Page 32 of Fear of Love (Falling #3)

Old me would have said yes instantly. Being the only magazine in the city to have an exclusive look at their wedding was a huge deal. But the last thing I wanted was to take advantage of anyone, let alone Josie and Wyatt.

The first magazine company I worked with while in my senior year of uni was great at first. I liked my internship.

I liked learning how the business worked and seeing writers create their pieces.

When the person I was interning under offered me a chance to write my first article, I jumped at the chance.

I did everything she asked and more. I worked my ass off. I wanted to prove that I was meant to be there and show that I was learning. I didn’t want her to look bad because I did poorly.

So, of course, I did everything possible to make sure it was great. I gave it to her to look over before sending it up the chain of command. At the time, I didn’t realize just how cutthroat the industry was. That everyone stepped on others to get further.

I didn’t hear back about my article for days and thought it wasn’t good enough. I let it slide until a friend of mine that was interning with me sent me a link. A link to my piece but with my mentor’s name stamped on it. What made it worse was that it was right on the front page of the magazine.

When I tried to tell one of the head editors that the article was mine, there was nothing they could do. When I confronted my “so-called mentor” about it, she just shrugged and said, “Sometimes you have to take advantage or you’ll be left in the dust.”

I was a stepping stone in someone else’s career. I refused to be that person.

“I won’t push you to do it but just think about it.” Josie reached over and squeezed my arm.

“Thanks. I’ll… I’ll let you know in a couple of days.” Before we could say anything else, our names were called.

Turning, I found Tasha and Mila walking toward us, their boyfriends a step behind them. I couldn’t stop my eyes from glancing to see if someone else was with them. My heart sank a little when I didn’t see him. Pushing the feeling aside, I plastered on a smile.

“You look gorgeous,” I said as I hugged Tasha. Her baby blue dress contrasted her tan skin perfectly, her blonde hair pulled up into a cute messy ponytail. Standing next to Trevor, the two were honestly one of the prettiest couples.

We all looked great, but Mila stole the show. Her deep emerald green dress was stunning, her curly brown hair going down her back. Her dark skin shimmered under the light. She was radiating.

“You have to tell me where you got this dress,” I said, eyes glued to her dress. “It’s gorgeous.”

As Mila and I talked, Wyatt slid up next to Josie and tugged her into his side.

Once again, I was the seventh wheel. I stood there as everyone’s significant others wrapped their arms around them.

It was painfully obvious I was single. I knocked back the rest of my wine before I turned and asked the bartender for another.

Slowly, one by one, my friends left to go mingle, leaving me at the bar. I leaned back against the counter, wine in hand as I people-watched. I felt extremely out of place. I wasn’t dating anyone from the team, and I really only knew the guys.

As I debated if I should saddle up next to one of the girls for the rest of the night, I felt someone slide up next to me.

“What’s a beautiful woman like you doing over here by yourself?”

My lips quirked up at the lame pickup line. I turned my head to find a familiar guy smirking at me, eyes moving from my face down to my chest. He wasn’t even sly about it either. I couldn’t remember his name for the life of me, but I knew he was a player on the team.

“Coming to keep me company?” I asked. I leaned back on my elbow and took another sip of my wine.

“Of course. Can’t let you stand here alone.” He smirked. “I’m Max.”

“Lydia.”

“Beautiful name.” I had to hold in my snort at his words. They were corny as hell. I didn’t need to know Max well enough to know he only wanted to get laid.

He was attractive, I’d give him that. Dark brown hair that was shaved on the sides but longer on top. He was clean-shaven, which showed off his nice jawline. But when I looked at his brown eyes, all I could see was a pair of hazel ones.

I wasn’t interested. I wasn’t going to lead the poor guy on all night, but as I went to tell him that, something caught my attention, or more like some one . I knew who it was immediately. I’d recognize that body anywhere.

The moment Landon walked into the room all the background noise disappeared, including Max beside me.

My mouth dried at the sight of him. He was clad in tan dress pants and a dark blue button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms. From here, I could see his biceps pushing against the fabric. Fuck, he looked hot.

Before I could get caught drooling, I forced my eyes away, only then noticing Evelyn at his side, arm hooked through his.

As Josie and Wyatt came up to hug Evelyn, I stood a little straighter, waiting for Landon’s eyes to meet mine.

The last few weeks, every time we’d been around friends, he would look at me and give a little wink before he looked away. It was our thing.

I watched with bated breath as Landon scanned the crowd. It was like he was trying to find me. I stilled as his eyes finally met mine. I didn’t know what I was expecting but it definitely didn’t include him looking right over me as if I wasn’t there. Like I was invisible.

My throat tightened as my heart squeezed in my chest. The hurt that filled me at his lack of acknowledgement had me clenching my wine glass. I didn’t need Landon to march over here and say hello, but he could have at least acknowledged me.

Hurt and anger grew in my chest. I got the two of us were just messing around, and he didn’t want the others to find out. But this was beginning to feel like more than that, and him not noticing me hurt more than I cared to admit.

“You okay?” Max’s voice beside me pulled me from my daze. I had no right to be so upset. Landon wasn’t mine and I wasn’t his. Still, the sting lingered. What I was about to do wouldn’t make things better, and I knew that, but anger and pain were steering the wheel now.

“Perfect.” I turned my whole body to face Max. Putting on a coy smile, I looked up at him from under my lashes. “What’s it like being a hockey player?”

Moving through the crowd, I made my way back to the bar. I’d only been here for an hour and already had three glasses. I needed to dull being ignored. And the fact everyone seemed to be having a great time while I wasn’t.

Sure, I flirted with every player on the team, because why the hell not, but none of it meant anything. Maybe a few months ago, I would have loved being here, flirting with hot athletes and the possibility of a no strings attached one-night stand.

But now… now I just wanted to go home. I turned the anger I directed at Landon earlier on myself. I was annoyed that I cared so much. Him ignoring me shouldn’t have hurt as bad as it did. Knowing that just pissed me off more.

On my way to the bar, I noticed Josie and Wyatt were off to the side, wrapped up in each other as they talked to Mila and Bryton, both couples completely smitten and in love I hadn’t seen Tasha and Trevor for awhile but was pretty sure they snuck off somewhere to do god knew what.

I also saw Evelyn standing pretty damn close to Coach Barnum.

I raised an eyebrow at how cozy they looked. Interesting.

With a wave to the bartender for another drink, I turned around to face the room. Over the last hour, it had gotten louder, conversation and drinks flowing. Everyone seemed to be having a nice time as the night went on.

It became abundantly clear I shouldn’t be here. My friends were busy, and I knew they didn't mean to leave me alone, but with them all being in love, I was the outcast of the group. There was truly no reason for my attendance.

With the feeling that I was imposing, I pushed away from the bar. My eyes roamed the room one last time, snagging on one person. My chest tightened at the sight of Landon, who seemed to be deep in conversation with a woman.

She was beautiful with tall legs that appeared a mile long and big bouncy brown curls around her face.

The way her dress hugged her figure made me envious.

She could’ve easily been a model and most likely was.

I watched as she laughed at something he said.

A smile graced his face. A smile usually reserved for me.

Unable to stomach the sight, I quickly apologized to the bartender for my untouched drink. With a hand holding the bottom of my dress, I headed for the exit. Everyone was too busy to notice me as I slipped out. I loved the girls, but I didn’t need them to try and convince me to stay.

I walked down the hallway, by passing a few people coming and going. Riding the elevator down to the lobby, I opened my clutch and sent Josie and the girls a quick text telling them I left so they wouldn’t worry.

The image of Landon with someone else was front and center in my mind.

A wave of jealousy crashed over me, stronger than anything I’d felt in a very, very long time.

I was jealous. Jealous of someone else getting to see a side of Landon that felt like mine.

Jealous of a smile that should’ve been meant for me alone.