Page 18 of Duty and Desire

“I’ll set the alarm before I leave.”

“Okay.” She nods. And with that, I force myself to walk away.

CHAPTER 9

RELIEF

Bridgett

Blinking my eyes open, I hear the television’s low volume coming through the wall while the smell of bacon permeates the air around me. I drag in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Noah is safe and just on the other side of the door.

It’s odd to feel so relieved that he made it home. I never once worried about Conner while he was out or even gone for weeks, traveling for business. But every night, even the nights before the one I just spent under Noah’s roof, I’ve thought about him, wondered if he was okay, and hoped I didn’t wake up to some story on the news about an officer either injured or killed in the line of duty.

Grabbing my pillow, I drag it over my head and groan. My feelings for him have grown wildly out of control. Even reminding myself that I need to keep my emotions in check isn’t working.

Last evening, when he offered me a room at his place, I wanted to keep refusing him. But the truth is, I needed the lifeline he tossed my way. I might have enough money to get aroom at a seedy hotel for a week, but I’d likely be sleeping in my car after that. I couldn’t ask my brother and May if I could stay with them, even knowing they would probably feel bad for me and allow it.

Which I confirmed when I called Aiden to tell him what happened, and May suggested I stay at their place in her guest room.

No.

And I’d rather jump off a cliff than ask my parents if I could stay with them. My dad wouldn’t be difficult to deal with if he were on his own, but he’snot. And my mother would, without a doubt, use the situation as a reason to dig in her heels about why I should go back to Conner.

As the steady beep of my alarm begins to sound, I come out of my thoughts and toss my pillow away, then grab my phone off the floor to shut it off. I get up and fold my blankets, placing them on the arm of the couch, then put on my robe and grab my bathroom stuff before going to the door. With a deep breath, I step out into the living room and am instantly relieved when I don’t see Noah there or in the kitchen, making it easier for me to avoid him for a little longer. After a quick shower, I apply my makeup, which doesn’t take long since the task is one I have been doing almost every day since I was fifteen.

Ready—or mostly ready, anyway—I leave the bathroom, taking my stuff with me, and stop dead in my tracks when I spot Noah and the female officer he had been happy to see days ago when I brought him the cookies. The two of them hold coffee mugs as they talk quietly in the kitchen.

My stomach sinks to my toes, and I instantly hate how perfect they look together. Both of them are dressed in workout gear that shows off just how in shape they are. Really, they look like they belong on one of those ads for CrossFit or Body Boot Camp. Meanwhile, I’ve been eating my feelings for weeksand have gained not just weight in my stomach but also in my bottom and hips.

Not that I minded until this moment.

“Morning,” the woman says, and I snap out of my pity party for one and plaster a smile on my face.

“Morning,” I greet her, then look down when I feel paws on my calf, finding Lola standing on her hind legs. “Hey, sweet girl.” My smile is genuine as I lean down to rub the top of her head. She was a little leery of me after Noah left last night, but by the time I was finished with my laundry, we were the best of friends.

“You want some breakfast, babe?” Noah asks, and my stomach twists at his deep voice. Every time he’s called mebabein the past, it’s made my heart beat a little funny. Now, I know it’s just a nickname he’s probably given to dozens of women.

“I wish, but I don’t have time. I’m actually running late since I need to be at the office a little earlier today,” I lie as I straighten from petting Lola, then toss a smile in his direction but avoid eye contact. “Be back.” I head to my room to get dressed.

When I’m done, I grab my purse and phone and step into the living room to find Noah and the woman still in the kitchen. Since I can’t avoid them, I head their way. Both of their gazes come to me.

“I didn’t get to introduce myself the other day or this morning,” the woman says as soon as I step into the room. “I’m Jennifer. Noah and I used to be partners.” She holds out her hand, and I grab hold of it on instinct.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Bridgett. Noah and my brother are best friends. That’s why I’m here.” I add the last part, wanting to make sure she knows why I’m staying with her boyfriend.

“He mentioned that.” She glances over at him and smirks. “And just so you know, he and I aren’t together. He just enjoys torturing me with weekly workouts.”

Wait, what?

I clear my throat, and she gives me a knowing smile.

“Here,” Noah says as she lets my hand go. I drop my eyes to the black travel mug he’s holding toward me. “I made bacon. If you want, I’ll make a sandwich you can take with you.”

“Thank you.” I take the mug, feeling like the biggest kind of ass. “That’s not necessary. I’ll just get something to eat at a drive-thru on my way through town.”

“Bridgett, if a man offers to make you food, you accept,” Jennifer informs me, and I rub my lips together.

“I guess I could eat a bacon sandwich,” I say quietly, and she laughs while I hear Noah grunt. Taking my coffee with me, I step back toward the counter and set down my bag while Noah goes to the fridge and pulls out mayo and cheese.