Page 8 of Finding Forgiveness

I shake my head in disgust. Hours have passed since their daughter tried to take her own life; I can’t believe neither of them has bothered to come and see her. Their parenting has always been questionable, but this … those two have a lot to answer for.

“I’m going to speak with the nurses.”

I head further down the corridor until I reach the nurses’ station. “Hi,” I say to the woman sitting behind the desk with her head buried in a chart.

She looks up, and a kind smile curves her lips. “Hi, can I help you with something?”

“Yes, I’m here to see Cassandra Lewis.”

“Are you family?”

“Yes.” I roll my lips as I form the lie in my head. I’ve always prided myself on my honesty, but there’s nothing I won’t say or do for a chance to see her. “She’s my fiancée.”

I feel a hand come to rest on my back, and when I turn, I find my mum standing there. “Connor.”

“Mum.”

“I saw you through the window.” She gestures behind her and when my eyes dart in that direction my legs almost give out from underneath me. There behind the glass lies Cassie, and she’s barely recognisable behind all the tubes.Fuck.I don’t know what I was expecting to see, but it wasn’t this.

My mum obviously senses my distress, because her arms instantly slide around my waist. It kills me to see her like this. My throat clogs, and I feel tears sting the back of my eyes as I break away from her embrace and approach the window.

“Look at her, Mum,” I say, my voice cracking.

She comes up behind me and rubs her hand over my back. “I know, sweetie. She hasn’t regained consciousness yet, but the doctor assures me that her vitals are continuing to improve. That’s a really good sign.”

“I should’ve been more insistent with her before she left Sydney. I should’ve made her stay.”

“You can’t blame yourself for this … you weren’t to know this was going to happen.”

Those words have my stomach lurching because I knew things weren’t right with her …I fucking knew it, hence why I tried so hard to get her to stay. It’s why I kept checking up on her after she left … that and the fact that I’m partly responsible for her fallout with Jacinta. I should’ve tried harder, or better still, I should’ve kept my hands to myself.

I even expressed my concern for Cassie to my sister this morning when she came to the apartment, but I left it too late. The damage was already done.

“I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t pull through, Mum.”

“You care about her, don’t you?”

“I love her. I’ve loved her for years.”

“When you were younger, I had a feeling there was more than just a friendship going on with the two of you.”

“You did?” I ask, turning my face to meet hers.

“I was right, wasn’t I?”

“Yes.” My voice cracks as I bow my head. “She was the one that got away.”

“She was young, Connor … you both were.”

“We were,” I say, but even back then, I knew she was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

“Why don’t you go and sit with her for a while, and I’ll go and check on your dad.”

“Why don’t you and Dad go home? I have no plans to leave until I know she’s going to be okay.”

“We might hang around for a while, just in case you need us.”

“You don’t have to.”