Page 5 of Fear of Love (Falling #3)

LANDON

I screwed up. I knew I did the moment the fire in Lydia’s eyes dimmed when I snapped at her about Mateo. I was harsh, harsher than I should have been, but when it came to my family, I didn’t care if I was an asshole.

Lydia probably meant well, but all I could picture when she talked about Mateo being in her magazine was people flocking to my younger brother and using him for their own gain or worse—ruining his chances of living his dream.

Mateo, like Wyatt, was meant for great things.

I would rather flay myself open than let anything get in the way of that.

“Come on, guys. Lydia is about to start,” Mila said loudly from the kitchen.

Grabbing my beer, I followed the guys into the kitchen, my eyes immediately landing on a certain blonde.

A blonde who was avoiding me ever since my outburst, which was pretty impressive considering we were in the same house.

My grip tightened around the beer in my hand when I saw Lydia’s lips quirk up into a smile as she talked to Tasha. That breathtaking smile shouldn’t have had the effect of pulling a smile from me too.

Lydia was the bane of my existence.

She was a bullheaded, smart-mouthed, know-it-all. She always had something to say and claimed she was right 99 percent of the time. It grated on my nerves to no end.

But I couldn’t deny she was damn gorgeous.

Her shorter blonde hair fit her no-bullshit attitude.

When her green eyes glanced in my direction, it was like a bolt of lightning hit me directly in the chest. Even when she was glaring and angry, she was beautiful.

Which was why I couldn’t help but rile her sometimes.

Seeing that fire light in those emerald eyes, even when directed at me, did something to me.

I hated how drawn I was to her. Hated how my eyes sought her out whenever we were all together, as if they had a will of their own. It made me feel weak. Powerless. Like I was being dragged behind something I couldn’t name. Something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Lydia’s eyes flicked up to meet mine for a brief moment before moving back to Tasha. I didn’t miss the flash of hurt in her eyes, though. I stifled a groan. While Lydia might have gotten under my skin, the last thing I wanted was to truly hurt her. I needed to apologize, and soon.

“Okay, let’s try some pizza.” Mila turned to Lydia with a paper plate in her hand. “Try a slice of each and pick your favorite. Easy as pie.” She snorted at her own joke.

I stayed off to the side as she started taste testing. It was comical watching all the guys wait with bated breath as she ate.

As soon as Lydia was done, Mateo leaned forward in question.

“So, your favorite was mine, right?” he asked.

I took a sip of my beer as Lydia looked at everyone, her eyes only briefly connecting with mine before she finally spoke.

“My favorite is the one with banana peppers, pepperoni, and onions,” Lydia announced, letting the words linger in the air for a second.

“That’s bullshit,” Wyatt said.

“No! Try them again!” Tasha exclaimed.

“What the hell?” Trevor looked from his pizza to Lydia like he couldn’t believe he wasn’t picked.

“I thought we had an understanding, L.” Mateo shook his head at Lydia.

Mila wrapped her arm around Bryton’s middle. “Good job, babe.”

“My second favorite was the dessert pizza.” At Lydia’s praise, Josie grinned.

“Told you the Nutella, strawberries, and a little peanut butter would work.” Josie stuck her tongue out at Wyatt. Wyatt just rolled his eyes, but the way he held her close to his chest showed he didn’t fully care.

It was still a bit surreal seeing my brother happy and engaged. Felt like just yesterday that I was teaching him how to ride a bike, and here he was, three months away from marrying Josie. I had no clue how my brother managed to snag someone like her.

When I first met Josie Scott, I was an ass.

I had reservations since my brother’s last girlfriend used his name and their relationship to sell an article to the tabloids.

Aside from the PR nightmare it caused, I saw what it did to my brother.

When you were as popular as him in the hockey world, people used that fame to their advantage, women especially.

It didn’t take long to see that Josie wasn’t like that. She was a hockey fanatic, but she loved my brother for who he was, not for what he did for a living. Apparently, getting stuck in an elevator helped you find the love of your life.

“Better luck next time.” Bryton shot all of us a smug grin. I flipped him the bird before moving to grab the pizza I made. Lydia didn’t say it was the best one, but it looked damn good if I did say so myself.

“Hey, you good?” Wyatt saddled up to my side, speaking softly. Unconsciously, my eyes darted to the one person in the room they shouldn’t have. I quickly looked away and gave Wyatt a nod.

“I’m fine.” And I was, aside from the growing guilt building in me, but Wyatt didn’t need to know that. It was my fault for making the atmosphere weird and uncomfortable. Wyatt looked from me to Lydia but thankfully left it alone.

“Alright then. You’ll be at the tux fitting on Tuesday, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. There’s junior hockey practice that day but that won’t be until later.”

“Who wants to be the one to pick up Mateo?” The two of us looked at our younger brother, who was currently shoving a piece of pizza in his mouth without a care and zero manners. For fuck sake, I taught him better than that.

“I’ll do it.” Wyatt sighed, making me chuckle. We both knew it was in a joking way. Mateo was that annoying little brother who always got on your nerves, but he was our annoying little brother.

“Thanks for making a point to come to the tux fitting. I know you have a lot going on,” Wyatt said after a moment.

“Of course. Your wedding is in a few months. Are you ready?” I watched as he turned to look at Josie, a glazed expression overtaking his face.

“More than ready. I would have married her months ago if a wedding wasn’t so important to her.”

“You’re lucky she wants to marry your ugly mug.”

Wyatt shot me a glare. “First, fuck off. We all know I’m the best looking brother.”

“Debatable.”

“And second,” he continued like he didn’t hear me, “I already know I’m lucky to be marrying her.” While it was nice to see my brother happy, even if it’s a bit disgusting seeing how lovey-dovey he is with Josie.

“Okay, enough with your lovely-dovey bullshit. Go be with your fiancée,” I said with a grunt, shoving him back toward Josie at the end of the island.

“Still the best Boone brother,” Wyatt shot over his shoulder with a smirk. I didn’t bother with a reply.

Grabbing my plate filled with pizza, I followed after everyone else to the dining room table. Dinners like these slowly became our group’s weekly thing. Whether it was at my mom’s house or one of ours, we made the effort to get together.

I haven’t made it to the last few, and I wouldn’t admit it out loud, but it was nice being included and sitting at a table surrounded by people who cared about you.

Growing up, it wasn’t like that in the Boone household.

Because it was just Mom and us three boys, she had to work one job during the day and another at night.

More often than not, it was me who made dinner for Wyatt and Mateo.

We ate a lot of mac and cheese before I learned how to cook.

We’d eat, work on our homework, and then watch TV before Mom got home.

We only had a family dinner once in awhile when she had a shift off.

When she finally quit her second job and we all started getting older, family dinners turned into this.

I dug into my pizza as conversations started up all around me. Everyone talked over each other, having their own separate discussions. Like a damn magnet, my eyes strayed to Lydia.

My gaze traced the line of her nose to her lips that were coated in the softest pink lipstick.

Her burgundy sweater seemed to make her green eyes brighter.

A silent part of me begged for those eyes to land on mine, but I knew they wouldn’t.

It felt off without hearing her make jabs at me throughout dinner.

Realizing I was staring, I jerked my attention to my left side where Trevor and Bryton were having a conversation. I shouldn’t have cared that Lydia wasn’t talking to me. She didn’t like me, and the feeling was mutual.

The last thing I needed, or wanted, for that matter, was for a woman to come into my life and screw things up. Again . I wasn’t going to let that happen, and one thing I knew for certain about Lydia… She would do just that.

With a firm grip on myself, I forced myself to ignore her.

“Bye, guys! Thanks for coming!” Mila called from the doorway of the house as the rest of our group slowly made their way toward their cars. The sun was close to setting as I stepped off the front porch.

I shot a wave over my shoulder before making my way to Mateo. I noticed he was hugging Lydia and whispering something into her ear before she pulled away and shot him a smile. A tiny pang of jealousy sparked through me. Of course my brother got that smile from her and not me.

Almost like she knew I was getting close, Lydia turned and walked to her car. I shoved my enviousness aside as I watched her climb into her sedan and drive away. I stared until her taillights turned the corner. With a shake of my head, I approached Mateo, who moved onto Tasha and Trevor.

I lopped my arm around his neck and tugged him after me.

“Hey!” Mateo yanked his head free.

“Stop flirting. It’s time to go.”

“I was just about to convince Tasha to come home with me,” Mateo groaned.

“Sorry, maybe next time,” Tasha said from behind us. There was no mistaking the teasing in her voice. Tasha would never leave Trevor for my youngest brother. Those two were just as sickly in love as my brother and Josie.

“Don’t worry, babe, I’ll steal you away soon!” Mateo called over his shoulder, going as far as winking at her.

“You’re just asking to get your ass beat.” I shook my head as I headed for my truck. One of these days, he was going to get in trouble for hitting on other people’s girlfriends. He was just lucky Wyatt, Bryton, and Trevor knew he was joking. It helped that, half the time, the girls egged him on.

“I could take him,” Mateo said in seriousness. I snorted at that.

Yeah, right. Mateo might have been six-one and bigger since being in uni, but he had nothing on Trevor.

The dude was two inches taller and hit guys the same size for a living.

There was a reason Trevor Hall was called The Beast on the ice.

Football was physical, yes, but being a quarterback was different than being a right winger in the League.

“I would pay to see that,” I remarked.

“I would, too,” Trevor butted in from behind us.

“Just don’t get the moneymaker.” Mateo swirled back around to face the couple and gestured to his face. “Gotta give the girls a place to sit.”

Trevor and Tasha choked in laughter at his words.

“Okay, that’s enough out of you.” Grabbing the back of his neck once more, I hauled him toward my truck.

“Bye, babe!” Mateo yelled over his shoulder with a wide grin. This kid was going to be the death of me.

I shoved him toward the passenger side with a shake of my head. I just knew I was going to get a call from him in the hospital one day after hitting on another guy’s girl. Little shit couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

Sliding in the driver’s seat as Mateo got in, I started the truck and pulled away from Bryton and Mila’s house, heading in the direction of York University.

At the start of the semester, Mateo moved out and got a place near campus with some of his friends and teammates.

Since the house was in the same direction as my place, I offered to pick him up and take him home.

“Need anything at school?” I asked after we had been on the road for a few minutes.

“I’m all good.” Mateo waved me off. “Mom already dropped off a week’s worth of food.” That sounded right. He might’ve moved out, but Mom always treated him like a kid, which Mateo secretly loved.

“Bet your roommates love that.”

“Mom is their favorite person.” Not that I blamed them. She was a saint.

When my father walked out on us, she didn’t sit around and let it consume her. She had three kids to raise and take care of. She worked multiple jobs to make sure all three of us had what we needed, not once putting herself before her children.

Even now that we were all grown up, she still found ways to take care of us. Whether that was bringing food over or calling us every other day to check in. She was the best person I knew.

The two of us were quiet for a few minutes before Mateo started shifting in his seat. It was his tell that something was on his mind. I knew better than to ask. Mateo never could hold anything in for longer than a few minutes.

“Lan.”

“Hmm?” I felt his eyes on the side of my face as I drove.

“You fucked up,” he said, not missing a beat. “We both know Lydia didn’t mean any harm.”

“Mateo.” I sighed, not in the mood to talk about it. Least of all with him.

He ignored me and kept talking. “You were a dick. She was just trying to help, and you humiliated her.”

“I didn’t?—”

“You did . And in front of everyone. You didn’t notice the change in her afterward but I did.” Mateo turned in his seat to look at me fully. “You need to apologize.”

I clenched my jaw at his words. I already knew I fucked up, but it wasn’t often Mateo called me out on my shit. Hearing it made the guilt in my stomach ten times worse.

“I was going to apologize, but then she left before I could,” I finally admitted.

“I know saying sorry isn’t your thing,” Mateo teased. “But you better do it soon. And don’t be weird about it.”

“I won’t make it weird.”

“All you have to say is,” Mateo lowered his voice as if he were me, “‘Lydia, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been a dick.’ That’s it.”

“I know how to apologize,” I muttered. Mateo just huffed before opening his phone and going quiet.

Since when did he start giving sound advice? Or better yet, when did I start listening to it?