Page 11 of Every Broken Piece

Chapter eleven

Tess

M onday comes and I wonder how Gabe’s meeting went with his client after he delivered the bad news. While I feel for the client, I feel more for Gabe. It's sometimes hard to figure out people's emotions through text, he seemed upset that the news wouldn’t be good.

I keep my work phone close all day, even taking it into the bathroom with me, but he doesn’t text. In fact, I don’t hear from him at all on Monday.

The same goes for Tuesday.

I still send him my good morning texts, but they go unanswered as they always have.

I totally read more into our Saturday morning texting than I should have and that’s on me. How many times do I have to tell myself that men like Gabriel Strong aren’t interested in women like Theresa James?

On Wednesday my personal phone rings and I lunge for it, my heart pounding.

I don’t know why I think it’s Gabe. He doesn’t have my personal number and if he needed something he’d text my work phone.

It’s a number I don’t recognize so I let it go to voicemail, but the person doesn’t leave a message. Probably a robocall.

I receive a few more of those calls throughout the day but ignore them. They always seem to come in batches, these calls.

Amelia: What do you want to do for your birthday?

Me: What birthday?

Amelia: Oh, no. You’re not gonna hide away on your birthday. You have a month to figure it out. Let me know what you want to do

I sigh. I’ll be turning thirty next month and I don’t want to think about it.

Birthdays for me are weird. I don’t have family to celebrate with.

Not to mention I wouldn’t know how to celebrate considering I’ve never had a birthday party like other kids, or a birthday cake, or even birthday presents.

I was in grade school when I realized birthdays were a thing saw other kids bringing treats on the day they were born.

When I asked my mother when my birthday was she asked me why I'd want to know.

Amelia wanting to celebrate ratchets up my anxiety so I push the thought away in the false hope that she'll forget about it.

My week rolls on. I don’t hear from Gabe at all, but Mary assigns me another client.

I’m now fully booked. This many clients becomes a juggling act that I'm not happy with for fear it will affect the quality of my work, but I can’t say no because Mary will question my work and make comments about me not being able to handle a harder workload.

This new one is a pro baseball player who needs help cleaning up his social media reputation.

I look him up online. He’s cute with shaggy brown hair and a warm smile, but he does nothing for me.

Not that I need to be attracted to my clients, but I can’t help but compare him to Gabe’s genteel sophistication and maturity.

I shake my head. I’ve never had these thoughts before Gabe and they’re completely inappropriate. I need to focus or these balls I'm juggling will start falling.

I schedule a video conference with my new client and amazingly enough, he’s on board with actually talking to me face to face—virtually, that is. Unlike my other client.

Thursday and Friday fly by. It’s amazing how much work just one more client adds.

By Friday night I’m ready to climb into my comfy clothes and snuggle into my couch. Even though I work from home and most of my communication is through email, I’m drained. Just thinking of talking to another person makes my chest feel tight.

However, I’m also lonely, which I know is weird. I don’t think people realize what true loneliness feels like, knowing there’s no one to come home to. No one to even notice if you come home. No one to talk about your day with. No one to snuggle into and watch movies with.

Amelia’s reminder of my approaching birthday makes me think that maybe this year I’ll treat myself and get a cat.

I’ve never had a pet before and I've always wanted one. I could never trust my mom or my sister with animals. And for a long time I never knew if I’d have to pick up and leave quickly.

Dragging a pet along wouldn’t have been ideal.

But my life has calmed down in the last two years.

For the first time ever I feel like I can settle in and not have to worry about my past catching up to me.

This is by far the longest I’ve stayed in the same city.

Maybe a cat is the next step to finally putting down roots.

My work phone pings with a text and because it’s sitting on the table beside me, I glance at it.

GS: Going bar hopping tonight?