Page 41 of Electricity

“ N ice hair!” Sarah said, sitting down beside me in biology, almost late. “How was the rest of the party?”

“It was good.” I shrugged with both shoulders. Emily’s attempts to discredit me on ZB aside, no one else seemed to know about my near miss with Danny. “And, uh, Liam drove me in this morning.”

Her eyes widened in appreciation. “That is better than good. You do realize you’re the first girl Liam’s been hanging out with since he dumped Hailey, right?” she whispered as Ms. Liebel walked to the front of class.

“Thanks. No pressure.” I whispered back. “He came by on Sunday?—”

“Why?”

“Wanted to study. I couldn’t, I had plans.”

The height of her eyebrows said what she thought of me. “What could you’ve possibly been doing that was more important than Liam?”

Ms. Liebel rescued me by clapping her hands.

I caught Sarah at the end of class before she stood. “Hey—I want to do lunch today. At the fields.”

Her entire face brightened. “Sure. I’ll wait by the gates for you. Love you!”

My stomach was in knots by the time lunch came around. Had I brought my own lunch? No. And the pink card that got me free lunches wouldn’t let me leave the cafeteria again. Maybe Sarah would let me have some of hers.

I caught up to her by the gates and we hugged like we hadn’t seen each other in days and then walked out to the fields together.

None of her classes overlapped with Ryan’s because of their age difference, so this was her only chance to see him during the day, even if he was busy.

He trotted over to us once we’d sat down in the bleachers, like some kind of golden stallion, kissed her, nodded to me, and proceeded to be generally cool until Coach Griffon yelled at him to get back to work.

Where oh where was Danny? I leaned forward while Sarah chatted, scanning the field.

There was a thundering coming down the bleachers behind us and both Sarah and I squealed in surprise turning to find him looming.

“Hey,” he said. He was bigger than I remembered in daylight, and standing one step up made him huge.

“Hey,” I said back weakly. Why had I sent him that picture? I could see him remembering it in his mind. “I came out to watch.”

“I’ll try to put on a good show then,” he said, with a slow steady smile, then bounded down onto the field, running across to join the other players.

Sarah waited until he was out of earshot. “I thought you were here for Liam, not Danny?”

“I am!” I protested, too hard, too fast. She squinted at me like I was guilty.

Nothing happened during lunch. Balls were thrown, batted, caught, players ran all over the field, and Coach shouted a lot, but not a single one of them sent a revealing text.

I listened to Sarah half-way, the other half-of-me waiting for a telling electronic transmission.

I tried to watch who Danny hung out with—if I was wrong about Mason, I couldn’t get close to every member of the baseball team before prom, there just wasn’t time.

But even on the field, I could tell Mason was almost Danny’s—I don’t know—puppy?

Danny would make exclamations and Mason couldn’t help himself but to shout, “Yeah!” afterwards, as though the words had come from his own mouth, and I could tell from the way he looked at Danny how eager he was to follow.

I knew it was what it looked like, because once upon an embarrassing time in middle school, I’d felt that way about Sarah.

At the end of lunch hour, I hugged Sarah and walked away slowly, heading back to linger outside the gym, hopefully someplace I wouldn’t be seen, but where I could listen in if anyone said anything. It was hard to look nonchalant. Must’ve been easier back in the day when kids were allowed to smoke.

Then the guys were inside, I heard their voices echoing up the hall. There was a lot of cement between me and them, and Darius and I hadn’t tested that out yet, but a shower of sparks came through—ZB checks, GPS checks, and?—

Another trailer trash whore?

Can’t help it if she wants the D.

Then this time, share the P after she gets drunk.

Wants the D—the Danny?

Or…the dick.

My empty stomach roiled but I waited another thirty seconds in case there was anything else. When there wasn’t, I practically ran down the hall.

I was super on time to chemistry, the first person in the class, and Ms. Goodman smiled at my eagerness to learn. I gave her a brittle smile back, trying to ignore the taste of stomach acid inside my mouth.

When Liam walked in, freshly showered, he made a beeline for me. “Saw you in the bleachers at lunch.”

“Why didn’t you come say hi?”

“Because.” The look he gave me then—it was as confused as I felt. “I can’t figure you out, Jessie.”

“Um—okay?”

“Like—do—you want to study? Or not?” He seemed unsure, and even a little mad.

“Yeah. When?”

“Tonight? I’ll come get you after practice.”

“Sure,” I agreed, and watched him walk back to his seat behind me.

Liam walked away after class without further explanation, and I willed myself to ignore the bus ride home by texting Lacey.

How’s your mom today?

Better. And Betsy’s in town.

Good.

I’d met Lacey’s aunt before—she had a solid head on her shoulders. If anyone could straighten Ms. Harper out, it was her, she wouldn’t tolerate any foolishness.

How’s school?

I knew what she was asking—if it was safe yet.

I think I have a lead on Mason. But I haven’t gotten a chance to get close to him yet to make sure.

Hurry?

I will. Believe me.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo.

“Do it,” Emily hissed behind me. She’d been hissing it with increasingly louder volume that I’d been ignoring for Lacey, communing with my phone, so I had no idea what she was hissing it about or who to until—I felt someone yank the back of my bra, attempting to unsnap it.

But it took three clasps to hold my breasts in and up—and whomever she’d sent over was an amateur. I turned slowly and saw Brad Tucker there, a freshman, turning bright red.

“Brad,” I said, my voice low and full of warning.

I could feel the air crackling around us as the light became brighter in my periphery.

Then air brakes deflated and the door opened.

We were at my stop. I stood, scanning the back of the bus impassively, and walked off at my own pace.

I stopped when I got to the sidewalk and watched the bus roll away, listening to their raucous laughter out the open windows, and had a feeling I knew why Liam was pissed.

My mother was more cool with me helping Liam to ‘study’ than I was.

I mean, I wanted to go—and needed to, if I was going to somehow touch Mason’s phone before prom—but after today in chemistry class, I didn’t know.

Clearly, Danny had shown or told other people about the bra photo I’d sent him.

How was I going to play that down? How could I?

I heard Liam’s tires when he pulled up and sprang for the door. “Be back soon, bye!” I shouted and waved and closed the door behind me.

I was wearing a combo outfit, jeans and one of my mother’s tops I’d preemptively washed and sandals and I pulled myself up into the cab, trying to pretend things were normal. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Liam said back, his voice flat. His eyes only flickered in the rear view mirror in acknowledgement.

We drove in silence for as long as I could stand. I pulled my legs up into the seat with me. “What’s up?”

“I thought you weren’t like the other girls.”

“I’m gonna need some more references for that sentence to make sense.”

“You know what I’m talking about, Jessie—Danny showed that picture of your bra to the whole team.”

Up until then I’d been ready to play innocent and deny it. But the tone he had with me—it made me want to push back. “So what?”

“So—Hailey would’ve never done that.”

“I’m not Hailey.”

“I know. That was the point.” I watched his knuckles go white as he wrung the steering wheel. He was angry—angrier than he had a right to be. I could almost feel the pressure dropping in the truck’s cab like right before a storm and I remembered Darius’s warning about ‘roids.

“I think you should pull over now,” I said, and to my surprise, he did. He turned to me when the car was in park, though the engine continued to idle.

“What’s the point of all this, Liam? I mean, you practically haven’t talked to me since fifth grade, and now, what is this?” I gestured between us. “Why am I even here? Why did you choose now, of all times, to start with me?”

“I just—I thought you’d be different.”

Oh, I am different, believe me. “How so?”

“Danny just—he always gets the girls.”

“Does he now,” I said without inflection.

“Yeah. I mean, of course he does. He’s the pitcher of a nationally ranked team.

He’s always swimming in— he caught himself before he said something crude and finished with, “girls. When we go to out of town games you wouldn’t believe what goes on.

” He stared off into space, remembering them.

“I just didn’t think you were his type. Or that he was yours.

Lacey probably told you he was amazing.”

“She said nothing of the sort!”

“Then why are you trying to get with him?” He was almost yelling and the walls of the cab felt like they were closing in.

There was no good way to explain anything.

Luckily for me, he went on. “When Hailey left—I just wanted a friend, okay? And I’m not an idiot.

You’ve spent the past four years crushing on me. ”

Guilty as charged.

“But of course, you want Danny instead. Is it because he’s older? Or more famous than me?”

“Liam.” There had to be some way for me not to blow this –

“No—you’re just like Hailey after all,” he announced, like he’d answered his own question. “Just another cheating whore.”

My jaw dropped, and things fell into place.

I didn’t need to touch Liam’s phone to know what I’d find on it—the desperate texts, photos, voicemails, crying.

Despite what the Redson student body believed, I would bet Liam hadn’t dumped Hailey when they went long distance—she’d dumped him, and I was in the truck-cab with a broken boy because of it.

All the members of the Lewis family had gotten so used to winning they didn’t know how to lose.

Which was why he’d picked me to replace her.

Someone like me—unpopular and na?ve—was supposed to be a home run.

Or a hole in one. A slam dunk. Pick your metaphor.

“It just wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he said, with disgust.

“There’s a lot of that going around.” I looked around outside.

It wasn’t dark out yet and we weren’t that far from Ventana.

I angled back toward him and held up two fingers.

“First—I don’t actually want Danny. No matter what he’s told you.

He can go fuck himself—I’m sure he would if he could.

Second? Maybe you’re a little too late. Maybe you should’ve wanted me, sooner.

Maybe you shouldn’t have assumed I’d be waiting around all this time. ” I opened the door and hopped out.

“Jessie!” he said and I didn’t know if he was honestly concerned about me, or the shreds of his own self-esteem.

“Don’t worry. I can walk from here,” I said, and slammed the door in his face. Five seconds later his truck zoomed off, leaving me walking by the side of the road.

I took my sweet time walking back. I wanted to make sure my mother was off to work before I got home. I sat down beneath a stand of silver maples, cursing the humidity and wishing I’d worn a skirt anyhow, and thought messages to my phone.

Hey

I texted Darius.

How’s it going?

How to answer him?

I’m only 99% sure it was Mason Green who took the pictures. But I’m 100% sure I just pissed off Liam.

Why couldn’t I’ve just kept my mouth shut and apologized and begged? How many girls at Redson would’ve killed to get into Liam’s truck-cab? Why wasn’t I normal—or at least, why couldn’t I fake it?

Mmmmmm. I think I can get you close to Mason.

Really? How?

Can’t text it, but I can tell you tomorrow.

I wondered why he couldn’t send it, then decided to push my luck.

How about when you’re picking me up?

K.

And after that, the humidity didn’t bother me as much.

For once, my mother didn’t wake me up to interrogate me in the middle of the night.

The next morning I got Allie out the door in record time, then paced around.

Should I still try to look nice? Did I want to attract attention?

Not really, not after last night. But Darius was giving me a ride.

We were ‘paused’ but what the hell did that really mean?

I felt like all I did was run around in circles until his Corolla pulled up then I went outside with my stomach full of butterflies and I started talking the second I hopped in the car.

“So how do you know Mason?”

“Well, it may surprise you, but the baseball team’s favorite miscreant is a stoner—and not just any stoner, but he considers himself a connoisseur.”

“And?”

“And, I think I can tell him I got something special in, offer to make him a deal before prom. Then you can come with me.” He flipped the turn signal to get out of the park.

“Then I’ll be a felon too, hooray.”

Darius looked over at me as he turned. “You think all this hacking you’re doing’s legal? Just because you don’t know how you’re doing it, doesn’t make it okay.”

“Heh. True. I guess.”

“No ‘I guess’. I’m sure the NSA would love to crack your head open and see what makes you tick.”

“Pixie dust and bottomless rage?”

He laughed, and I decided to press my luck.

“Soooooo, about prom….”

“I’m gonna get tickets today.”

“Thanks.”

“I’d say you’re welcome, but I fear the price of being my prom date is probably meeting my uncle, so he believes you exist.”

“As long as you’re okay not meeting my mom. Because the less she knows about everything, the better.”

“Fine by me.”

We drove along and I thought about what this might be like if it had a chance to be real, and then swatted that thought from my mind. “Do I want to know what prom tickets cost?”

“Roughly the same amount as a new battery.”

“In that case, I solemnly swear to always charge yours for you.”

“Deal.”

I leaned back into my seat. This was really happening. “Shit,” I whispered. “I have to get a dress.”

Darius laughed again and I liked the sound of it, it made me smile. “Whatever you wear is fine with me.”