Page 77 of Duty and Desire

CHAPTER 5

TRADING UP

Lottie

Things did not go well after Mo was a supreme asshole.

If I wanted to look on the Brightside (which I didnot), him making it plain how fuckable he thought I was, was not a bad thing.

Himcompletelymissing the pass I was throwing at himwas.

I mean, did hehonestlythink I was wearing my nightie making breakfast with a man I hadn’t slept with just so I could be a huge-asstease?

No!

I wanted the big lug to ask me out.

Jerk.

Asshole.

Fuckface.

Obviously, considering I was an adult, I realized a route to rectifying this situation was to explain where I was at, and considering he thought I was fuckable, he’d probably get with the program.

Fat chance ofthat.

I couldn’t be an adult at the best of times, even actuallybeingan adult.

Sure. I got to work on time.

I paid my bills.

I kept my house.

I got oil changes when I was supposed to (though I thought that was a huge scam, every three months?come on).

What I did not do, for three days, was talk to Mo.

Yeah.

Not very adult.

Okay, that wasn’t exactly true.

We talked because I was my mother’s daughter. I couldn’t start my day with someone in my house silently trailing me and not offer him coffee.

So I’d said, “Coffee?” to him the next two mornings after he’d been a consummate jackass.

Other than that…

No.

Why?

Two reasons.

One, I was the kind of woman who held a grudge. I just did. I knew that wasn’t right. It had cost me friendships and boyfriends and maybe I should work on that.