Page 4 of Emerald Moon (Pitch Mountain Pack #2)

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Jo cracked their eyes open, yawned, and realized Cass’ side of the tent was empty. They could hear noise outside. Cursing under their breath, they wriggled out of their sleeping bag and tried their best to look somewhat presentable before they zipped open the tent.

“Morning!” Jo called out to Cass’ back with all the very, very normal cheer they could muster. Their foot caught on the tent and they stumbled out.

Cass turned.”Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Super well,” Jo lied, acting like they hadn’t thought about what happened until their brain finally wore itself out and let them sleep. “You?”

“I slept well, but I rarely have trouble sleeping.” Cass finished putting a foldable chair back in its bag and turned towards Jo. “About last night —“

“We’re good!”

“What?”

“You. Me —“ Jo gestured between them. “We’re good. We’re all good. No worries.”

“No worries?”

“Yeah, nothing happened and we’re good. Nothing to worry about.”

Cass looked puzzled, but she nodded. “Alright then.”

“Can I help with anything?”

Cass was silent for a long moment, her eyes traveling the length of Jo’s body. Jo felt her stare and chewed their lip under the attention, wishing she would say something.

“It’s mostly done,” Cass said.

“Sorry I didn’t get up earlier to help.”

“It’s fine. Like you said, we’re all good, right?”

Cass’ tone made them unclench their jaw and relax their shoulders. It was all good. Nothing, especially something that didn’t actually happen, could mess up the good day they’d had the day before. Jo wasn’t going to let something weird ruin this day either.

“I was thinking,” they said as they started helping pack the campsite, “that yesterday you let me play a lot of Dolly, but today I’d like it if you could share your music on the drive back.”

“Sure, but my taste in music is a bit weird,” Cass said.

“Weird is good! What kind of weird are we talking about here?”

“It’s all over the place. I don’t have curated playlists and it means that I could have a Dvo?ák piece followed by a pop song in Korean.”

“I love it.” Jo grinned. “My music taste is like that, too. I just listen to whatever scratches an itch in my brain and, when I find it, I listen to the same song over and over until I literally can’t take it anymore and it’s, like, the itch is scratched, I add it to a playlist, and I’m good.”

“An itch in your brain, huh? I can kind of understand that. I have things I like, but I find most of my new music through my packmates. I listen to a lot of talk radio and podcasts in the car, though. I have a few birding ones I like.”

“We can listen to those, too! Whatever you like.” Jo smiled and made an effort to match Cass’ sincerity from the day before. “I’d like to get to know you better, and listening to things you like would be great.”

Jo had Cass drop them off at the bakery so she wouldn’t have to drive all the way up the long gravel road that led to the Pitch Mountain Pack house.

Cass waved goodbye as she pulled away and Jo returned the gesture, thinking back to the very eclectic mix of music and podcast pieces they listened to on the way back.

They’d only made it a few steps when their phone vibrated in their back pocket.

It was Krista asking if they’d had a good time with Cass, punctuated by Krista’s characteristic exclamation points.

Jo caught her up on listening to Dolly in the car together, the waterfall hike, and the drive back today, but they left out the part where they ran as wolves.

That felt like something for just them and Cass.

There was one other thing they left out, so they let the conversation drift until they worked up the nerve to mention it.

Their heart pounded as they hit send.

Also maybe we sort of almost kissed last night?

Skfhdjfhdjkhakldci

What now?!!!! How did you not lead with that?!!!!

Because nothing happened! I said almost

And I don’t even know if that’s what it was

People don’t try and kiss me, Krista

I don’t know why not!! You’re super cute.

Cass might think so, too!!! You never know.

Holy crap!!! Tell me everything and I’ll decide

Not much to tell

She sort of leaned in

I panicked

Hid in my sleeping bag and blocked all chances of talking about it this morning

I mean, Cass is usually into women, but like I said

YOU’RE CUTE SO IT’D MAKE SENSE!!!!

Jo felt relief wash over them. That was it. Cass was into women. There’s no way she’d be into Jo, unless Cass was ignoring how they introduced themselves, and she didn’t seem to be the type to disrespect someone’s identity. She was way too thoughtful to do that.

Thanks, but you said it yourself

She’s into WOMEN which I am not, so case closed, no kiss, just friends

I probably read it all wrong anyway — you know what I’m like

a w k w a r d

Krista was in the middle of typing a response when a number flashed across Jo’s screen. Their entire body clenched. They stopped walking, closed their eyes, and picked up the call. “Hey mom.”

“Hey sweetie. It’s good to hear your voice since you don’t call much anymore.”

There was their mother’s passive aggressive nonsense. It was constant, but usually she tried to act civilized for a few phrases before diving back in.

“I was camping. Bad cell reception.”

“Not for the whole week, surely.”

“Nope. Just for a day!” Jo replied with fake cheer, trying to really hit home the fact that they could call, they had the time to call, but they chose not to. It was their own sort of passive rebellion, the most resistance they could muster when faced with their mother.

“Your sister is finalizing plans for the wedding. Are you still going to come?”

“Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t miss it.” No matter how much being around their family bothered them, Jo wouldn’t miss June’s wedding for anything.

They hadn’t spoken much lately with June busy with med school, but it didn’t change that, for a long time, it’d been the two of them against the world, sticking together, especially since their dad had passed.

Everything changed then. Their mom took a hard turn into being awful to be around and all Jo and June had were each other. It’d been about eight years, but none of them had actually processed it, and definitely not together.

“I just don’t know sometimes. You’ve got your own little life without us now, don’t you?”

The word “little” rubbed Jo the wrong way. Having a life away from them was the whole point of moving away and joining a werewolf pack. “Yep, and things are going great!”

“Your little problem isn’t getting in the way?”

Jo’s “little problem” was their bipolar disorder. That was the closest their mother could get to talking about it and accepting it as a real thing.

“Nope, like I said. Doing great,” Jo replied, sharper than intended.

The truth was it was always in the way. Even when Jo was doing well, the threat of another depressive episode was looming right around the corner, even with their medication.

It was better now, but they weren’t magically cured.

They’d been doing well for a while. They were due for another episode and they always snuck up on Jo no matter how many times they’d been through it.

“That’s so good to hear, honey. Have you given any more thought to the college programs I sent you?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’d just love to see you succeed. You were always so smart. You’re wasting your talents at that little bakery.”

The word “little” again set off something in Jo. Everything in their life was little to her, like it was all some adorable choice Jo had made for now before they did something real.

“I like working at the bakery, mom.” This time, the sharp tone was intended.

“Well, sure, it’s fun for now. But what are you going to do? Be there forever?” She laughed.

“Maybe. I think I’d like that.”

“You think that now. Trust me, I’m just looking out for your future. I want what’s best for you.”

“This is what’s best for me.”

“You’re still young. You’ve got time to figure things out still, but time won’t stand still forever!”

“I’m thirty.”

“Right, so you’ve got time, but not a lot. Now’s the moment to start making those changes to make your future better. You’ve already made some choices, like the whole wolf thing, but it’s not too late for everything else.”

That was enough. “I’m almost home. I got to go.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. We all just want what’s best for you.”

“I already know what’s best for me.”

“You think that, sweetie, but with age comes more perspective than what you have now. But, I’ll let you go. Take a look at those programs, will you? And keep an open mind. You never know who you might meet at the wedding! Or in a new class! A good man can help ground you.”

Jo knew that wasn’t true for them, but it might have been true for their mother. Life was different when their father was still alive. Their mom was an entirely different person, someone who had been pleasant to be around, if a bit distant.

“Okay, I will,” Jo lied.

“I push because I care, honey.”

If that were true, she wouldn’t try to change everything about Jo every time they spoke.

If that were true, they could have a conversation without it devolving into this.

Jo wanted to say something like that, but the words wouldn’t come.

Talking to their mother made them feel so small.

The difference between who they were around the pack and who they were around their family was wider every day that Jo learned to like themselves a little more.

The wider that gap grew, the angrier they got whenever their mother tried to make them feel small and helpless again.

“I’ve got to go. Bye.”