Page 34 of Every Broken Piece

Chapter thirty-three

Tess

I will not panic.

I will not panic.

I will not panic!

Furiously I type my password into my work computer. The first three attempts said the email address wasn’t valid. I thought maybe I typed it wrong, so I tried again. And again. And again.

I power up my work phone, but it won’t turn on. It hasn’t been plugged in since before the attack so maybe it’s dead.

“Spitfire? You okay?” Gabe’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

“Just trying to log into my work computer but it seems I’m locked out.

” I hear the tremor in my voice caused by frustration and this bone crushing weariness weighing me down.

It’s not just the attack and the resulting injuries.

It’s not just the concussion. It’s everything.

It’s the inevitable reappearance of my mother who refuses to leave me alone.

It’s the constant looking over my shoulder, planning an escape, never able to lay down roots.

I’m angry and sad. I’m thinking of what it felt like to wake up on top of Gabe and our soft, exploration of kisses, and wanting more lazy afternoons with your person.

I’m heartbroken because that kind of life is a hopeless dream and I’m angry because he made me think it was a possibility when it’s not.

Gabe pushes away from the doorframe to drop onto the single bed beside the desk, his brows scrunched in concern. “You’re not supposed to be on the computer.”

“Yeah, well, tell that to my bank account. I have bills to pay and not working is a luxury I can’t afford. My clients are counting on me and my apartment manager is counting on my rent payment.” Not to mention the hospital bills. I don’t even want to think how much those are going to be.

I stab at the keys one by one, going slow so I don’t mess up. My head is pounding, making it hard to concentrate. It doesn’t help that the letters on the keyboard are swimming. The panic I said I wouldn’t give in to is making tears build in my eyes.

“Tess.”

I ignore him. How can he possibly understand not being able to pay rent? He owns the freaking building he lives in. He has tenants who pay him .

I hit enter. A red box pops up telling me I’ve been locked out and need to call my administrator.

I lower my head into my hands, but my forehead hits my wrist brace, and I draw in a frustrated hiss. Okay. It’s okay. I’m okay. This is simply another obstacle I have to overcome. Another in a long line, but I’m an expert at landing on my feet. I can do this.

Gabe leans across me and with a soft snap, gently closes the laptop. Grabbing the edge of my chair, he swivels it around until I’m facing him.

“We need to talk.”

I blink the tears away. No one has time for tears. I have to catch up on a week’s worth of work. I have to pack. I have to figure out how much is left in my savings and if I can afford to rent a U-Haul or be forced to leave some of my stuff behind.

“Please don’t feel obligated to stay,” I say.

He huffs out a breath. “Tess, enough. I don’t feel obligated and I’m not going anywhere.”

“ Why? ” I yank my hands from his. Pain shoots through my wrist and I cradle it against my stomach.

How I’m going to carry all those boxes down four flights of steps with a sprained wrist, I don’t know.

I’ll figure it out. Just like I figure everything out.

“You know nothing about me,” I whisper. “I’m not the same girl in person than I am in texts. ”

“I know enough, and I don’t believe there are two different Tess James. We’re all different sides of the same coin.”

I lean forward with the urgency to warn him. Maybe if I give him a little bit about myself, he’ll see I’m not the person he thinks I am and he’ll leave. “You can’t be around me. You don’t know. You don’t understand.”

He mirrors my movement until our noses are inches apart, and we’re staring into each other’s eyes. “I know enough,” he repeats.

I jerk back because being so close to him makes me think of waking up on top of him and how warm and safe I felt and how much I liked kissing him. “You think you know enough, but you don’t.”

“Tell me, then. Tell me what you think I should know.”

I pull my hand from his. No way am I telling him anything more. He’ll want to try to save me when there’s no saving me. There’s only running and hiding and a man like Gabriel Stone can’t run and can’t hide.

“I don’t want you here. That should be enough.”

His blue eyes narrow. “Liar.”

My spine snaps straight. “What did you just call me?”

“I see the fear in your eyes. I see the battle going on inside you.” He points toward the office door. “That kiss out there certainly wasn’t you telling me to get lost.”

He hooks his foot in the leg of my chair and rolls me closer to him.

“Let’s make this clear once and for all.

I’m not going anywhere no matter how many times you tell me to leave.

I’m not giving up on you no matter how many people have in the past. I’m not abandoning you to whatever it is you think you need to run from.

” He pulls my chair between his spread knees until I’m right up against the bed and he’s right in my face. “Understand?”

I want to believe him, but reality is my only truth. “You say that now but when things get tough, you’ll take off.”

He leans even closer and whispers, “Never.”

He will. They all do.

Suddenly he’s holding my chin between his thumb and forefinger, his touch gentle, his ring finger skimming the bruise on my jaw. “Look at me, Tess. Really look at me. I. Am. Not. Leaving. You.” He releases my chin and sits back, looking smug.

Don’t believe in fantasies and fairy tales because those types of things don’t happen to girls like you, Tess.

He taps my laptop. “We need to talk about this.”

“I know I’m behind on your stuff. Tomorrow I’ll call Mary, my manager, and have her reset my password.” I frown at my computer. Amelia said she told Mary about my accident the day after it happened. There’s probably just some IT issue going on.

“Do you know how I found out about your attack?”

I shake my head.

“Monday morning, I received an email from Jacob Davis. My new VA.”

My gaze flies to his. “What?”

“I called Mary because I was so pissed they took you away from me. She confirmed that Jacob is my new VA because...” He drops his head and runs a hand through his beard. “Shit.”

No, no, no, no. Please, no.

Without my job I have no money to live. No means of escape.

“I’m sorry, Spitfire.” He squeezes my knee. “I’ll fix this. I don’t want you to worry about anything because I’ll fix it.”

“They let me go? Wh-Why? Was it because I took time off?” I had the PTO. I never use my sick time, so I had enough.

He releases my knee to wrap his large hand around the back of my neck, fingers skimming the sensitive skin there. “Tess... Fuck. This is my fault. All my fault. And I’ll make it right. I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

I frown. “How is this your fault?”

He turns his head away and swallows. “When Amelia called Mary.” Another swallow. “They found our text messages. Mary said you... we ...violated the no fraternization policy.”

My hand goes to my chest, pressing against my pounding heart. I push a foot against the bed frame and roll myself away from him.

Gabe’s hand slides from my neck and drops to the bed. Pity. Sorrow. It’s all written in his eyes. This is why he won’t leave me? Because he thinks it’s his fault I lost my job? I’m a problem he needs to fix?

See? This is why you shouldn’t trust people. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with appeasing his guilt.

“I don’t blame you for this,” I say. “I knew the rules and I violated them. You don’t have to stay to make this right.”

“You think I feel obligated?” He shakes his head.

“You got it wrong, Spitfire. I’m not staying because of obligation.

I’m staying because you mean something to me.

Because when Mary told me you were no longer my VA, I felt this.

..loss. Because those late night texts saved me from a loneliness I’ve been living with for too damn long.

Yes, I want to make this right. Yes, I want to see you heal.

” He pulls the chair back to him. At this point I might end up with whiplash with the way we’re driving this chair around.

“I want to help you not because I feel guilty, but because I care and want to get to know you better. Will you let me help you?”

There's a war going on inside me but to be honest, I've been fighting one war or another all my life and I'm so tired of fighting alone. Of having no one on my side. I don’t want to think four steps ahead.

I want to reach for something I want instead of something I need.

So I do what I've never done before, what I've been scared of for years. I give in.

“Yes,” I whisper.