Page 17 of Finding Forgiveness

“What’s she done now?”

“What hasn’t she done would be a better question.” I push my head further back into the pillow and sigh. I can’t do this right now. “I’m not ready to talk about it.” I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to open that can of worms.

“It’s okay,” she says, reaching up to stroke my hair. “Connor wants you to come back to Sydney with us when you’re well enough to travel.”

“He does?”

Why does that make my silly little heart beat faster? I’ll admit I was equally shocked and thrilled when I woke to find him sitting beside my bed, but I played it cool. Over the years, I’ve mastered the art of acting unaffected by him. He was the last person I expected to find here, but it just speaks volumes about the kind of man he is. I’ve treated him so poorly, but he was still here for me regardless. I lucked out when I lost him.

“We both want you to come back with us.”

“I wish I could, but there’s no way my mum would agree to that.”

“Fuck your mum. She doesn’t deserve your loyalty.”

She’s got that one right, but it’s not my loyalty she’s getting, it’s my compliance. “Can we talk about something else?” I ask as I feel my emotions bubble to the surface.

“Of course, but when you are strong enough, we’re going here again. I can’t in good conscience sit around and watch you spiral further. I want to help you, but I can’t if I don’t know what’s going on inside.”

This is why I love this woman so much. When tears of gratitude rise to my eyes and begin to cascade down my cheeks, Jacinta reaches up to wipe them away, and that’s when I notice the huge rock on her finger. “What the fuck is this?” I snap, grasping hold of her wrist.

“You mean this?” she casually answers, twisting her hand around until it’s facing me and wiggling her fingers.

“Yes that,” I say, narrowing my eyes.

“It’s my engagement ring.”

She’s engaged?

“When did this happen?”

“The day I found you bouncing on my brother’s dick.”

“Yikes,” I say, grimacing. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“You’ll be even sorrier when you receive my therapy bill.”

I roll my lips to hide my smile. I can’t even articulate what it means to have her here. If something positive can come out of this clusterfuck I find myself in, it’s the fact that I haven’t lost her too. I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it. I’m still trying to get over losing the other Maloney.

“Does this mean we’ll be planning a wedding in the future?”

“Probably sooner than you think. Mason’s already putting pressure on me to get married.”

“I better be your matron of honour, biatch.”

“There’s no one else I’d want by my side.”

My mother has forbidden me from going back to Sydney, but there’s no way I’ll miss my BFF’s wedding.

My body stiffens the moment I hear her voice. “Jacinta,” she says, “would you mind giving my daughter and me a moment in private?”

My grip on Jaz’s hand tightens as both of our heads swing in her direction. I don’t want to be left alone with this woman. The two of us are still lying side by side on my bed and I’m grateful when my best friend doesn’t budge. Instead, her gaze moves to me and we’re so in sync that no words are needed.

She gives me a look that clearly conveys,“Do you want me to leave?”

My silent reply is,“No.”

Jacinta then turns her attention back to my mother. “I think I’ll stay, Mrs Lewis.”