Page 51 of Every Broken Piece

Chapter forty-seven

Gabe

I lean my head against the seat rest and breathe out an exhausted breath, happy that this marathon meeting with Montrose is done. For now.

“What do you think,” Jack asks as he slides into the backseat next to me, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top button of his dress shirt as the driver pulls away. Jack in a suit is a novelty. I’m surprised he lasted this long with it buttoned up.

“I think Montrose needs to get his board on the same page. They’re the ones ruining the company.”

Jack settles back and closes his eyes. “Nothing we haven’t seen before. It’s always the people who’ve been in charge too long that become stagnant and irrelevant.”

“You think that’ll happen with us?”

“Nah. I don’t ever see us becoming stagnant. You going to New York next week?”

“I don’t have a choice. Unless you want to go.”

“Not my area of expertise, brother. You’re better at schmoozing senior management.”

“I don’t really want to leave Tess alone so soon after bringing her here.” Especially after hearing she’s looking for apartments. The thought nagged at me all through dinner and the evening meetings, distracting me from Montrose and his problems.

“How’s she doing? Better than last night?”

I rub a hand down my face and yawn. I laid awake most of the night thinking about what Pax said regarding her experiences in foster care and how she had to adapt to each new house she was in.

The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable.

I want her to understand that this is her home.

Not a house to live in, but a home to thrive in.

“She’s searching for apartments and jobs.”

“Look, Gabe.” Jack shifts so he’s angled toward me.

“I hope you didn’t bring her out here thinking you can fix her.

” He holds up a hand to stop me from denying the accusation, which is what I was about to do.

“She’s suffered trauma her whole life and that’s not something a penthouse apartment and a lot of money can fix. ”

“What the fuck, Jack? I can’t believe you just said that.

” I’m not throwing my money and influence around to “fix” her.

Yes, I have the means to whisk her away in a private jet.

Yes, I’m lucky enough to live in an apartment building that’s incredibly secure.

That just means I’m being smart about what I’m doing, not throwing money at her.

“It’s just that with Cara—”

“This has nothing to do with Cara.” My chest tightens at the mention of my late wife. This is the last place I want to go tonight when I’m so tired I can barely think straight.

“Doesn’t it?” Jack asks quietly.

“Of course it doesn’t.”

Jack falls silent because he knows he’s made his point even if I disagree with him.

Cara’s death, and the years leading up to her death, are a bone of contention between us.

We’ve never outright spoken about her depression.

Or the fact that I tried my best to “fix” her as Jack would say.

I just wanted her to be happy. I wanted Pax and I to be enough for her and we never were.

She loved us. I know she did. But we weren’t enough to keep her with us.

“It’s not the same,” I say into the quiet car.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Jack says. “And I don’t want Pax to get hurt either.”

“Fuck you.” But the words lack the strength behind them. I can’t fault Jack for trying to protect Pax and me. He was the one who picked up the pieces after Cara’s death. He was the one who held me together and learned to take care of a toddler and keep our fledgling business going.

But Tess is different. Tess is a fighter. She’s battled for normalcy her whole life and I want her to finally have someone in her corner. I want to be that person in her corner. It’s not fixing her. It’s bolstering her.

Nevertheless, Jack’s words stay with me as we ride the elevator to our respective floors in silence.

By the time I get to my front door my feet are dragging.

My eyes feel gritty, and my heart is thumping because Tess is on the other side of the door and I’m suddenly questioning everything.

Did I bring her here to fix her? Was I selfish to bring her to my home, not thinking how this will affect Pax?

I step into my apartment and close the door softly behind me.

“Go fish!” Pax yells.

Tess giggles and that sound right there makes me feel ten times better. Jack’s wrong. This isn’t anything like Cara. Cara was a dreamer; caught in a tidal pool she didn’t think she could get out of. Tess faces each battle as it comes and wins. There’s a difference.

“Do you have a sh-seven,” I hear her say.

My smile slowly fades because she doesn’t sound right. She’s slurring her words. Is her head hurting? Did she do something to make it worse? When I enter the kitchen and finally see them, I understand why she doesn’t sound like herself.

“Paxton!”

Tess shrieks. The playing cards she’s holding go flying everywhere.

They’re both sitting on top of my very expensive dining room table, a deck of cards, and a bottle of my best whiskey between them.

“Gabe!” Tess smiles at me. “You’re home!” She slides off the table. Her knees collapse and I lunge for her before she falls. She clutches my forearms and grins up at me with glassy eyes and whiskey breath.

I glare at Pax. “You got her drunk?”

I eye the bottle of whiskey, pretty sure it was almost full the last time I looked. Now it’s three quarters empty. What the hell? It’s been a long time since I’ve had to hide my alcohol from him.

“She’s a terrible Go Fish player.” He sways and grins, his eyes just as glassy and unfocused as hers.

“Am not!” She reaches across me to slap Pax’s arm.

“Are too.” He jerks back to avoid her very weak slap and falls off the table, rattling the pictures on the wall when he lands.

Tess gasps and, hands on her knees, bends down to look at him under the table. “You okay?”

“I’m good.” He rolls to his back and stares at the ceiling.

I don’t know whether to laugh or yell at him.

“You made a drinking game out of a kids’ card game?” I’m not sure who I’m asking. I’m not sure of anything anymore. Jack was worried that Tess’s presence would hurt Pax. I think Pax’s presence might hurt Tess instead. Or maybe I should be happy they get along so well?

I don’t know what the hell’s going on right now.

“Right?” Tess leans into to me, staring up at me with wide, unfocused eyes. “Who knew?”

Certainly not me.

Her smile widens and for the first time ever I think I see joy in her eyes. “Hi.”

Something inside me melts. “Hi, Spitfire.”

I could throttle my son, but part of me isn’t mad that she’s lost the tight control she keeps herself under. It’s good to unwind and I don’t know if Tess has ever fully relaxed.

“Should you be drinking with your head injury?” I ask.

Her eyes widen and she touches the side of her head. “Oh. I don’t know. Should I?”

I press my lips together to keep from grinning, even though this isn’t the least bit funny.

Not really.

Okay.

It’s kind of funny.

Tess is a cute drunk.

Pax, not so much.

He’s already snoring under the table.

Tess leans into me, resting her chin on my sternum to look up at me with those irresistible doe eyes. Automatically my hands curl around her hips, drawing her into the curve of my body. “Thank you for the blankets. That was really nice.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And the toothpaste. Bubble gum is my favorite flavor ever.”

I raise my brows. “Is it?”

“It is now.” She touches the rim of my glasses. “I like your glasses. They’re sexy.”

Fuck me. “Thank you.”

Her eyes drift closed, and I bend to pick her up, cradling her against my chest. “Time for bed, Spitfire.”

“Can I bring my blankies?” she mumbles as her arms wind around my neck.

“You want all of them?”

“Every one of’em. Because you gave them to me, and I love them sooo much.”

I chuckle. “Then you shall have all of them.”

I leave her in the bathroom with instructions to get ready for bed while I gather all ten of her blankets and bring them up to her room. I had no idea a weighted blanket weighed so much.

When I return, she’s sitting on the edge of the bed in an oversized t-shirt that says I ?? NY that barely covers her upper thighs.

Yup, time to get her into bed fast. I pull the covers down and step back to let her climb in.

But before she does, she stops in front of me and leans into me.

I go rigid, keeping my hands at my sides before I do something catastrophically stupid like tumble her to that bed.

“Smell my breath.” She huffs a big bubble gum scented puff of air into my face, then giggles. “Bubble gum. Did I tell you that’s my favorite flavor ever?”

“You mentioned that.”

“I love it.” She falls backward onto the bed and curls on her side, tucking her hands under her cheek to stare up at me. “Do I have all my blankies?”

“Every one, just like you ordered.”

She grabs my arm before I can pull away. “Thank you. For the toothpaste and the blankets and bringing me here and letting me spend the day with your son. He’s so nice. You did good with him, Gabe.”

Jack was so wrong. Tess doesn’t need saving. She just needs a sanctuary so she can heal and regroup and I’m going to be that for her.

“He got you drunk.” And Pax and I will be having a conversation about that tomorrow.

“It was fun.”

I kiss her forehead. “I’m glad you had fun. And I’m glad you and Pax got along. Although I think he’s a bad influence on you.”

She waves her hand with the brace and smacks me on the cheek. I jerk back and bite the inside of my cheek to keep from grinning.

“He’s a good kid,” she says. “He likes playing Go Fish.”

“I learn something new every day. Like Go Fish can become a drinking game.” I tuck two of her blankets around her and heap the others at the foot of the bed. “Sleep, Tess. I’ll be here in the morning when you wake up.”

“’Kay. Night, Gabe.”

Because I’m not quite ready to leave her yet, I sit on the side of the bed until her breaths even out and she’s drifted off to sleep.

Maybe I am attracted to women in need. Maybe I like being the protector, but what I’m feeling for Tess isn’t anything close to wanting to fix her.

I love her just the way she is—naive, yet street smart, vulnerable yet resilient, optimistic yet realistic.

She’s a dichotomy, a paradox, a contrast of extremes.

Sunshine and shadows, warmth and whispers, joy and sorrow, hope and doubt. Love and light.

I wouldn’t change one thing about her. I would never stifle any part of her. I just want to bask in her smiley emojis and exclamation points and experience life through her eyes.

She murmurs in her sleep and rolls to her back, dragging her yellow daisy blanket with her. Smiling, because drunk Tess is a delightful surprise I didn’t realize I needed to experience. I kiss her softly on her bubble gum scented lips and quietly exit her room.

I check on Pax who’s still under the table and will remain there until he takes his own ass up to bed.

Despite my earlier exhaustion, when I get to bed, I’m wide awake, lying on my back, hands behind my head, watching the shadows play across the ceiling when my door creaks open revealing a shadow that’s shaped very much like Tess.

Her hair is wild and untamed, falling in waves over her shoulders. Her eyes are sleepy and not quite awake, but not quite asleep either.

I blink at the image of her, thinking maybe I fell asleep and am dreaming.

“Tess?”

Without hesitating she walks to my bed, pulls the blankets back and crawls under them, scooting until she’s pressed against my side, her injured arm draped over my chest, her leg flung over mine. She buries her nose in the space between my shoulder and chin and releases a deep sigh.

Stunned, I don’t move, afraid to break whatever trance she seems to be in.

After a few minutes I slowly pull my arms out from behind my head and place one on her back, urging her closer, while the other comes across her body and cups her shoulder.

Only then do I sigh just as deeply as she did and smile up at the ceiling.

“You okay?” I whisper.

“Mmm. I missed you today.”

“I missed you, too.”

She rubs her nose into my shoulder as her body melts into mine.

“I like you,” she whispers. “A lot.”

I love you.

Considering that for eighteen years I swore I’d never love another woman; the words aren’t as frightening as they should be. Instead, they feel exactly as they should—they feel like fate.

I can’t declare my feelings even if I’m biting the words back. First of all, she’s drunk and when I do tell her I want her to remember it. Second, it’s too fast for her and I don’t want to frighten her away.

As I tighten my hold on her I can practically hear the bricks in her walls cracking and crumbling.

I don’t know what changed from last night and I don’t care.

She’s here in my bed and that’s more than I’d ever hoped for when I walked in the door tonight.

The rest we’ll figure out. Tomorrow, the next day, next week, or next month. We’ve got time.

“I like you a lot a lot,” she mumbles.

I swallow the lump of emotion swelling inside me. “I like you a lot a lot, too.”

I can feel her lips curve into a smile against my skin.

This is what I was waiting for. This is why I couldn’t go to sleep. This is what’s been missing from my life. I needed Tess by my side. For tonight. For always. A companion. Love.

Tess.