Page 74 of Eternal

Declan shakes his head, breaking our stare. “It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done, and there’s no going back.”

I’m not surprised he avoids the question. And even if I should care, I don’t. He’s right. It doesn’t matter what happened back then when there’s no changing the outcome of it now. It’s why I’ve never understood if atonement is an actual thing. No amount of amends can completely erase someone’s sins.

Alex is burned, scarred, and locked in a psychiatric ward. Nothing can give him back what he’s lost, and Declan knows that.

Declan’s thumb grazes my bare shoulder, tickling my skin. He might not even realize he’s doing it as his stare is set in the distance. He’s never gentle, and he’s never sweet when it comes to me. But somehow, slowly, something is changing.

“You aren’t the only one who goes to see him, you know,” Declan says, staring off into the distance. “I was there a couple of days ago myself.”

“Patience lets you see Alex?” My eyebrows pinch, and Declan chuckles.

“Why would I need her permission?”

“I guess you don’t.” The Lancasters have Sigma ties that extend beyond Alex, so his parents probably wouldn’t have an issue with it. “But she blames you for what happened.”

“Patience doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” Declan’s jaw tenses, and I sense he’s probably had a similar confrontation with her. “And I don’t give a fuck if she ever does. Alex knows where I stand now, and that’s all that matters.”

“So you talk to Alex?” I look up at Declan. “Has he ever said anything back?”

Declan meets my gaze, still rubbing circles on my shoulder as he watches me. “No.”

It was too much to hope that his writing meant he was getting better, so I guess Patience is right.

“How was your chat with your future fiancé?” Declan asks, changing the subject with a fresh bitterness to his tone. “Jase sure didn’t waste any time tonight.”

“It was fine.” I shrug, looking through the windows of the house and seeing Jase talking to one of Mark Gallagher’s daughters. “He seems nice.”

Declan hums, watching Jase like I am.

“Did you know my dad was trying to set me up tonight? Is that why you came?”

“I assumed. Jase said he was going to a dinner party here, and it didn’t take much to put two and two together.”

I watch Jase through the window. “This whole charade will only delay my dad’s plans for me for so long. You know that, right? Eventually, this comes to an end, and we’re both back where we started.”

“Trying to make up excuses to run already, huh?”

“More like trying to understand why you’re doing this when the end result will be the same.”

“I told you—”

“You have your reasons.” I roll my eyes. “I know. And you want dirt on my father or whatever your dad has you up to. But you’re wasting your time, Declan. Whatever you’re looking for, I’m not going to remember.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

I’ve never thought of Declan as an optimist, but he sounds like it tonight.

“How did you get your dad to come around so easily?” I ask, looking back through the window. “He seemed pissed when we walked into the party together. And then, the next thing I knew, he was inviting himself on my family’s hunting trip. What did you say to him to convince him to be happy about you dating me? I always thought—”

I cut myself off, the words clogging in my throat.

“What did you think?” Declan asks when I don’t finish my sentence.

I tuck my hair behind my ear. “You know what I thought, Declan. Everyone in there has said it either to my face or behind my back. It’s no secret what people think of me. And maybe they’re right. Ask any of them, and they’ll say I’m one meltdown away from ending up down the hall from Alex.”

Declan grabs my jaw, turning my face to his. The intensity of his eyes rips straight through the barriers I usually keep up around him.

“They know nothing about you,” he says through gritted teeth. “And you don’t belong there, no matter what any of them says.”