Page 126 of Eternal

“That’s not what this is.”

“Then what is it?” I ask. “A deal to support your father’s campaign? Guilt because you couldn’t stop me from running into the road three years ago? A fantasy you’re chasing? What is this really, Declan? Your guilt over me nearly killing myself?”

The last two words come out in a whisper as I nearly choke on my own admission.

I tried to die.

For the first time, I’m admitting that to myself, and somehow, it feels like a weight off my shoulders. I’m no longer hiding from it. I’m facing it.

I wanted to die.

But I’m still here, no matter how hard that is most days. And I want to fight to be here as long as I can. I might still be bleeding from these wounds, but through it all, I want to live.

“You know what this is.” Declan reaches for my hand. “What we are… You’re mine. And I’m yours.”

“Your father will never let us be together. My dad wasn’t the only one who was friends with—”

I can’t say Weston’s name. Not out loud. Not yet.

“I know.” Declan grabs the sides of my face, forcing me to look at him. “He’s a liar and a hypocrite. I don’t care what deals have been made; none of them mean anythingto me. You’re it for me, Tealene Donovan. You always have been.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Really?” He grabs my wrists and plants my palms on his chest. “Remember when you asked me what these letters meant? Why I chose to have that word carved into my chest?”

I swallow hard, nodding.

“It was for you, Teal, whether you realize it or not. It’s because of what you said.” His grip on my wrists tightens. “You said nothing good stays; only darkness is eternal. But that’s a lie because you’ve been burrowed under my skin for as long as I can remember. And even if at the time I thought it was because I hated you, it wasn’t. You and I are something more. Something bigger. And what you do to me is greater than any good or evil. You are the only thing eternal for me, Teal.”

His words spill out so fast I can barely make sense of them. They rush straight from his heart like he’s split his vein so he can pour himself out for me.

“I thought I knew who I was and what I was loyal to, but with every letter carved into my chest for them, it was you who was echoing in my head. It was your eyes staring back when I closed mine. You make me feel things I was born to resist and deny. But I can’t deny you. I need you, Teal. As bad as you wanted to die is as bad as I needed you to live. I needed you to be mine.”

My fingers stretch out on his chest, tears stinging my eyes. “Then why push me away? Why wait all these years to say that?”

“Because I was an idiot.” He brushes the tear rolling down my cheek. “You know that. I’m better at breaking things than fixing them. I didn’t know how to feel about us or how to admit that the things I felt for you were changing, so I buried them. I denied it. You needed to heal, and I couldn’t be something else in your life tearing you apart.”

“Declan—”

“I shouldn’t have waited so long. I know that now,” he cuts me off. “I thought I was protecting you and that it was for the best. After Alex brought you to the hospital, you seemed to get better, and that’s all that mattered. And when you finally started at Briar, I realized you didn’t remember me being there that night. You hated me like you always did, and I thought it was for the better. I was in denial. But I’m not anymore.”

“What are you saying then?”

His jaw tenses as he watches me. “I love you.”

“You can’t love me.” I try to shake my head.

His grip stops me. “Says who?”

“Because I’m no good, Declan. I’m broken. You’d have to go against your family just to be with me. Against Sigma House.”

“So? They’re the reason we’re in this position. Manipulating us for their own benefit.” He swallows hard. “It’s time they’re taught a lesson.”

“You say that like you’re going to kill someone.” I swallow hard. “Wait. Have you killed someone?”

Declan’s stare is so cold, and I regret the question the momentit’s out.

“Where do you think I’ve been the past few days?” he asks.