Then he got me back here and he was so… earnest.

Donavyn standing over me, the plea in his gaze, the soft words and searching eyes locked on mine. Such an anathema to the growling authority…

When I ran out of water, I dried off quickly with the towel, then reached for the clean set of clothes hanging off the hook on the wall. As I pulled the shirt over my head, it all came flooding back.

I grabbed him. He spoke kindly and there was a punch of feeling in my belly. Need, hot and frantic, blooming because his gentle words reached inside me and my chest expanded—

I’d seen Ruin when he was earnest. I knew when a man was revealing his heart, I recognized the pleading, the intensity in his eyes. I knew what it meant .

Or, did I?

Clearly I didn’t fucking know! Because I had grabbed Donavyn and kissed him. And he kissed me back. Yet, I’d barely sunk into his chest, barely enjoyed the taste of his tongue before he’d broken us apart and stumbled away from me like I’d poisoned him. Eyes wide with horror.

Donavyn.

The General.

Our Commander .

“Oh no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Akhane…”

‘You must hurry, Bren.’

‘I can’t.’ My teeth were chattering, but not from cold. ‘I can’t. I can never leave this room again. Ever.’

‘Don’t be silly—’

‘Akhane, you don’t understand. I live here now. You have to ask the dragons to bring me food, because I can never show my face outside of this room ever again.’

‘Bren, you’re being childish. And you’re going to be late. Don’t make your brothers wait. They worked late last night and have to return to patrol later—’

Shirt untucked and barefoot, I hurried to the door, cracking it open and peering out to find Akhane standing not far away, staring at me with a mother’s chiding in her eyes.

“Where’s Kgosi?” I asked her in a breath.

‘He left with Donavyn hours ago. Now you must—’

I shook my head and shrank back into my room. “I can’t go out there—”

Her nostrils narrowed with disapproval. ‘You have no choice. You’re to be a Furyknight. There is only one way to do that. Out here.’

“But, you don’t understand—”

‘I do, Bren. But nothing has changed. You must go. Now. What passed with Donavyn is a problem for another day. This is for your squad brothers and they are your responsibility. Don’t fail them. Not when you’ve finally been cleared to fly.’

Cleared? Sure. But not for long. Not after this came out.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to slam the door in her face and pout like a child. Instead, I swallowed hard. “Do they know? My brothers? Do they know what happened last night?”

‘I don’t know.’

I clawed a hand through my hair. ‘Did you tell anyone?’

Akhane’s head reared back. Her nostrils pinched and she snorted plumes of smoke. My already roiling stomach sank, because I could feel the offense in her.

‘Dragons do not gossip about their riders!’ she snipped in my head.

“I’m sorry, Akhane. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I only thought—"

‘Go, Bren. The feelings will fade once you have faced what makes you afraid. But until you do, it will torment you. ’

“But—”

Akhane made a low, rumbling noise of disapproval and planted her foot a step closer to me, her head tilting to meet my eye with hers.

‘Bren, do you wish to let this steal your future? Do you truly believe Donavyn would humiliate you publicly? He’s a better man than that. He proved that last night, did he not?’

“A better man than me, anyway,” I muttered.

‘Then there is no excuse. Go.’

I stood a moment longer, staring at her, but she only stared back, that rigid sense of bristling disapproval coming in waves through the bond.

I’d hurt her.

I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Akhane,” I said quietly.

‘If you truly are, please go. Show them that you’re grown up enough to face even the awful things.’

‘Can we go fly another roll and have my arm sliced open again instead?’

I felt her soften a hair, and she huffed once. But she didn’t back away. ‘No, Bren. Even when things are hard, you must do what is right. It is what Furyknights do.’

I dragged my feet getting my boots on and peeked out the door to make sure Kgosi and Donavyn hadn’t returned before scuttling through the stable, then leaning around the corner of the door to make certain they weren’t there, either.

Then I practically ran. I didn’t have much time before I was supposed to be in class, but if I didn’t get some food into my stomach quickly, I would heave bile all over my brothers—yet another reason for them to despise me.

So, I trotted into the dining hall and begged a cheese and ham roll from the cooks, then choked it down as I half-walked, half-ran to the main building.

The first time I entered this building it was with him. His upright posture marching ahead of me—his voice firm but gentle. He pointed out the history of the place and—

I turned from those memories and ran.

Our squad’s classroom wasn’t in that awe-inspiring, obsidian building Donavyn had shown me the first day.

But while the side buildings were less fancifully formed with fewer eaves and no carvings on the corners, they were still made of that dragon-flamed stone and stood in black, gleaming rows behind the main Academy.

When I reached the room on the fourth floor, I was relieved not to have run into Donavyn, but as I hurried into the space that looked like a cross between a school room and the chambers for a war council, my body tensed again as my brothers all turned to look at me in the doorway.

They knew .

No one said a word at first—then Ronen quirked one brow in a question and I realized they stared because I’d gone still in the doorway and they were waiting for me to enter.

Voski raised his chin to me when I passed him in the aisle between desks to take the desk behind him. Harle grinned as I sat down and Gil murmured my name. The others raised their hands in greeting. I smiled awkwardly, then heaved myself onto a stool.

Everything in the classrooms was too big for me. The only seats at the tall, dark tables were stools so tall I had to hop to get up, and my feet dangled when I got my ass properly into the seat. Once I was perched there, Ronen clapped for attention and everyone went quiet.

I must have looked worse than I thought, because as Ronen called for our attention, Voski leaned back, over my table and whispered, “I’ve got a recipe for hangovers. Come see me after patrol and I’ll write it down for you. Fix you right up.”

He didn’t smile or wink, or anything. But when I thanked him, he nodded once, then turned back to face Ronen. But I was uneasy. For him to have offered the cure, he must have known I’d been drinking the night before.

Oh no. They knew.

I wanted to weep. Then I wanted to sink into the floor. My hair was down because I hadn’t taken the time to braid it, so I let it fall to hide my face and tried to keep my eyes down on my desk.