Page 36

KENO

Three months later

Julian straightens my bowtie and takes a step back. He adjusts it again and then looks at me. “All set.”

I nod and look down. “It’s nice, right?” I ask, feeling a little self-conscious.

“Man, I wish I could have pulled off a skirt,” Hilt says. “Wifey would have been angry if I outshone her, though.”

“It’s not a skirt,” I argue. “I’m very obviously wearing trousers. It’s a jacket train or something.”

“‘ Or something ’ must be the professional term,” Julian says.

The image I first saw online months ago came to life, but even better. I’m in a dark blue suit and my jacket doesn’t just fall to my ass. It continues down and fans out like a train. And when I’m ready to take this off, I look pretty damn sharp without it, too.

“You look great,” Hilt promises, resting his hand on my forearm.

It’s not often I get insecure. I can’t help wondering what people are going to think. Is it a bold fashion choice? Am I going to be seen as feminine now? Am I just delusional and this is a horrendous look?

“Hey,” Hilt pulls me from my thoughts, and I look up. “Do you like how you look? Are you comfortable?”

I glance at my reflection in the mirror and try to see myself without my vision being clouded by doubt. I think the pants could be longer, but apparently, trousers are supposed to be floods unless you’re standing perfectly still. My shoes are a little shinier than I like. I prefer matte to gloss. Those are details I maybe should have thought about.

Otherwise… I think I look really good. “Yeah,” I answer.

“Then stop worrying about it. This day is about you and Etna. Not everyone else.”

“That’s a mantra I’ve been trying to remember,” I admit. “There are those who say the wedding and reception are for the guests, so everything you plan and do should be with them in mind. Then there’s the other camp who says fuck all that, this day is about me. That’s what we’ve been trying to remember. It is about us and the only people who have to look back with fond memories are us.”

“Exactly. And you really do look great.”

“Thanks. Let’s go. It’s time, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Julian confirms.

They head for the door and I follow but pause just inside and close my eyes. My stomach feels like I’ve been doing acrobatics for the past hour. This is really happening. I know this is what we’ve been working toward for the past seven months, but it always felt like it was wavering in the distance, like we were never getting closer.

Suddenly we’re here. It’s happening. In less than ten minutes, I’ll be standing in front of my best friend, promising my life to him.

Chills race down my body, and I close my eyes again. This is really it. A smile spreads across my face. I’m really marrying Etna Yreka. He’s mine for the rest of my life.

After taking a cleansing breath, I scoop up my train and sling it over my arm, only slightly, trying not to wrinkle it. Luckily, Sandra said it shouldn’t wrinkle too badly because of the type of fabric used. I step outside.

Hilt and Julian are waiting for me just outside. It’s a short walk to the ceremony site down a specific path one of our photographers, Theodore, leads us down. He orbits around us like a solar satellite, taking pictures as he goes.

“On a scale of one to ten, how nervous are you right now?” Julian asks.

“First game of the season nervous,” I answer, chuckling. “I’m excited but ready to jump out of my skin. Like, I want to experience it, but I also want it to be over, so I know how it turns out.”

“That’s exactly what it feels like,” Hilt says, laughing.

The closer we get, the louder it becomes. Not riot loud, but the sound of 200 people in a close area talking over the quiet sound of background music.

I look up and find Caffeine Daydreams off to the right on a small temporary platform beyond the guests at the front. They’re strumming something quietly. Background music.

Lead singer Luca, drummer Arlo, and Kai and Silas with their relationship that reminds me a lot of what Etna and I must have looked like to all our friends. They’re right there in front of me. Singing at my wedding. I swear, this isn’t real. I must be dreaming. When will I wake up?

Movement to the right makes me turn my attention and my breath catches. My man is wearing an equally untraditional suit in charcoal gray. The front has two diamonds crossing over each other, so you can’t see how the jacket is buttoned. It’s a mixture of elegant gray and ornate gray in a subtle design.

I love everything about it. Especially the man who’s filling it out quite nicely. He’s a wet dream. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be stiff as I walk down the aisle with him.

Etna’s smiling at me as our two small parties converge. He has Lo with him. I hadn’t seen him arrive. When we get close, Lo wraps his arms around me and hugs me for a beat longer than he ever has in the past.

“I’m so happy for you,” he whispers.

“Thanks for being here.”

“Trust me, nothing was going to keep me away.”

“Let’s go, boys,” Gran calls.

Lo takes a step back. Mine and Etna’s grandmothers are waiting a dozen feet ahead of us. The crowd is currently being instructed to sit and to be mindful of everyone around them when taking pictures, so they’re not blocking anyone’s view.

We’re not entirely visible to everyone since we’re still standing amongst the trees.

“Ready?” Edna asks.

Etna nods, his eyes meeting mine. His smile makes my heart race. “Ready.”

Horny and Julian walk down together first. Horny spins Julian at the end of the aisle like they were dancing. I can practically hear Julian’s eyes roll. Hilt and Edna go next. Hilt dips Edna in a dance finale move that has Edna laughing.

Then there’s Lo. He looks at us over his shoulder with a wicked smile and steps to the end of the aisle. I can’t see what he’s doing, but he has his hands up like he’s adjusting a tie. But I don’t think he’s wearing one.

“You gave him the rings, right?” I ask Etna.

“I did,” he answers.

I’m shocked when Lo shrugs out of his jacket. His white button-down shirt comes with it and, even from the back, I can tell he’s wearing a black leather harness. The crowd whoops, and I can see Caulder covering his face.

Lo struts down the aisle and turns to face us when he’s halfway. He brings his fingers up and jingles his nipple rings.

“Oh, my fucking hell,” Etna groans, staring with wide eyes. “Are those our rings on his nipples?”

“No!” I say and stare. “Oh god, what have we done?”

But I can’t help it. As the crowd is, I’m nearly in tears laughing.

He gets to the end of the aisle with our audience snickering, whistling like he’s a damn stripper, and clapping. If I was worried about people remembering my train, I’ve just been hugely upstaged. Lo is what they’re going to remember about this wedding, and I’m not even sorry about it.

Our grandmas are up next. My gran has her walker and Etna’s Gram waits patiently. Gran has a basket of petals on the seat of her walker as she slowly makes her way down the aisle, while Gram drops a single petal here, then another one there.

Gran though, is stopping every foot and grabbing a handful of flowers to throw into the audience. I’m chuckling when Gran picks up the basket and turns it over. It’s empty and they’ve made it maybe three feet down the aisle.

Gram turns hers over as well, which is also empty. Something I find rather amusing since she’s only dropped like eight petals.

Gran holds a finger up and then lifts the seat of her walker.

“Oh no,” I say and hold my breath.

Etna’s already grinning. His fingers slip into mine as we wait to see what our elderly grandmothers are going to do next.

Gran hands Gram a white tube folded in half. Gram holds it open for her, and we watch Gran take out a large plastic bag of petals and start pouring it in. At this point, the crowd is jarring their necks and craning around each other to see what the two are doing.

A loud click fills the air when Gram folds the tube into one long piece. With a trigger. Gran adds a fucking tripod onto her walker, and they hook up this contraption.

“I’m very scared,” I say.

“We have seven shots, Gerty,” Gram says. “Take aim.”

Gran and Gram move forward another few steps and Gran calls out, “Fire, Edna! There’s someone over there wearing pink. They’re the target.”

A loud pomp echoes off the trees and a burst of flower petals shoots from the end of the tube into the audience. There are screams and laughter as flower petals rain down.

“I think we should have tested this first,” Gram comments as Gran aims for the other side of the aisle. “I think they’re getting covered in petal shreds. Not actual petals.”

Etna shakes his head, chuckling as Gran aims at someone in leopard print.

We watch for the next few minutes as they make their way down the aisle, shooting petals into the audience. When they get to the end, they turn around and shoot toward us. The entire aisle becomes littered with petals. I swear I can see Gran wink at me as she and Gram make their way to their seats.

“This is wild,” Etna says. I meet his eyes and he’s grinning. A smile that I’m sure I mirror.

The music changes, becomes louder, which is our cue to walk.

“Ready to marry me?” Etna asks.

I don’t know why, but those four little words bring tears to my eyes. Emotion rushes through me and I have to hold my breath to keep it from spilling out. “Yes,” I answer, voice a little shaky.

His hand squeezes mine, and we head for the aisle. At first, I feel entirely overwhelmed. Everyone is looking at us. Watching our every step. Every breath. I can hear their whispers. The flashes of cameras.

Etna’s hand squeezes mine, and I glance in his direction. “Take a breath, Keno. It’s just you and me.”

And just like that, the world fades away, and it is just the two of us. “The only place I want to be,” I answer.

He smiles.

We reach the end and take our places in front of our officiant. Etna doesn’t release my hand, for which I’m grateful. I need the contact to ground me right now. It helps to keep the audience far in the distance. It encloses this little bubble that’s only the two of us.

“Please be seated.”

Okay, the three of us. Officiant Rose is in our bubble, too.

“On behalf of Keno and Etna, I would like to thank you all for being here this afternoon. We wish to thank you for wanting to witness their love as they promise their lives to each other in front of two hundred of their closest friends and family.”

A moment of quiet laughter rustles through the crowd.

“Whenever we attend a wedding, we are given the opportunity to reflect on our own relationships. We might look at the couple before us and be tempted to compare their friendship, laughter, and love to the quality of our own relationships. What we must remember is that every relationship is as unique as the individuals in it. But one thing holds true: For love to exist between two people, there must be trust and friendship above all else. No other force in this world is as strong.”

Etna’s smile climbs. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m trapped in his eyes. Like I’m just floating, barely hearing these words I’ve read before, but feel brand new. Each one resonates deep, building upon the foundation that’s already spread between us.

“What is important when choosing your partner? It is not enough to love someone. A strong marriage cannot only be built on love. There must also be the freedom to be your authentic selves without fear of judgement or rejection. There must be an understanding that all involved are unique individuals and should remain their own person. There should be freedom to surrender to the vulnerability of true intimacy—to be known and loved unconditionally.”

I want to ask if Rose wrote these lines just for us. I feel like they’re part of our story. Weaving in front of us promises into our marriage. But with her next words, I know it’s almost my turn to speak. To declare my love and life to Etna in front of far more people than I’ve ever spoken in front of before. Which is why I barely hear the next several minutes as I ground myself and reinforce the bubble that comprises only the two of us.

“Throughout time, millions of people from every culture and civilization have gathered among friends and families to celebrate their love and commitment to each other. Each culture has symbols and rituals to celebrate marriage. Today we should try to remember that a wedding is a symbol. It is not the foundation of a relationship—one that already existed before today. This ceremony is not magic, it will not create a relationship that does not already exist. What we are celebrating today is not the beginning of a marriage, but a love-already-in-progress. This ceremony is a symbol of Keno and Etna’s love, a symbol of the promises they will continue to make to each other throughout their lives together.

“Look at one another and remember this moment in time.”

I’m already looking at Etna, I haven’t taken my eyes off of him. And though she promised there is no magic in ceremonies, it feels as if twinkling stars gather around us, getting bright and more prominent with each word.

“Before this moment you have been many things to one another—co-worker, best friend, fiancé. Now you shall say a few words that will allow you to level up your relationship. After these vows, you shall say to the world, this is my husband. Saying these words with hundreds of witnesses might be difficult, but nothing is more difficult than living them day to day. When you love someone, you do not love them all the time in exactly the same way. Yet that is what is expected of marriage. As in life, there is an ebb and flow of love and of relationships. We insist on permanence, on duration, on continuity. But in love, the only stability is in change, growth, and freedom. This is why marriage isn’t a guarantee. It is a symbol of the life you’re already living.

“Having considered this, Etna, do you promise to do your very best each day to create a loving, healthy, and happy marriage?”

Etna’s smile is soft. Filled with love. Filled with a promise that’s all for me. “I do,” he says.

“Keno, do you promise to do your very best each day to create a loving, healthy, and happy marriage?”

I thought this was where I’d get nervous. It’s a big commitment. Huge. But then again, I’ve been committed to this man since our eyes first met. “I do.”

“Now, please declare your wedding vows to each other.”

Oh fuck. Thankfully, we agreed that Etna’s going first. Although, since I’m already feeling like I can’t breathe, maybe that’s not a good thing.

“One of the first thoughts I had upon meeting you was that I could never imagine my life without you in it again. Already, within that first month, you irrevocably changed my life. I couldn’t remember what I did day-to-day before you. As the days carried on, our lives became more and more intertwined in ways that, in hindsight, should have been far more telling than we were willing to see. Our friends teased us for acting like a married couple and, being the dumb hockey players that we are”—Etna glances at Edna with a smirk—“we never picked up on the hints they were giving us. Falling into this relationship wasn’t a big change. It wasn’t difficult. There were no challenges. You were always meant to be here. In my life, by my side, on the ice with me—my best friend, my lover, and now my husband. Falling in love with you has been the easiest thing I’ve ever done and the thing I’m proudest of. Not just because you make it easy to love you, but because I’ve loved you from the moment we met. I simply didn’t realize it at the time.”

Maybe I should have gone first. I’m not a huge crier; I’m not sure when the last time I cried was. But I wipe tears from my eyes and take a breath. I’ve memorized this like my life depends on it, but somehow, all the words are swimming around in my head like canned vegetable soup—squishy, fat letters that are missing far too many vowels to make proper words.

I take a breath. “I was going to say that.”

Etna grins. The crowd laughs quietly.

“I remember the day I fell in love with you. It’s further back than you might think. Not so far back to the moment I drunkenly kissed you on the beach—I still don’t remember that.”

Etna chuckles.

“But after our first game together. I was irritated that my perfect shot was thwarted by some stupid rival defenseman doing his job. You didn’t commiserate with me. Instead, you celebrated with me—hugged me and lifted me off my skates as if I’d just scored a hat trick. All because you saw I was upset. I thought this is the best friend I’ve always needed. But what I really meant was this is the man I’m going to spend my life with. Celebrating wins is easy. Everyone wants to be a part of a big win. Everyone likes to feel like a winner. But celebrating losses is far more difficult. Every day we’re together, we’re celebrating. I can’t wait to celebrate every day for the rest of our lives together.”

I’m not sure most of that is what I’d rehearsed. The story was right, though. At least there’s that.

Rose continues with the ceremony while I breathe a sigh of relief that my speech is over. “Taking the hand of someone who loves you is a powerful symbol of an unspoken bond. Friends and family, take a good look at your partner’s hands, so you may see the gift they are to you. These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future. These are the hands that, when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours.”

“May we please have the rings?”

Lo grins as he gets to his feet and approaches. He reaches up to his fucking nipples and unclips our rings, handing them to Rose. He gives us a cheeky smile and returns to his seat. Caulder’s cheeks are red. I try desperately to hold in my laughter.

“I can’t believe he was wearing our rings on his nipples,” Etna mutters.

Rose tries valiantly not to burst into laughter, but it’s a struggle. I can see it on her face. She takes a lengthy pause before speaking.

“Etna, please place this ring on Keno’s finger and repeat after me: I take you for now and for always.”

Etna repeats, “I take you for now and for always.”

“Keno, please place this ring on Etna’s finger and repeat after me: I take you for now and for always.”

“I take you for now and for always,” I repeat.

“No one but you can declare yourselves married,” Rose continues. “My hope for you is this: May you have many long years to delight in each other’s company. To love and be loved by the friends and family who have come here today to support you. May you make a home together that is filled with laughter, support, and warmth. May you each prosper in the world, learning from your failures and growing in your accomplishments together. May life’s challenges be met together with courage and optimism, and may your days be filled with hockey, imagination, trust, friendship, and love.

“As goes an old Irish blessing: May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and the rains fall soft upon your fields .

“It is now my honor and delight to declare you married—you may seal your vows with a kiss!”

I vaguely hear the cheers, the drums, the thrum of the energy around me as I yank Etna to me and seal my mouth over his. This isn’t the first day of our forever; we’ve already begun forever.

Today is the first day of a brand-new chapter and I can’t fucking wait to write the story together.

The next book in this series is Total Assist .