Page 40 of Electricity
H e didn’t say anything until we reached the parking lot. “Doesn’t she need some counseling? Or something?”
“Prolly, yeah.”
“Is she gonna get that?” He sounded incredulous.
“You met her mom.”
“I’m serious, Jessie.”
“I am too. I’ll try to be there for her. But she can’t tell anyone at school.”
“Why not?”
“Think about it. Lowly sophomore gets raped by popular senior baseball star? It’ll devolve from ‘what was she wearing?’ to ‘she’s a lying cunt’ in seconds.”
“I just—” he began, and I watched the consternation on his face.
“You think you’re gonna figure out some perfect scenario for this? You think she hasn’t tried? Or that I haven’t tried? You think you’re smarter than we are?”
His eyes studied me, then he shook his head. “But you can’t blame me for trying.”
I gave him a sad half-smile. “No, I can’t.”
We stood between our cars in the parking lot. I’d been running through scenarios for the last fifteen steps, and I knew what I had to do, but I wasn’t sure how to say it, or if he’d go along, but he spoke first.
“So that was what you couldn’t tell me, the other night.”
“Yeah. And it’s why I was at Liam’s party—I wanted to get close to Danny’s phone.
Even if that meant getting close to Danny,” I said, and shuddered, before rubbing sweaty palms against my jeans.
Why did other people get to have normal lives—and normal relationships? “Liam came by my place earlier today.”
“Why?”
“I’m really not sure. He wanted my help to study chemistry, and then invited me to his party—now he wants help with English, but he seems plenty smart.”
Darius tilted his head sideways. “Why’re you telling me?”
“Because I have to get close enough to Mason to touch his phone. And I only have seven days to do it—Liam’s my in.” I felt awkward in my own skin. “I’m gonna have to hang out with him.”
His face clouded. “You don’t owe me anything, Jessie.”
Was that good, or bad? “I just didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
He took a step back and shrugged his shoulders. “No, I get it, it’s okay.”
If he’d been a little more stoic I wouldn’t have caught it but I’d worn that look myself a hundred different times, the regret of watching someone else get picked ahead of me.
I stepped in quickly and kissed him before he could pretend I didn’t matter like it’d been his idea all along.
He stiffened in surprise, and then relaxed and kissed me back.
This time, standing, I was amazed at the ways our bodies fit together, how easy it was to lean into him, how right it felt when his hands looped around my waist. I pulled back to stare up at him.
“I like this. Even if I’m not sure what this is. Can we just put this on pause, until everything else is over?”
He stared down at me, equally intent, and I could feel him breathing. “I’ll be waiting.”
I dared to smile then. “Good. Now…can you do me one huge favor?”
“Which is?”
“I’m gonna need a date. You’re the only junior I know.”
His lips curved up and flashed me a perfect smile. “Jessie McMullen, are you asking me to prom?”
I stepped back. “You’re making this weird. I don’t want it to be weird.”
Darius laughed. “We’re waaaaaaaaay beyond that.”
I bent my head, embarrassed and shy and also a little desperate, because he was the only other person who knew what was going on. “Come on, Darius.”
“All right. I’ll go. You buying us tickets?”
I gave him a look.
“You’re not the only one who lost a job, you know,” he teased.
I was the one who’d asked, and it was only fair, but— “I don’t know how I’m going to get my mom to let me go, much less get a dress—there’s no way I can afford tickets.”
“I’m teasing—I’ve got it.”
“Thanks,” I told him, earnestly. “But—you can’t tell anyone. Not until I get close enough to Mason to.” I wiggled my fingers between us to indicate what I would do.
“I get it,” he said, looking down. “You have to save your friend. That’s what superheroes do.”
“Hooray,” I said, in a voice that sounded slightly overwhelmed.
“You need a better catchphrase than that,” he said, still smiling. “Shazam’s taken.”
I smiled a little back. Okay, so this was going to be the weirdest prom on record, but maybe I could keep a sense of humor about things. “Be-zap?”
He put his hand to his chin to consider it in a scholarly fashion. “Sure. Why not?”
And then we were just standing there, both a little too close and a little too far. He broke away first, beeping open his car. “See you on campus, Jessie.”
“Bye, Darius,” I said, and twisted away to walk to the Buick’s driver-side.
I got home, told my mom a palatable lie, and took care of the house and Allie until it was time for her to go to work, and us to go to sleep.
Then I tucked Allie in at 9 on the nose and spent another two hours up, compulsively checking ZB.
I wasn’t friends with Mason, but I had a feeling I could get to Danny after Friday night, so I girded my loins and sent him a friend request.
Thirty seconds later he accepted. Guess Sunday nights were slow for even popular kids.
Hey cutie.
Hey
I typed back, with my mind.
What’re you up to?
Not much.
Want to know what I’m up to?
I don’t know, do I?
I could be up to something. If you gave me the right reasons to get up
he typed, followed by a few suggestive emojis.
I squinted my eyes and thought I could feel the tendril of electrons that connected me to him. I knew exactly what he wanted—and worse yet, I was going to try to give it to him.
I looked around my room. My bra’d landed on the floor when I’d undressed and I hadn’t picked it up.
I took a picture of it before I lost my nerve and then inspected the photo.
Was there anything of my room visible? No.
Was there anything at all linking the bra back to me?
Other than the large cup-size, not really—it was just a normal slightly worn looking white bra on a field of generic brown carpeting.
It was the type of thing I could easily deny later, but that’d keep him intrigued for now.
He sent me a string of emojis that not even the Rosetta Stone could decipher.
You like that?
I texted back.
He only sent back one word:
More.
It’s a school night.
Don’t tease.
I sent back a series of smiles and butterflies.
See you tomorrow
and turned my phone off.
I turned my phone on again the next morning with trepidation.
Sure enough, I’d missed three other of Danny’s pleas—but he hadn’t wound up calling me a bitch, yet, which I thought was good.
Who knew. I got Allie ready and out the door a little early, then went back in to try harder on myself.
My mom and I were the same pale shade—her make-up would look right on me, unlike Sarah’s—and did myself up, waiting until I heard the elementary school bus land and take off again before going outside.
I didn’t want Allie to see that I was trying—I was too scared that she’d ask why.
Then I walked outside and braced myself for what was sure to be a thrilling ride with the other friendless ingrates on my side of Redson, scanning the top of the street for Lacey’s car, even though I was pretty sure she wouldn’t be going in today—and being surprised when a familiar truck rolled up.
Liam grinned at me from the driver’s seat. “Want a ride?”
I almost stuttered. What was he—why was he—it didn’t matter, he was. “Hells yes,” I said, and got in.
He glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes. “You, uh, look nice.”
I hid myself behind a wall of hair. “Don’t wear it off by looking too hard.”
“That can happen?”
“It’s a leading cause of death in sixteen year old girls,” I said, looping my hair behind an ear. His eyes were on the road, but he was still smiling.
That was what I wanted, right? Was I leading him on right now?
I was—or I was trying to—and I felt bad.
Why couldn’t we just be friends without me having to signal my intentions like those people that waved flags on aircraft carriers?
How come people like me felt bad for someone else assuming the wrong thing, even for an instant, when people like Danny never felt bad at all?
“So did you really want to study tonight, or what?” I tried to say in a flirty voice.
“Unless you wanted us to go out instead?” He gave me a shy smile and I felt even worse.
“I do like movies,” I said.
“Who doesn’t like movies?”
“Liars,” I joked. “If we go out, would it just be us?”
“Why?”
“Oh, you know,” I said with a shrug, as we stopped at a stoplight. “It’s always fun when a bunch of people go out together.” Because I so enjoyed hanging out with people I didn’t know, especially when they were two or more echelons above me on the popularity scale.
“Well, yeah,” he said, sounding as unsure as I was.
I wanted to blurt everything out right there, but then the light turned green and I managed to stop myself in time.
The rest of the drive in was awkward or maybe it was just me, I felt uncomfortable with everything, what I’d worn, who I was pretending to be, and I’d never been so excited to see the Redson High School parking lot before, not even on the bus.
“I’m sorry,” I said as he parked, apologizing for more than just being bad at conversations. “I bet Hailey was much better at this.”
Liam gave me a rueful look. “There’s a lot you don’t know about Hailey,” he said, and left it at that. “See you in chemistry?”
I gave him a tight smile. “Yeah. See you!” I said, and fled from the cab.