Page 82 of Elijah

Elijah

aged 28

As we made our way over to the café, I couldn’t help but steal sly looks at Amy. The weather was a little cooler than it had been and she was wearing a tan leather jacket that stopped at her waist, with boots the same colour over her dark skinny jeans. With her hair hanging loose over her shoulders and down her back, she looked gorgeous and I could see glimpses of the seventeen year old girl I’d fallen in love with – the flashing, amber eyes and thick swathe of swishing hair made my chest and fucking jeans a whole lot tighter.

Taking a deep breath, I thought of Mia and my stomach knotted. I needed to remember that I’d made a commitment to her and thinking about Amy in any other way than a friend, a friendly ex, wasn’t fair to my girlfriend.

“It’s gone a little cooler,” I said, zipping up my jacket.

“Yeah,” Amy replied. “Although, it’s supposed to be getting warmer later in the week.”

We looked at each other and grinned.

“Shit, you’d think we were total strangers.” I shook my head and groaned. “Let’s start again. How you doing?”

“Well, that’s not much better.” Amy laughed and shook her head.

“It’s either that or ask you how work is going, so at least asking about you might spark a conversation.”

We laughed together and continued walking, chatting about life in general. The atmosphere was relaxed, but when we sat at an outside table with our coffees, it changed. We looked out across the park and the chestnut tree was in our line of vision. Both spotting it at the same time, the air suddenly filled with emotion and pain.

“Do you really think he’d have been in a band?” Amy asked, wrapping her hands around her coffee mug. “Neither of us are musical, so I wonder why we ever thought Dylan would be.”

Her smile was bright, but I could see the pain behind her eyes. I recognised it, because it resembled my own whenever I thought of our baby.

Losing it had hit us both harder than I would have ever expected. Five years and we were still in pain. Maybe it had affected us so deeply because it was the beginning of the end for us, I had no idea, all I knew was my heart still ached for the child that we both wanted so badly.

“He’d have had our amazing genes,” I replied. “He’d have been brilliant at everything.”

Amy gave me a dazzling smile and this time it seemed genuine, without any grief behind it.

“I agree,” she said, nodding and looking into the distance. “He would have been a handsome little devil too.”

“Obviously, because he’d have looked like me.”

Amy’s head snapped my way and she stared at me wide-eyed.

“Ego much.”

I burst out laughing and smoothed a hand over my shaven head.

“Well you know it’s hard to ignore when you’re this good looking.”

“I totally understand,” Amy sighed. “I mean, you could actually be a model.”

I grinned and felt a surge of pride, or maybe that ego she’d mentioned, when I noticed her blush and squirm a little in her chair. I still affected her as much as she affected me, and while I liked the idea, I wasn’t sure it was a good thing.

“How are Matty and his girlfriend doing?” I asked, veering us toward a safer conversation.

“Oh, they’re fine,” Amy replied brightly. “Absolutely thrilled by it all, considering their age and circumstances.”

“What are they, twenty-one?”

“Yeah, almost twenty-two, but they’re ready. It’s what they want and I know they’re going to be fantastic parents.”

I wanted to say like we would have been, but the similarities with Amy and I were too much and I didn’t want to bring the mood down again.

“Did you say they’re living with your mum and dad?”