Page 122 of Eternal

Declan’s eyebrows pinch, and I can tell he doesn’t want me to change the subject, but he allows it. “What about us?”

“I thought maybe we were meant to be together. That all this hate was just a mask for whatever was actually buried underneath. I thought maybe you had good in you after that night in the garden. Funny, right?”

He doesn’t answer, standing in front of me, watching me sway back and forth.

“Maybe I just wanted to wake up from my nightmare so bad that I thought you were the answer.” I dig my nails into my palms. “It was something to cling to. You were nice then. Do you remember?”

Declan nods.

“I’m not a romantic, just so you know.” I point at him. “My doctors say that my mind seeks out what’s bad for me, so that’s all this is. You’re bad for me, and so my mind seeksyou out.”

“Teal—”

“Don’t worry, I’m not in love with you, Declan. I’m just making peace with my flaws. Confessing my sins. Whatever you want to call it. I’m coming clean. This is my baptism.”

“Why would you need that?”

Another pair of headlights breaks through the darkness, and I watch the car’s approach.

“No.” Declan grabs my hand when he sees what I’m staring at, but he can’t keep me here.

No one can. I’m already gone.

“Just let me go, Declan.” I try to fight him, but it only makes him hold tighter. “Please just let me go. I can’t think about what he did to me anymore.”

“Who?” Declan’s eyebrows pinch. “And what did he do?”

A tear slips from my lashes, and inside, I’m flooded. My smile falls, and my fear swims through my veins.

“No one.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know.” I plant my hand on his chest and feel his heart beating.

Thump.

Thump.

“No one understands me.”

“I didn’t say that.” He frowns. “We need to get you out of here, Teal. You need a doctor. It’s going to be okay—”

“Okay.” I laugh, taking a step back. “Do you want to know what’s wrong with this world, Declan?”

“What?”

My temples throb, and my words nearly choke in my throat.

“When things are okay. That’s what’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong with being okay?”

“It’s a lie.” I laugh. “Okay exists in blips between things being good and things being bad, but in the end, the bad always wins. Have you ever wondered why good things are always so easy to lose, but bad things stick with us? Suns and stars burn out, but darkness is eternal.” I swallow hard, clutching my stomach. “Whatever hurts in me is eternal.”

“Sounds serious.”

“It is.” I close my eyes. “But I’m crazy, so you shouldn’t listen to me.”