Page 230 of Duty and Desire

“And he knows stuff about me. The lingerie was my label and the right size. He also has access to cow hearts, though probably he could just have got them from the butcher.”

“Blech.”

“Right?” I shivered. “He’s clever and opportunistic, handing stuff off to the delivery guy and paying him to bring it in. But at the same time, him coming to the building again shows he’s willing to take some risks. There were a few ways that little stunt might not have worked out.”

Abigael just frowned. It was a frowning kind of topic of discussion.

“He’s bloodthirsty, obviously. Likes using a knife.”

“You’re freaking me out,” said Abi. “This is why I don’t watch murder documentaries.”

“Imagine being in my shoes. It’s always at the back of my mind, making me jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof as Elizabeth Taylor would say.”

Abi gave me a small smile. It was a shitty situation. No hiding that. She finished up my face while Lena stood in front of the shooting area with its all-white surrounds. This room had no windows to let in outside light. She had another room upstairs with large industrial style windows that was cool to work with. Air-conditioners were doing their best, but I still felt the heat from the lights. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the fake eyelashes and the brightness.

“I like this look.” Zane, my co-designer for the lingerie line, took my robe. “The demi-cup bra was a nice idea. Goes well with the boy shorts.”

“We work magic together, dude.”

Zane sniffed. “Don’t call me dude. Dude.”

I held back a smile. “You were right, the trompe l’oeil embroidery is beautiful in light blue. And I like the opaque back on the panties.”

“Such a sweet set. You look almost virginal,” sighed Lena, lifting her camera to her face.

“Oh, I’m afraid those days are long gone, sweetie,” said Zane with a smile.

“Nice. Very nice.” I mock frowned. “You people are supposed to be my friends.”

“Please. Fashion means never having friends. Now stand there and look pretty.”

Lizzo played loud and proud over the stereo, setting the mood. I could only make out the shadow of Ziggy’s face due to all the lighting and him standing near the back of the room. But then he stepped forward far enough for me to see him and holy shit. The look in his dark eyes made me catch my breath.

And I definitely wasn’t imagining the I want to eat you from top to toe looks. Not even a little.

Though, now that I thought about it, he’d liked the look of me all made up for the party last night. With Abigael the wonder make-up artist having worked me over and the addition of some amazing scanty lingerie, odds were, a heterosexual male (of which I was pretty certain he was one) in this particular situation would like me even more. That’s all it was. Probably. Anyway, points to me for cracking his professional façade.

“Whatever you’re thinking about, please keep thinking about it.” Lena busily worked her camera, clicking off shot after shot. “The lusty dreamy look on your face is freaking perfect.”

“Agreed,” said Zane.

Suddenly, I felt exposed in a way that had nothing to do with standing there in my underwear. But what could I do? Fuck hiding. I wasn’t going to try and make myself small for anyone. I was Mae Cooper, goddammit. And if I was into a dude, then so be it, that dude was one damn lucky man. Though it might have been simpler had he not been standing right there staring at me while I worked. Oh well. Such is life. Lena gave me more instructions and I did my job.

The next piece was a risqué though slightly less revealing lace trim chemise in fire engine red. Abigael put my hair back into a messy ponytail for the piece. Same as before, Ziggy neither stepped back into the shadows nor took his gaze off me. I felt very protected. And ever so slightly turned on. A sensation I didn’t tend to experience at shoots generally speaking. You might flirt and play a little, but it never went beyond that. For me at least. However, Ziggy and his heated looks were driving me straight over the edge. A problem since damp panties in the current situation would be not only wrong but distressingly obvious.

Unfortunately, after the chemise came a beautiful black semi-sheer plunging demi-bralette with a lace thong. My breasts were barely contained, let alone my behind. One deep breath and there’d be flesh in everyone’s faces. With the thong also came a super embarrassing though not uncommon in this industry moment. Having a zit on your butt covered with concealer in front of a bunch of people wasn’t so great. But these things tended to happen with skimpy swimwear or ladies’ intimate apparel. Such was life. I tried to stay professional about it and crack my usual jokes. Emphasis on tried. At least there was a bathroom/changing room for the actual switching of outfits. Ziggy was probably seeing enough of my tits and ass for one day. More might get seriously awkward.

“We have a rather pointed and prominent nipple situation,” announced Zane at around this point. And here came more awkward. “Very pretty, Mae. But for this shoot we need to keep the focus on the fashion. Abi, you got the stickers?”

My day was just going from strength to strength. “Tell the truth, Zane. You’re just jealous you don’t get to shove your nipples in people’s faces on a regular basis.”

“Actually, you have a point.” He grinned. “I bet I’d be amazing at it. Give you a run for your money.”

I laughed.

Next came the white balconette bodysuit with embroidery on the cups I’d affectionately named “bang the bride.” My hair had been styled into a fancy windblown up-do. We liked to mix up the looks, keep things interesting. Subtly change the story being told in each picture. Ziggy’s expression this time around was especially gratifying. His cheekbones stood out in stark relief, his jaw fixed. The man just stared. And he made it next to impossible to keep my eyes off of him, let alone to not think about hot sex. With him, explicitly.

For certain, he had to be reacting to the ultra-glamorous model Mae Cooper. Not the boring old clumsy forgetful real me who wanted to be loved. Didn’t need the attention, but I sure did want it. I had to keep reminding myself of this oh so salient fact when it came to Ziggy’s attentions. Protecting my heart in this situation was the wise thing to do.