Page 6 of Fear of Love (Falling #3)

LYDIA

“ F inal edits are done and should be in your inbox,” my head editor, Susie, said as we went around the table giving updates for our monthly Tuesday staff meeting.

Every month, I got everyone together to see where they were at with their deadlines and if they had any questions or concerns. The magazine was my baby, but I wouldn’t have been here without my incredible staff. It was important to me that everyone was happy here, especially as we grew.

“I’ve also sent in the final photos to your email,” Josie said from her spot next to me.

“Perfect. I’ll look those over today and send them to the printers,” I said while writing down notes in my planner. It was the only way I could keep track of everything I had to do.

With the meeting practically over, I set my pen to the side and leaned back in my chair. “How’s everything else going?” I asked, looking at the three people sitting around the office table.

When I started the magazine, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t become a tyrant like a lot of the bosses I worked for.

A company couldn’t grow if their employees were ready to jump ship at any moment.

Sometimes, though, I could be more of a friend than a leader, but everyone here gave 100 percent and trusted me to do the same.

Something I would always be grateful for.

“Things are good. Becca is due any day now,” Susie said with an excited grin. She and her wife were trying to have a baby, and they finally got lucky last year when their final round of IVF took. Now, Susie’s wife, Becca, was waiting for their baby girl to arrive.

“You two are going to make great parents.” I sent her a smile. “Remember, you don’t need to come into the office until you’re ready. I want you to take a month or more off, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.”

The last thing I was going to do was make her work with a newborn. There were a few copyeditors and myself that could take over if need be. Susie opened her mouth to argue, but I quickly shot her a look. I wasn’t going to back down on that. She deserved time off to be with her family.

“We’re going to need tons of pictures,” Josie added

“I’ve already cleared my camera roll.” Susie didn’t even hesitate, earning a laugh from us all.

“How about you, Nick? Have a fun weekend?” I turned to my art director.

Nick was the sole reason Fusion Weekly looked as beautiful as it did.

He came up with the front cover design, the layout of the magazine, and kept track of what cover pictures were used in the past. Without him, the magazine would have been dreadfully boring.

“It was good. Didn’t really do much.” Nick shrugged.

“Woo, party animal,” Susie teased.

“Nothing wrong with a relaxing weekend,” Nick drawled, his light southern accent coming through. He might have moved here to Toronto fifteen years ago when he was seventeen, but his southern accent still seeped out.

“Wait, didn’t you have a date Friday?” Josie looked at Nick with a raised eyebrow.

“A date?” Susie gasped, turning to Nick with wide eyes filled with mock betrayal. “You didn’t tell me that.” Reaching across the table, she slapped his arm.

“Ow!” Nick pulled his arm closer to his body.

“I didn’t hit you that hard, you baby.” Susie rolled her eyes. “Now, tell us about this date.” She and Josie leaned forward, eager to hear the tea. Nick glanced at me, but I just shrugged, a smile playing at my lips as I waited to hear as well.

“He was nice.” The tips of his ears went pink. “We went to this little hole-in-the-wall jazz bar,” he went on to say.

As Nick talked about his date, Josie and Susie asking questions as he did, a small part of me felt left out.

Not because of his date—no, dating seemed like the worst thing on the planet these days.

It was more about missing out on making friends at the office.

Sure, I was friendly with everyone here, but there was still this underlying notion that I was the boss.

Along with the fact that I worked more days than not.

While the staff was out getting weekly drinks together, I was holed up in my office.

I listened to Nick’s story for another few minutes before my growing list of things I needed to get done started to eat away at me. Grabbing my planner and phone, I pushed away from the table and stood. Conversation paused as all three turned to me.

“You guys continue.” I waved them off. “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be in my office.” Giving them all a strained smile, I made my way to my office. I could feel my phone buzzing in my hand, no doubt emails piling up in my inbox like they always did.

Shutting my door behind me, I slid behind my desk, moving my mouse to turn my computer on. Clicking through my computer I inwardly groaned at the number of messages waiting for a response.

With a sigh, I got to work on replying.

“No. I told them I’m not making that deal.” I gripped my pen as I tried not to lose my shit over repeating myself for the tenth time. “They can ask all they want. The answer is still no.”

“Lydia.” My financial advisor, Larry, said through the speakerphone.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair. I had been on the phone with Larry for forty-five minutes. An hour before that, I was on a call with another magazine company that wanted to invest in Fusion Weekly .

I say invest in loose terms. What they really wanted was to come in, change the way things were done, and plaster their name on the front page. I’ve heard through the grapevine that this particular company was known for coming in and completely taking over.

“This is a great deal ,” Larry said, trying to reason with me.

“For some. Not for me.”

“You realize they’re offering over four million dollars to partner with you, PLUS monthly earnings?” I could tell Larry was getting frustrated with me. We were going around and around for the last forty minutes, and each time we got to this point in the conversation, I said no.

I couldn’t help but think of Landon’s words from Sunday. It had only been two days since Mila’s, but his words were still fresh in my mind. Money hungry. If all I cared about was money like he said, I would have taken this deal immediately.

Four million dollars. That was more than anyone could ever ask for.

Maybe I was an idiot for saying no, but I didn’t put my blood, sweat, and tears into making this magazine what it was just to turn around and give it away.

They’d completely ruin what I’ve built, and who’s to say if they’d keep my employees around or get rid of them.

“It’s not a partnership, Larry. They want to come in and take over. The magazine helps small businesses and events get recognized. We help people, and this company will come in and destroy that.”

“Lydia.” His tone begged me to reconsider.

While it pained me to turn down the money, I wasn’t going to do it. We were doing fine on our own. We were growing and gaining new readers with every issue.

“Sorry, but tell them no.” My answer was final. There was no point in talking about this more when I already had my mind made up.

“Okay, I’ll let them know .” Larry sighed but conceded. He knew me long enough that I didn’t bow to others, especially not when it came to my business. This was my company, and it would stay that way.

“Thank you, Larry. Talk to you soon.” I ended the call, leaving my phone on my desk as I heaved out a sigh. Seven o’clock flashed back at me on the screen, showing that I had yet again worked well past the end of the day. The office was quiet since everyone went home well over two hours ago.

Rolling my neck, I let out a small groan, stiff from sitting in this chair for hours. My eyes were buggy from staring at my computer screen and answering email after email. The only plus was that I sent everything to the printers for next week’s issue and got started on next month’s as well.

With the promise of wine waiting for me at home, I finally shut off my computer.

I was in need of a huge glass of red to help drown out the fact I turned down a four-million-dollar deal.

While I was confident in my decision, it was still a hard one to stomach.

Hopefully, I didn’t just shoot myself in the foot by not taking it.

Then again, I was certain that in a year’s time Fusion Weekly would be worth more than that.

Locking up the office, I headed for my car, wasting no time in starting it and pulling out to head home. At least at this time of night there wasn’t much traffic. It helped that I only lived five minutes away.

Three years ago, when the magazine started to take off, I was finally able to leave my shitty studio apartment and get into a newly built complex.

I was still surprised I was able to snag one at the time I did considering the building was perfectly situated near downtown and almost all the apartments had views of the city. Definitely a step up from what I had before.

The beeping of my car locking echoed through the packed parking lot as I headed through the double doors leading inside, the cold air seeping through my coat. My heels clicked on the floor with each step toward the elevators.

I barely stepped inside when my phone buzzed. Fumbling with my purse and keys, I pulled it out and answered without looking at the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Josie’s voice greeted me. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“You’re good. I’m just getting home.” I held my phone against my ear as I leaned back against the railing.

Josie’s inner mom voice came out. “Lyd, it’s after seven.”

“Had a few things to fix before I could send this month’s copy to the printers, then Larry called.” Josie already knew about the other magazine wanting to partner up.

When I was first approached about the deal a few months ago, Josie was the only one I told. I needed someone to be my sounding board, and Josie was great at being neutral when it came to decisions. Plus, she was my closest friend.