Page 5 of Final Breakaway (For Puck’s Sake #11)

CHAPTER 5

ETNA

I think an amenity the NHL takes into consideration when choosing hotels for their teams is how big the gym is. When we’re traveling endlessly for weeks at a time, we need somewhere that a large portion of the team can work out together. Not because we need to do everything together, but because there are only so many hours in the day, so it needs to accommodate upwards of fifteen or more big guys.

This hasn’t been the best series of away games ever. We’ve won four but lost six. We’re in L.A., preparing to play the Golden Tides tomorrow. They’re a damn good team, so I’m really hoping we can get our shit together and win. That would go a long way to boost morale and shit.

I’m trading out on the leg machine with Keno, which isn’t all that unusual. Like most things, we typically work out together. We enjoy spending the day together. All day.

Which is probably why I can’t stop thinking about Keno’s joke the other day. Then there are the jokes we hear from the guys about already being a married couple and we just don’t know it. We’ve been hearing it since Keno was traded to Arizona last summer.

We knew it was always said in good humor and honestly, it’s never been something we were offended by. Yeah, we spend a lot of time together. Every single day. We practically live together; and even though we have our own houses, it’s rare that we spend a night apart.

I’m confident that half of our clothing and belongings are at the other person’s house as it is. We buy shit together. Go on vacations together. We even opened a bank account together, so it’s easier to plan for financial shit together.

What’s more, I think it’s been well over a year since we’ve spent the night in separate beds. Not because we harbor some latent homoerotic attraction to each other. Besides the drunken day caught on camera, there’s been zero physical contact of that sort between us.

The first time we fell asleep together was accidental. The subsequent times after that weren’t. It’s comfortable. We enjoy each other’s company.

So, in all honesty, yeah, I can totally see why our buddies tease us about us already being married. In a sense, I guess we are.

Then why not just make it happen?

Keno and I have talked about our futures and somehow, we always imagine them together. All our plans, it’s as if we’re always going to be traded together. It’s insanely unlikely it’ll happen that way even once, but it’s cool to think it might.

But we’ve even created back-up plans to hang out when we’re separated due to a trade.

Isn’t that something you’d do with your spouse?

The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. And the more it aligns with our lives now and how we’ve been planning for next month and year and beyond. We always see ourselves together. Best friends. Hanging out and happy.

Then there’s the conversation we had that day about how in some Asian cultures, people are marrying for sustainability and longevity. When he teasingly followed up about marrying me, I kind of thought, in the days to follow, he’d hint about it again. It just kind of fell into the conversation too easily.

As the days passed, I realized that Keno really was just having a conversation and telling me about something he read about. He was joking. But is that joke far from the truth? Would he marry me?

“Your turn,” Keno says, slapping my arm with the back of his hand as he grabs his water.

I nod and climb on. I force myself to stop thinking about marrying my best friend and focus on what I’m doing. Working out distracted is an easy way to hurt yourself. So I concentrate on counting my reps and breathing.

Honestly, it’s nice to have a break from the badgering of these thoughts. They’ve been consuming me for days. Weeks. Ever since he brought it up. It’s never been far from my thoughts.

“One more set?” Keno asks as I finish my turn. “Then I think we need to head upstairs and get ready.”

An advantage to Keno’s new Gays Can Play connections is there’s a more likely chance of Keno knowing someone on the team we’re visiting. So during downtime, the likelihood of someone being around to show us the best of what their city has to offer is increased.

L.A. has a large number of Gays Can Play guys on their roster. Their athletic trainer, three guys on the team, and their mascot. They’re now rivaling Buffalo for the most gay guys on a single team. I saw on a post there’s some good-natured rivalry to see which team can beat out the other.

Today, Noah and Hector are meeting us at the hotel to show us the sights. We’re dragging Hilt, Horny, and Julian with us too.

“Yep,” I agree. Maybe sightseeing will take my mind off this whole marrying my best friend thing. It’s ridiculous and he obviously only meant it as a joke.

We get through the last rep, wave to the guys still working out, and head upstairs. I chug my water as we wait in the elevator. This bottle needs to be gone before we get back to the room. A personal goal is always to drink at least one of my big bottles of water before getting home when I work out. Staying hydrated is important for everyone, but especially for athletes who sweat a lot.

“Want the shower first?” Keno asks.

There was a time when I thought that if we’d use our own showers in our separate hotel rooms, then we could just shower at the same time. Now, the first thing I think about is that we could just shower together and save time. It’s not like we haven’t been in communal showers before. The life of an athlete doesn’t support privacy very well.

“Sure,” I answer.

“You talk to your sister?”

I glance at him as I swallow. It’s possible I let him believe my recent distraction is because I miss my twin. I mean, it’s not a lie. I do miss Edna. We have been talking more since Thanksgiving because we’re both feeling the absence a little greater right now.

But the real reason for my quietness is because I’m plagued by thoughts of marriage.

“Yeah. This morning.”

The thing is, I should be concerned that my only thoughts circling around marrying Keno are platonic. Right? Am I worried about the absence of a romantic connection for the rest of my life? Then there’s the obvious elephant in the room—sex. Not going to lie. I don’t necessarily have an answer for that.

Yet, neither point has discouraged me from leaning more and more toward this. Which is a little frightening.

It doesn’t take us long to get ready. Since we’re just wandering the city, we don’t dress in any particular way. Comfort and not like we just stepped out of the gym are the only considerations. We’re the first downstairs, but the others aren’t far behind. Then Hector pulls up in his enormous SUV. It might as well be a truck since I think I’m going to need to climb up into it, and I’m not considered short by any means.

“Hey,” Noah greets, twisting in his seat while we climb in. Horny, Julian, and I get into the far back. For three big men, there’s a surprising amount of room back here. Hilt and Keno take the two middle seats.

“Hey,” Keno answers as he buckles in. “You know everyone?”

Noah shrugs. “In passing.”

Keno goes around the car. “Hilt, Julian, Lund—though we call him Horny because of his last name; I don’t know anything about his sex life—and you know Etna. This is the mighty Noah Kain and Hector Atlas.”

Hector snorts. “Why don’t I get an adjective?”

“This is the whiny Hector,” Keno corrects, grinning. Hector flips him off.

Noah laughs. “I’m not sure I’m mighty, but nice to meet you.”

“Where you chauffeuring us to?” Keno asks.

“Okay, first I thought we’d stop at Zuma Beach so you can stick your feet in the Pacific Ocean. Then the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The Griffith Observatory and Griffith Park so you can see the Hollywood sign. Drive along Rodeo Drive on our way to grab something to eat downtown and wander around the shops for a while. Then we’ll finish with either Sunset Boulevard or the Santa Monica Pier.”

“We have time for all that?” Hilt asks.

“No,” Noah admits with a grin. “But we’ll see what we can do. I tried to plan things that were quick but impactful. Not a lot of walking means we should be able to do them somewhat rapidly. Then again, we have to deal with traffic, so who knows? We might just end up at the beach and Walk of Fame.”

“Ever the optimist,” Hector says.

“You didn’t ask your partners to come?” Horny asks.

“Nah,” Noah says. “Lix is enjoying home life. He might drop in if we do Sunset Boulevard later, though. He enjoys that.”

“Toby feels like he’s a doomsday to hockey players and they glare at him a lot,” Hector explains with a smirk.

“I don’t take it personally,” Keno says.

“He’s also a fan of yours,” Hilt counters. “He calls me old and slow.”

“You are old,” Horny argues.

“In sports, I’m old. I’m only thirty-eight!”

“He doesn’t ever attack you as a person. He only comments on your game,” Hector says in what sounds like a very well-repeated argument. “It truly isn’t personal.”

“I know,” the entire car says, making Noah laugh.

“Don’t worry; he’s not always my biggest fan either,” Noah says.

We’re not rushed through any of the events that Noah has planned, and I’m a little surprised he’s as laid back as he is. I don’t know why I had the impression that he wasn’t. I don’t recall anything Keno’s ever said about him.

We all stick our feet in the Pacific Ocean, then head to the Observatory. I wasn’t sure that the Hollywood sign would be worth seeing, but it was pretty cool. We end up skipping the Walk of Fame and go down Rodeo Drive as Noah uses an app to point out different celebrity homes. However, he definitely got a few wrong and backtracked several times.

Noah is a fun tour guide.

We end the rich and famous tour in a parking lot Noah says is a short walk away from a small shopping district that also has some cafés and restaurants. It’s snack time. Need to feed the big hockey players.

The restaurant we stop at has Greek cuisine. Keno and I order gyros that are probably better than anything I’ve ever eaten from any Greek restaurant. I also appreciate that they’re handheld, so we’re able to keep walking down the sidewalk, peeking in shops, and listening to Noah and Hector as they point out whatever they can think of.

In a quiet moment of walking and eating, I muse about how I’ve managed not to think about Keno and marriage for a few hours now… right until I think about the fact I haven’t thought about it. Yet, the only thing I note is how I’m glad we’re sharing this together. I like these memories.

Likely feeling me watching him, Keno glances in my direction, giving me a grin. “Want to stop for frozen custard?”

I nod.

“We’re stopping here,” he calls to the others. Hector waves in acknowledgement and Keno drags me into the shop.

There are three dozen flavors to choose from. I have a hard enough time choosing between three. Something Keno notes right away. I haven’t even gotten down half the line of options yet when he pushes a dish into my hand with a grin.

It’s little things like this that add to the growing list of reasons I think it could work between us. I could marry my best friend. Compatibility isn’t an issue. We clicked as soon as we met.

With our cold treats in hand, we head back onto the sidewalk and continue in the direction we were walking before we stopped for dessert. We’re quiet, looking around as we eat our treats.

Well, I eat and wonder what he’s thinking. I wonder if he’s thought at all about the joke he made. I wonder if I’m going to fuck everything up by bringing it up.

No. I’m not going to say anything. That would be stupid. Wouldn’t it?

We lost track of the others ahead somewhere as we mosey down the sidewalk with our frozen custard. I chew my lip as I consider whether I’m really going to suggest this. Would it be all that different from how our life is now?

The short answer is no. But the longer answer is maybe a lot. The question is whether it’s worth the risk. Is it even worth the discussion?

“Hey,” I say before I can talk myself out of it. Here it goes. Keno looks at me. I study his face, trying to determine whether he even suspects where I’m going with this. I did say, ‘Hey.’ That’s totally giving away what I’m thinking. “So… remember the other day when you jokingly said you’d marry me?”

Keno laughs. “Yeah.”

“What if we change the tone of that and maybe… consider it?”

He tilts his head as he stares at me, taking another slow lick of his custard, distracted by what I just suggested. There’s a hint of a smile on his lips. He’s amused and not at all convinced I’m serious. “What do you mean?”

“What if we do that?”

“Get married?”

“Yeah.”

“To each other?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes. To each other. Who else could I be talking about right now?”

Keno lowers his frozen custard to stare at me. Our steps have come to a stop, and I move us under an awning and out of the way of other pedestrians. My heart races as I hold his stare. “Really?”

I’m not sure if he’s horrified, surprised, curious, or… what. Hopefully, he’s at least intrigued. “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about what you said—marrying your best friend and why there are so many benefits to it. I might have thought it was… unromantic or whatever before, but…” I shrug. “As far as longevity goes, I agree.”

His mouth opens, but he doesn’t speak. And he doesn’t get a chance to either because Noah calls, “There you are!”

Keno and I turn to look at him. He waves from the shade of a shop half a dozen doors down. “Come on,” I say, grabbing his wrist to get him moving. “Just think about it.”

He definitely thinks about it because Keno is almost entirely absent for the rest of the day. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. For the rest of our outing, my heart doesn’t stop racing.

I really hope I didn’t just royally fuck up our friendship.