Page 22 of Finding Embers and Stars (Twin Flames Duet #1)

Chapter twenty-two

M y mind wanders all through breakfast. I struggle to focus on anything other than Walker’s kiss. Because… wow. He blew my mind. I’ve read in books that an older, more experienced man knows what he’s doing. But if that was Walker fumbling around, he might just kill me when he knows what he’s doing.

After eating, we decide to have a lazy day and hang around the house. Sage suggests swimming since we usually go for a swim daily, and we head to our rooms to change while the guys head home to get swim trunks and anything else they might need for the day.

Yesterday when Wyatt ran back, all he picked up was sleep clothes for the guys and Milo’s breakfast tea. It’s a good thing Sage drinks coffee because if she didn’t, there wouldn’t have been any in the house for them.

I change into my swimsuit and pull on a pair of jean shorts over it. I searched for weeks to find a swimsuit designed to hide skin instead of showing it off.

There are too many scars on my body for me to wear a normal one and a bikini is completely out of the question. I would need to lose at least twenty pounds before I would even consider showing my belly to the public.

I’m still gooey over the way Maverick picked me up yesterday. To be cradled in the arms of my mate as though I’m light as a feather is a dream of mine. I knew the mate part of the equation would happen at some point based on Rhoda’s vision, but never did I dare dream I would be cradled in their arms.

Making my way through the house, I hear a shriek followed by a loud splash. Apparently, the party got started without me.

Maybe they don’t need me to join them.

“Piper, stop. They’re your mates. They want you and Sage. Don’t let your insecurities ruin a good thing.” Atlas’s voice rolls through my mind, giving me the push I need to step out the kitchen door and head towards the pool.

Seeing all five of my mates shirtless and in the water is enough to raise my blood pressure. How on earth did I get matched with such good-looking men?

“Piper, come play!” Sage waves at me from the center of the pool. She’s sitting on Wyatt’s shoulders, her fingers threaded through his hair for balance. I envy how easily she’s able to interact with our mates.

Even the dark parts of our past don’t keep her from embracing the blessing in front of us. We went through different nightmares, but nightmares all the same.

Somehow, she keeps finding the strength to move forward and I’m stalled out looking for the hidden agenda. My mind refuses to believe that anything good can happen to me.

Besides Sage anyway. As amazing as she is, it wouldn’t surprise me if having her in my life took all the good karma points I’m allowed.

Despite my inner turmoil, I make my way to the side of the pool and sit on the edge, letting my feet dangle in the water.

Milo swims up and stands on the bottom of the pool. The water level is just below his pecs. His eyes start at my toes and travel all the way up my legs, pausing at the tattoo peeking out the leg of my shorts.

“What’s this?” His finger traces the deep purple tentacles just visible below the hem.

“Sage and I got matching octopus tattoos. Well, kinda matching. The colors are different. When we stand side by side, it looks like they are holding hands.”

I’m glad the tiny barrel of TNT that is held in a different tentacle is higher up and out of view. I’m not sure how to explain that without going into details about our books and what we write.

I've seen so many social media posts about women that are harassed and belittled by their husbands and boyfriends for reading smut. How will our mates feel about us writing it?

As wonderful as they’ve treated us so far, I can’t help but expect the other shoe to drop. It wouldn’t surprise me if the other proverbial shoe ends up being our life’s work.

“Look!”

Sage swims over and hops up on the edge of the pool so the guys can all see that our octopus are aligned. At least they would if my shorts weren’t in the way.

I move my hands to the button, but pause as I try to fight my nerves. I’m not hideous, but I’m far from beautiful. My body is… Sturdy?

And while my body does everything I need it to, I wonder if my mates will actually find it attractive.

Sage rubs my shoulder. She doesn’t even have to say anything to let me know that she’s offering support.

She witnessed my shame. The way my father insulted me in front of the pack. How the boys did the same, hoping to earn favor with the supreme alpha by insulting me.

“Piper.”

The gruff tone of Maverick’s voice has me flinching instinctively. I start to slip into the pool, but he grips my hip on one side and Milo on the other. Together, they help me slide back into place on the edge of the pool.

“Embers, I swear I will never harm you. I know I can be a gruff asshole, but there will never be a day that I raise a hand to you.” The hurt in his tone tears me up. I didn’t mean to offend him.

“I’m so sorry.” I can’t fight the urge to curl my shoulders in. Even though I no longer expect to be hit, it kills me that even seven years after escaping my father, I still react as if I’m within his reach.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Sage jumps in, fury in every line of her body. “We’re all learning to navigate this relationship, but I will not stand for any of you getting your fucking feelings hurt because one of us reacts in a way you don’t like. We’ve both been abused, and some trauma responses are ingrained in us. I don’t want or expect you to walk around on eggshells, but if you’re going to get bent out of shape at every flinch like we just questioned your fucking manhood, you can pack up and get the fuck out.”

I grab her hand, keeping her in place at my side before she can launch herself across the pool at him. “Sheath the claws, chica.”

Wyatt nudges his way between Milo and Maverick. “I think we need to all take a step back. Maverick isn’t upset at you. He’s upset that you were ever in a position to expect violence. I’m not pushing you to tell us your story before you are ready, but the idea that you’ve been abused is enough to send all of us into a rage. I would burn the world down to protect you. We all would.”

I take a deep breath, knowing I owe them some kind of an explanation. “I’m not ready to tell my whole story. It will take more than a day of being with you before I can open that can of worms. The cliff notes version is that my father is a narcissistic asshole. The first time he hit me, I was nine years old. I was crying too loudly because he just told me my mother was dead.”

The curses and growls from my mates somehow make it easier to get the rest of the story out. “I wear this swimsuit because it covers most of my scars. Ones that he put on my body. Learning tone of voice was a crucial survival skill. Sometimes the way a word was said was the only warning I had to get out of reach.”

Maverick slowly reaches towards me, his hand palm up. When I look up to meet his grey eyes, the swirl of pain I see in them makes me think of storm clouds. Laying my palm across his, there is a part of me that waits for his grip to tighten to the point of pain.

Yet, I hope I’m wrong. I pray to the Goddess that my mates will love and cherish me the way I’ve always been told fated mates will.

The pain never comes.

As my hand is engulfed in his, he lifts my fingers to his lips and drops a feather-light kiss on each of my knuckles.