Page 45 of Electricity

D arius was waiting beside our lockers when we walked in. “Got your message,” he said to me and, “Good to see you,” to Lacey.

“Thanks for helping,” Lacey said.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “Can we, uh—” he asked, and angled away from Lacey. I met him there, all of two feet away. “Are we still going to prom?”

“That’s a really good question that I don’t have the answer to just yet,” I whispered. If Lacey wanted to stay home on Friday watching movies and eating chocolate, I was best-friend contractually obligated to stay with her. “Is that okay? I mean, unless you wanted to invite someone else?—”

“No, I just like knowing the plan.”

“The plan is there is no plan yet,” I said.

“Okay, well, second awkward question—are you going to want a ride home?”

“Um—” I didn’t want to not ride with Lacey, but?—

“I can hear you both,” Lacey interrupted.

She appeared cool and collected. I’d been so rough this morning I hadn’t realized it, but she had make-up on and was wearing what was for her high fashion: tight enough jeans and a scoop-necked shirt.

Armor— definitely armor. “She needs a ride,” Lacey told Darius. “Because I have plans afterschool.”

“Which are?” I asked, surprised.

“Private.” At seeing the look on my face she went on: “Please. I mean private for about twenty-four hours, and then I tell you everything, like normal.”

“All right then. I’ll see you in the parking lot about three-fifteen, Jessie,” Darius said and stepped away.

“Have a good day,” I called after him, like a kindergartener’s mom, and immediately felt stupid for doing so.

Lacey gave me side-eye but loved me enough not to say anything.

I walked to all my classes leaving myself open to Lightning Land, ignoring the way that using my powers made me feel like someone was scratching to get out inside my skull.

I was trying to listen for anything Lacey-related, but I only got prom-madness instead.

It was bad enough that every right angle in the school was festooned with crepe paper and that poorly glued signs were creating perpetual glitter-rain—the trash on all the walls was just as present on the airwaves—and in biology class, where Sarah was waiting.

“How’s operation dress recovery going?”

No need to tell her that my attendance odds were currently a coin-toss. “Surprisingly well. Apparently my mother minored in home ec or something. And it fits—so tell your sister thanks.”

“Ehhh, I figured you needed it more than she did, and it was one of those forgiveness versus permission situations. You break the news to your mom about Liam?”

“Not yet. I just told her I’d have to go in with a junior accomplice, since Liam and I were both sophomores.”

“And she bought that?”

“It does happen,” I protested. “That’s how Kortney got in last year.”

Sarah gave me a look, one much the same as my mother would give me if and when she found out.

“My mom believes what she wants to believe,” I said. “And if she wants to believe that I’m going with Liam, who am I to correct her?”

“I am not sure who you are anymore, Jessica McMullen.”

“What?”

“Who are you and what have you done with the old Jessie? Old Jessie was blah-blah-blah college, blah-blah-blah grades.”

I felt sheepish. If you only knew. “Yeah, well, sometimes things change.”

Sarah gave me one of her wolfish smiles. “Don’t apologize—I like it.”

Lunch found Lacey and I sitting on our bench, making a concerted effort to only look at each other.

“How’s it been?” I asked.

She picked at the crust of her turkey sandwich. “Weird. I feel like everyone knows, Jessie.”

“That’s not true.”

“Can you prove that?”

I racked my brain. “Not really.”

“Good, because I was being rhetorical,” she said, sagging against the cement wall behind her.

“If it makes you feel better, all I’ve heard so far is a lot of party planning, condom shoplifting, and Rosie’s getting Plan B. I don’t know why she can’t make Todd use a condom. Or get herself on the pill. Maybe she’s just paranoid?”

Lacey rocked her head back and forth on the cement behind her. “If you started telling everyone’s secrets, the whole school would be in trouble.”

“Honestly, I’d rather not know all this. It was fun at first, but now…” I did a full-body shudder. It’d be different if scanning didn’t come with a price, like the continuous Brillo-pad scratch my brain felt right now over my left ear. “The only person who enjoys this much gossip is Sarah.”

Lacey’s eyes widened.

“What?” I asked warily.

“What if she knows? And she’s just not saying anything?”

“That’s super not-like her.”

“Up until three months ago, I would’ve said that ditching us was super-not like her too.”

She had a point. “But—Lacey—there’s no way. First off, I already accidentally read her phone. Secondly, Sarah would say something. When Danny showed Ryan a picture of my bra, she told me right away. If she hasn’t heard anything, then the word’s not really out there yet.”

“Or, she’s an amazingly good liar.”

“Do you really think she’s like that?”

“No. But—I didn’t think Danny was like how he turned out to be either, and apparently he’s like a serial monster. The only person I trust right now is you, Jessie.” She dropped her sandwich and grabbed both my hands. “Can you just ask her? For my sake? If she’s heard anything?”

“How’m I supposed to do that without telling her anything?”

“I don’t know.” The make-up she’d put on couldn’t hide the dark circles under her eyes, and she’d only pulled off the crust of her sandwich, flicking it out to the pigeons, not a bite of it had gone in her mouth.

If making it through half the day here, as circled by her fears as we were by hopeful sky-rats had done this to her—I squeezed her hands.

“I’ll try to think of something. No promises though, okay?” I said as I texted Sarah:

Hey, can I get a ride home today?

And to Darius:

Hey—I don’t need a ride anymore. I have a good reason.

Sarah’s Of course! came in just as Lacey squeezed my hands back. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” I said sincerely. They class bell rang and Lacey and I went our separate ways just as I got in Darius’s Sure. Then three tiny frightfully shivering emojis.

You and your good reasons.

I walked through the halls to chemistry still listening in.

I’d always felt a little superior to other kids in my grade—had to, really, to maintain some semblance of self-esteem—but snooping on everyone’s texts, posts, and photos, really confirmed it for me.

I mean, how much could they really care about one stupid night?

It wasn’t like it was going to change the rest of their life or anything.

I mean it wasn’t like they’d be going out with some boy—or girl—that they really cared about and hoped things would go well—for some values of well, what were those even?

—although they’d never really been on any dates before ever and had no idea how one should act on them except for what they’d read in magazines or watched on movies or TV.

….Okay, maybe I wasn’t so superior after all.

I sat down when I got to chemistry and Liam stopped by my desk on his way to his own.

“And Mason, too? Really?”

Whatever he was talking about didn’t deserve an answer. I rolled my eyes and ignored him until he went away.

I was out at Sarah’s car at 3:05, and she wasn’t out till 3:20, making me wonder if Lacey was right and she really had forgotten about us—or if I’d forgotten her car. I was peering inside to make sure that the trash in the back looked Sarah-appropriate when she walked up.

“Hey! Sorry about that—I had some things I needed to take care of.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“Oh, you know. Things,” she said, playing coy, hitting the open button on her car.

Important hide from your old best friend things? Or stupid things like having to change a tampon? Although Sarah was really likely to go ahead and tell me, if it was a tampon story.

“Well, I appreciate the ride,” I said, sliding into her car.

“Me too! I mean, I’m sorry we didn’t hang out this past weekend—things got busy—but I’m so glad that dress is working out for you. I can’t wait to see you at prom, Jessie. Do you know what you’re going to do with your hair? Updos are in this year.”

I listened to her with half of my brain, just like when I was in the other-world, only I wasn’t—the rest of me was trying to figure out how to gracefully segue our conversation without crashing it.

“Have you heard anything about prom itself?” I interrupted.

“It’s the Wizard of Oz themed. And a bunch of senior girls are going to show up with wicker baskets and stuffed Totos. Don’t copy them though—if you do they’ll get mad.”

“I meant—more like, slideshow type stuff.”

“Well well, look who wants to be popular now!” Her tone was teasing, not cruel—right? “It’s a junior-senior prom, Jessie. We’re not cool enough to be in it.”

“Who picks the photos?”

“I don’t know. The yearbook committee? The school paper? There’s nerds involved, for sure. We can turn in photos next year. I’ve got a special file for ones I’m saving on my phone.”

All of that sounded innocent enough. But I needed to know -know, for Lacey’s sake. “Does anyone ever…play jokes on anyone else?”

“I heard the DJ’s a joke. But, its Kansas, what can you do?” she said, lifting her hands off the wheel for a shrug. And soon we were in Ventana. I was no wiser but it was too late.

I sat down on the front porch of my trailer and sent Lacey:

Sarah doesn’t know.

Or, she was so dense she didn’t understand where I was leading, or she really was the world’s best actor. Sharing those thoughts with Lacey wouldn’t help though—and I really didn’t think Sarah knew anything. I had to give her the benefit of the doubt—that’s what half of friendship was.

My mother finished the dress that night, chattering about Liam all the while.

She’d told everyone at the bar and I prayed to God that it wouldn’t somehow get back to any member of the Lewis family.

We were the same age. Had my mom and Liam’s mom gone to high school together?

If they had, I was sure they didn’t hang out anymore.

When my mother’d finished hemming, she sat on the couch and sent Allie to bed.

“But it’s only seven!” Allie protested.

My mother got that look in her eye. “Go,” she said sharply, and Allie ran. Then she turned back to me, sweet as pie, patting the seat beside her. “Come over here, Jessie.”

“Sure, Momma.” Obedient and slightly frightened, I sat down.

“I—it’s just,” she took a sip of the beer she’d been milking on the end table and twisted her head in the air, apparently looking around for words. “You know I want you home by midnight, right?”

I nodded.

“Good. I mean it. Or I will leave the bar and hunt you down.”

I nodded again, more briskly.

“Good. But I’m not stupid. I know that there’s a lot of trouble you can get up to between the hours of seven and twelve PM. I know that there’ll be a lot of parties—and that Liam’s a very, very, popular boy.”

Oh God. This was going to be that conversation. I felt myself flushing as red as the dress I had on.

“I just wanted to talk to you now, before you get all boy-crazy. I know there’ll be chaperones at the event, and that they’ll keep a bible’s length between you two,” she said with a look . “But I know they can’t be everywhere at once, and they’re not out there with you with him in his truck cab.”

“Mom, I’m not going to?—”

“Shhh!” she said, pinching her fingers in mid-air to cut me off.

“Even though you say that now, tomorrow night you might feel differently—and who knows how he’ll behave.

” Her face took on a solemn expression. “I just—I don’t want you to do anything you regret later.

I don’t want you to do anything at all. I think you’re too young.

But if you’re going to be stupid, at least be smart and make him use a condom. ”

There were no words for how badly I was dying inside right now, how much I wished my body were an inanimate object, like a cushion on the couch.

She leaned forward, looking me directly in my eyes. “And if he does anything you don’t want to you, I don’t care how popular he or his family is, sweetheart—I’ll find him and cut his dick off.”

I blinked, resurrected from merging with upholstery. “Thanks, Momma.”

“You’re welcome.” She leaned forward and smooched my forehead the way that I smooched Allie’s, and then Barbara’s car honked once and she was out the door.